It's not that I don't want to tell you. It's just...

[ Hard to find words, mostly. Everything he comes up with always feels like it falls short of what he really means. The tether is helpful, in that sense, but at the same time, letting it come through there feels...like too much. More of him than anyone else should have to put up with. ]

I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to call on them again and not think about it.