[ here, it doesn't break down inside of the talisman, this ... confinement not as suffocating for the feline. the body is broken down in various ways that fundamentally doesn't make sense, but the longer it dwells, the better it can adjust itself. the constant movement within the talisman, the matte pulses briefly, returns to being stagnant and stretches along the available space.
the cat, once mindful of the marks, interacts with what's there as though trying to understand (or maybe correct itself).
layering some parts of itself over the runes, they're simple despite the feline struggling to find a proper "form". no thanks to the void that they're inside in, it makes correcting itself a little more easier with the need this place has with taking energy, but finding safety within the talismans assist even if the cat needs more time to correct itself.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts to move in this space, but it's easier to find form properly. ]
โ
[ one part of feline resides in one talisman, and what looks like the curl of a tail in another. an artistic eye can see that the cat is trying to find the "shape" of what it was while trying to "speak".
stronger this time with the seals holding the feline together, it tries again. ]
[ Movement glints out from the matte pool of tiny shadows as it pours over between talismans, seeking shape, coherence. The relief he feels when it works is palpable. His craft might be absolute back home, but here, he's still not so used to how magic and form can blend. Subaru knows it can't be easy, trying to define a container that struggles to attach itself to. It's a shadow, after all. Attached to the entity or object that creates it rather than written and set loose.
Once the arrow appears, he swivels the handful of paper in that direction. Using the cat like a compass, he starts off, the tap of his footsteps sinking into the slightly spongy ground rife with fungal matter.
Maybe, he thinks with a cold clarity, it's better if he jogs. ]
there's this absent of light, everything feels cold, it's an experience where even breathing or moving is the last thing on his mind. for a brief moment, even the cat-compass stops, shudders, and begins to fade in color. a lapse in judgement is all, a mistake in decision, the assistance of the talisman assists in keeping the feline in place, helping ground it in place. ]
โฎเฉญ
[ ignore the tail.
in the center of the park, a man sits politely staring at one empty side of the bench and is conversing with nothing. the sound of footsteps, his mouth closes shut, and turning his head where subaru can see in full view. half of soleum's face has turned into an obsidian sludge, shadows curling off like steam that's being drained by the inside of this space. round glasses have already slid down onto the ground covered in the same make-up of the cat that the other had scooped into talismans.
half a hand lifts up, the edges of soleum's skin darkened from where it slowly unfurls and drips away comes to hide his face. all it does is touch the substance, the edges sticking together like bubblegum until he pulls them away with a snap. it lacks sound, most things here do. whatever drips from the bench adds to the dark puddle on the ground, only growing bigger as time continues on.
one eye remains in soleum's head with the crimson center gone, and his pupil, a deep black, looks to the talisman in subaru's hand. ]
But at least he doesn't comment on it, attention caught by its end destination on the bench. ]
...no, [ is the first thing he thinks to say when faced with such a predicament, declining the presence of an apology. Not to him, not for this. ] it's better that they did.
[ Because how long would he have in this place that weaves joy out of dissolution? The air hums with it, whispers sieving whole chunks of his person away. It wasn't something he'd thought the these void planes were capable of; wouldn't have thought unless confronted with it, still. What is she saying to him? He can't hear what, or whose voice she has. Approaching, Subaru kneels to get a better look at what parts are already missing and which still loosening into half-incorporeal tendrils.
His instinct is to touch, but how much damage could he do when he's already like this? Carefully, he extends the talismans so the shaded cat has the opportunity to slide off of it if chooses. In that movement, his thoughts race, tallying the limits of his magic only barely recovered, the paper he wields it with. ]
I have to get you out of here.
