[ even against the current of the calm that washes over him, agent choi can't make himself alright with it. doesn't particularly want to try. he still remembers what subaru said, after all: one group undergoes changes of the body, and the other undergoes changes of the soul. fundamentally, this feels much the same.
they've both lost something about themselves.
the tiger grumbles, dissatisfied, and pins its ears back for just a moment to show its displeasure.
he guesses sleep won't be satisfied with them doing things in halves. ]
[ Distaste wells in his throat, but it's not his own. Bits and pieces of himself should be harder to parcel up and give away. But that's how it's always been — his heart beneath the cherry blossom tree, his soul in the stars. One eye and both lungs cloudy. Carefully, Subaru's next pass over Agent Choi's folded ears is closer to the way he'd carded his fingers through his hair when he was trying to coax him to rest. He knows it's difficult to bear; he doesn't pretend otherwise. He respects him too much.
If it's within his power to press humanity back into this strange outline Sleep has made of him, he will. ]
[ it's not that he doesn't understand. a nameless man should, at least, but still... maybe it's the fact that this time, it was sleep. it tastes bitter.
but the feeling reaches its peak, subsiding shortly after. not dismissed but at least properly felt and conveyed, he can set it aside in favour of what subaru has to say.
as that gentle hand caresses his fur, the tiger's eyes close. rather than flatten, this time its ears swivel, listening attentively. ]
[ Meeting his gaze, it really is remarkable how much his eyes have remained the same. ]
He's not divine. He's godlike, but not a god. Sleep... is beyond my capability right now, unless she can be asked directly.
[ But it's interesting, isn't it? A "god" entwined with a being who is not a god, but bears similarities to one. A beast, a force of nature, and the magic tethered to them...
[ it's food for thought, certainly, but in such a way that it only seems to pave the way to more questions. agent choi's mind turns, the gears spinning as information is memorized and stored carefully away for safekeeping until need of it might arise. but, for now? he'll resist the temptation to interrogate that scrap right down until only bone is left.
instead, he decides to build on what subaru has to offer him, the question carried across their tether by a genuine curiosity: does he think that she will answer honestly, if asked directly?
She may not know. There might be nothing to know at all. The only way to find out is to ask.
[ A hesitation lingers briefly on the tail end of his statement, more felt than heard. It's a rarity for someone so sure like he typically is. Subaru's hands still and he rests them on Choi's side thoughtfully for a moment. ]
There's just something I owe her.
[ It sounds simple, but even if he doesn't elaborate further, the tether saturates with it. It's terribly precious to him, whatever it is. His want for knowledge, for now, doesn't outweigh it. ]
it doesn't sound like a small one by any mean, and thinking about it, choi's mouth feels dry. the tiger in subaru's lap snorts, but he's careful in what he shares with the tether—only a simple understanding comes through. message received.
...
a moment passes, and as if making its decision, the tiger pulls itself up to its feet in an abrupt motion. where its paws might step, it seems careful not to place too much of its weight—tentative, as if testing its footing, before it manages to manoeuvre itself to face subaru properly, body resting in the spot next to him rather than on him.
after a moment of peering at him, blinking, it lowers its head slightly, eyes remaining fixed on subaru's all the while. it seems to be expecting something. ]
[ Allowing him to get up and switch positions, the absence of his weight prominent in the moment that it rises, Subaru can't help but feel — alarm. Soft, brief, echoing upwards from some buried part of him just enough to break free and run through their tether.
Message received?
He wants to ask him what he means by that. But he also thinks he knows, even if only a little. ]
...I don't really have the right to tell you what to do, [ Subaru starts, his thoughts slow to manifest as words. ] But...
[ He reaches out, taking his head in his hands. ]
Don't do anything so reckless that there's no way for you to take it back.
[ for a moment, the animal simply blinks up at subaru, as if listening patiently for more.
...
give it a moment though, and it will close its eyes, nuzzling its face against his hand and up his wrist. it huffs and chuffs as it does so, and if subaru humors it enough, it will try to rub its cheeks up against his too, stepping back into his lap to get closer. surely this is justified if you don't have better means to show friendliness and affection, right?
behind it, its thick tail is raised high, curled at the tip. the tether between them remains wordless, but filling it instead is a great sense of affection—and confidence.
so maybe subaru can forgive him for not accepting his terms as a proper promise. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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they've both lost something about themselves.
the tiger grumbles, dissatisfied, and pins its ears back for just a moment to show its displeasure.
he guesses sleep won't be satisfied with them doing things in halves. ]
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If it's within his power to press humanity back into this strange outline Sleep has made of him, he will. ]
There was one more thing.
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but the feeling reaches its peak, subsiding shortly after. not dismissed but at least properly felt and conveyed, he can set it aside in favour of what subaru has to say.
as that gentle hand caresses his fur, the tiger's eyes close. rather than flatten, this time its ears swivel, listening attentively. ]
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I scried One's blood.
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choi lifts his head sharply, peering up at subaru with large, expectant blue eyes. ]
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He's not divine. He's godlike, but not a god. Sleep... is beyond my capability right now, unless she can be asked directly.
[ But it's interesting, isn't it? A "god" entwined with a being who is not a god, but bears similarities to one. A beast, a force of nature, and the magic tethered to them...
It's been on his mind. That's all. ]
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instead, he decides to build on what subaru has to offer him, the question carried across their tether by a genuine curiosity: does he think that she will answer honestly, if asked directly?
... does he think she knows the answer herself? ]
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She may not know. There might be nothing to know at all. The only way to find out is to ask.
[ A hesitation lingers briefly on the tail end of his statement, more felt than heard. It's a rarity for someone so sure like he typically is. Subaru's hands still and he rests them on Choi's side thoughtfully for a moment. ]
There's just something I owe her.
[ It sounds simple, but even if he doesn't elaborate further, the tether saturates with it. It's terribly precious to him, whatever it is. His want for knowledge, for now, doesn't outweigh it. ]
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it doesn't sound like a small one by any mean, and thinking about it, choi's mouth feels dry. the tiger in subaru's lap snorts, but he's careful in what he shares with the tether—only a simple understanding comes through. message received.
...
a moment passes, and as if making its decision, the tiger pulls itself up to its feet in an abrupt motion. where its paws might step, it seems careful not to place too much of its weight—tentative, as if testing its footing, before it manages to manoeuvre itself to face subaru properly, body resting in the spot next to him rather than on him.
after a moment of peering at him, blinking, it lowers its head slightly, eyes remaining fixed on subaru's all the while. it seems to be expecting something. ]
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Message received?
He wants to ask him what he means by that. But he also thinks he knows, even if only a little. ]
...I don't really have the right to tell you what to do, [ Subaru starts, his thoughts slow to manifest as words. ] But...
[ He reaches out, taking his head in his hands. ]
Don't do anything so reckless that there's no way for you to take it back.
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...
give it a moment though, and it will close its eyes, nuzzling its face against his hand and up his wrist. it huffs and chuffs as it does so, and if subaru humors it enough, it will try to rub its cheeks up against his too, stepping back into his lap to get closer. surely this is justified if you don't have better means to show friendliness and affection, right?
behind it, its thick tail is raised high, curled at the tip. the tether between them remains wordless, but filling it instead is a great sense of affection—and confidence.
so maybe subaru can forgive him for not accepting his terms as a proper promise. ]