[ By some other means than his spells, at that. Just a small cat's worth of shadow fit onto the talismans, but a whole person? ]
[ half a face, when he speaks, his tongue has started to darken too, like it's also breaking down. perhaps it's started from the inside, and now it begins to branch out. his eye glances to the empty seat where "something" sits, and then he looks to subaru who has kneeled down to look over the situation. as he assesses, his half of a hand comes down to his lap before falling off from the wrist.
it splatters onto the ground, what was the color of his hand pops, breaks down and liquefies into the already growing puddle. in his mind, soleum's screaming, he's screaming, it's a horrible sight to him being unable to live from this horrible dream, and yet... outward, he can only stare. around the waist, some parts of the leg are where black tendrils begging to become undone seep through the fabric, slowly and barely visible.
soleum must remain calm even if he can feel himself breaking down, it's not like before, yesitis. he realized the truth and accepted already, thetruthhasalwaysbeenthat. so why is it happening again. block it out, ignore it.
ask for help. ask for help. ]
Pardon?
[ the cat within the talisman pours out like a waterfall, and it's body has finally returned to what's normal in this void. there's uses in the way it breaks them down to where parts no longer hold together, and within a talisman that contains all parts... this place crushes them into a form. with a swish of the feline's tail, it stretches showing off the entirety of its body before walking over to agent grapes. ]
I have something I don't want to leave unfinished. [ a conversation, the one that was interrupted when subaru appeared. agent grapes turns to look at the cat nearby. ]
They can lead you out... It's not safe to be alone.
What do you mean? [ Subaru's tone gentles, even if urgency surges in its undertow. ] You're not safe here either.
[ Carefully, his gaze dips to the space beside him. Empty but charged. He's feeling the weight of a presence even if it's only defined by Soleum's focus on it. Though he doesn't have his onmyoudo, his keen senses are buzzing, static bright like a livewire. His expression creases as he tries to focus on it. The cat is more corporeal even if made of the same shadow-stuff, apparitions given shape by — guiding others out? It must be. That's where these faces that he wears intersect, every time.
Knelt at his side, the puddle continues to grow. It's not so dissimilar from Megumi's shadows... but even a sorcerer of his caliber struggled to keep them in a cohesive form. Can he do it? Or will he have to follow the order of this place? ]
Your magic is going to come apart like this. Someone is... speaking to you, right? What is it saying?
[ He'd felt it prickle on the back of his neck like he was being hunted too. Delving into the void only made it worsen. ]
[ this place will eat him alive too, agent grapes knows this, and it's why he expects the cat by him to lead subaru out. he leans forward, one hand— stump of the wrist?— no that's just the edge of the jacket he wears dripping something black onto the ground.
it trickles onto the black cat like rain, rejected too as it slides along the surface and onto the ground around the feline. aware of this, that one red eye watching his body break down like so before him, he understands how grave the situation is at hand.
subaru.
he can not be here. ]
I don't have magic. [ he doesn't want it. if this place could tear it out from him, remove the pieces of himself that doesn't make up kim soleum. then he'd welcome it. the thought is so tempting when said by someone else when they view him like this. ]
But... you do.
[ that hand comes back to his lap, agent grapes tilts his head down, and he listens.
— What a nosey fellow! This is an a and b conversation, wouldn't you say, friend? — What to do, what to do. You really shouldn't tell him, it's been some time since we could speak, friend. — I can help you, friend! Stay a little longer, this Host has so much advice to help you out of this predicament. Now— ]
To break it down from the inside, you have to understand what you're against.
[ — That's fine and dandy, friend! this gracious host thinks you should tell him โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโ. ]
[ That insistence makes his stomach churn. He doesn't have magic, but he does, but he doesn't want it, but there is so little choice (irony) when you are chosen (irony, it must be) to carry it.
Part of him, though, the part of him that defaults him to acceptance, to the usage of Her runes and Her language, wishes that his onmyoudo were at its height. If he had a spell to cast to the empty space on the bench, to the voided whorls of whispering and temptation, he would cast without hesitation. But there's also the matter where here, the lines between magic and psyche and dream and self are so blurred even Subaru struggles with it. Even if he could seal it... ]
Then you also remember this, don't you?
[ Not Agent Grapes, but Roe Deer. He doesn't bridge these gaps here save this one thing: ]
To better understand the form something takes, you need to draw it out.
[ is subaru a cruel person for crossing the gaps of territory he doesn't understand? once is an accident, a second time is on purpose as he's willingly taking advantage of knowing one, separating it from the other. even if this shell of agent grapes is melting, pooling onto the ground, it was his own comment that brought upon this opportunity.
who is meant to answer? roe deer?
should he part half of his mouth, should he find the right words? ask what they are? that's not the type of person he is, an agent knows better— agents over civilians is a strict rule. agent grapes doesn't follow it because he can't stomach the idea of anyone doing anything for him, risking themselves.
it's why he's comfortable working alone. ]
Pardon...
[ barely above a whisper, he tilts his head down, and the black tips of his hair has started beading at the tips. much like rain rolling down off the very end of a leaf. he knows why that's being said. he knows. ]
...Are you going to draw it out, then? [ a pause. ] That's something you shouldn't do alone.
[ his wise words as he is now, even if he can feel the tip of his tongue blister and pop. ]
[ An onmyouji's appeal goes both ways: speak to what isn't there, and speak to what it is. ]
If there's no other way. [ And time is running out. These voids are not only silent and cold and debilitating, breaking down everything that strays within them for too long, but they instill something ruinous as well, for those who dare to brave rescue, or research. He feels it, squirming against his insides as a feeling more than a physical presence. Like something sick, something alive. How long it will be content to stay just a feeling, he doesn't know. ] Knowing that you're here, I can't just leave. And...
[ He thinks of sitting next to Itadori Yuji in the funeral hall of his memories, Fushiguro Megumi in the bloodbath. Shirou Kamui, fled to the watery bottommost recesses of his soul. And even before that... the dreaming girl, asleep, asleep, whispering I hate you, Subaru. Each time, he'd given them a choice to follow him out. He prefers it. ]
...I'd ask you to come with me, but maybe I wouldn't be able to stomach the answer. So instead, I'll ask this.
If I shouldn't do it alone, will you let me get away with trying?
[ the void breaks down, saps light, removes darkness. it cleans up what shouldn't be inside, and the danger that it poses continues to linger as subaru remains right here. shouldn't he go, why doesn't he leave, and why does it cause an uncomfortable sensation in the pity of his stomach. he thinks he might throw up, but he's worried what will come up isn't anything normal.
a blackness in his stomach, something that's begging to come up. ]
I... [ his thoughts are as concrete as himself, one eye missing, his tongue next on the chopping block as a black substance leaks from the corner of his mouth. he hates it when someone tries to do anything for him, he can't stand it when someone tries to risk their life for him because of what he's done.
that's why he stands, pushing himself up even if his body wishes to work against him. this isn't him having a situation where he can't do one or the other, it's because he's not the type of person. even if the other is starting to blur in one eye, like water paint rolling down the canvas. ]
I can't let you be harmed. [ or let him go alone, even if soleum's breaking apart at the seams. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
the cat, once mindful of the marks, interacts with what's there as though trying to understand (or maybe correct itself).
layering some parts of itself over the runes, they're simple despite the feline struggling to find a proper "form". no thanks to the void that they're inside in, it makes correcting itself a little more easier with the need this place has with taking energy, but finding safety within the talismans assist even if the cat needs more time to correct itself.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts to move in this space, but it's easier to find form properly. ]
โ
[ one part of feline resides in one talisman, and what looks like the curl of a tail in another. an artistic eye can see that the cat is trying to find the "shape" of what it was while trying to "speak".
stronger this time with the seals holding the feline together, it tries again. ]
โ
no subject
Once the arrow appears, he swivels the handful of paper in that direction. Using the cat like a compass, he starts off, the tap of his footsteps sinking into the slightly spongy ground rife with fungal matter.
Maybe, he thinks with a cold clarity, it's better if he jogs. ]
no subject
there's this absent of light, everything feels cold, it's an experience where even breathing or moving is the last thing on his mind. for a brief moment, even the cat-compass stops, shudders, and begins to fade in color. a lapse in judgement is all, a mistake in decision, the assistance of the talisman assists in keeping the feline in place, helping ground it in place. ]
โฎเฉญ
[ ignore the tail.
in the center of the park, a man sits politely staring at one empty side of the bench and is conversing with nothing. the sound of footsteps, his mouth closes shut, and turning his head where subaru can see in full view. half of soleum's face has turned into an obsidian sludge, shadows curling off like steam that's being drained by the inside of this space. round glasses have already slid down onto the ground covered in the same make-up of the cat that the other had scooped into talismans.
half a hand lifts up, the edges of soleum's skin darkened from where it slowly unfurls and drips away comes to hide his face. all it does is touch the substance, the edges sticking together like bubblegum until he pulls them away with a snap. it lacks sound, most things here do. whatever drips from the bench adds to the dark puddle on the ground, only growing bigger as time continues on.
one eye remains in soleum's head with the crimson center gone, and his pupil, a deep black, looks to the talisman in subaru's hand. ]
...Sorry. I told them... not to bother anyone.
no subject
But at least he doesn't comment on it, attention caught by its end destination on the bench. ]
...no, [ is the first thing he thinks to say when faced with such a predicament, declining the presence of an apology. Not to him, not for this. ] it's better that they did.
[ Because how long would he have in this place that weaves joy out of dissolution? The air hums with it, whispers sieving whole chunks of his person away. It wasn't something he'd thought the these void planes were capable of; wouldn't have thought unless confronted with it, still. What is she saying to him? He can't hear what, or whose voice she has. Approaching, Subaru kneels to get a better look at what parts are already missing and which still loosening into half-incorporeal tendrils.
His instinct is to touch, but how much damage could he do when he's already like this? Carefully, he extends the talismans so the shaded cat has the opportunity to slide off of it if chooses. In that movement, his thoughts race, tallying the limits of his magic only barely recovered, the paper he wields it with. ]
I have to get you out of here.
[ By some other means than his spells, at that. Just a small cat's worth of shadow fit onto the talismans, but a whole person? ]
no subject
it splatters onto the ground, what was the color of his hand pops, breaks down and liquefies into the already growing puddle. in his mind, soleum's screaming, he's screaming, it's a horrible sight to him being unable to live from this horrible dream, and yet... outward, he can only stare. around the waist, some parts of the leg are where black tendrils begging to become undone seep through the fabric, slowly and barely visible.
soleum must remain calm even if he can feel himself breaking down, it's not like before, yesitis. he realized the truth and accepted already, thetruthhasalwaysbeenthat. so why is it happening again. block it out, ignore it.
ask for help.
ask for help. ]
Pardon?
[ the cat within the talisman pours out like a waterfall, and it's body has finally returned to what's normal in this void. there's uses in the way it breaks them down to where parts no longer hold together, and within a talisman that contains all parts... this place crushes them into a form. with a swish of the feline's tail, it stretches showing off the entirety of its body before walking over to agent grapes. ]
I have something I don't want to leave unfinished. [ a conversation, the one that was interrupted when subaru appeared. agent grapes turns to look at the cat nearby. ]
They can lead you out... It's not safe to be alone.
no subject
[ Carefully, his gaze dips to the space beside him. Empty but charged. He's feeling the weight of a presence even if it's only defined by Soleum's focus on it. Though he doesn't have his onmyoudo, his keen senses are buzzing, static bright like a livewire. His expression creases as he tries to focus on it. The cat is more corporeal even if made of the same shadow-stuff, apparitions given shape by — guiding others out? It must be. That's where these faces that he wears intersect, every time.
Knelt at his side, the puddle continues to grow. It's not so dissimilar from Megumi's shadows... but even a sorcerer of his caliber struggled to keep them in a cohesive form. Can he do it? Or will he have to follow the order of this place? ]
Your magic is going to come apart like this. Someone is... speaking to you, right? What is it saying?
[ He'd felt it prickle on the back of his neck like he was being hunted too. Delving into the void only made it worsen. ]
no subject
it trickles onto the black cat like rain, rejected too as it slides along the surface and onto the ground around the feline. aware of this, that one red eye watching his body break down like so before him, he understands how grave the situation is at hand.
subaru.
he can not be here. ]
I don't have magic. [ he doesn't want it. if this place could tear it out from him, remove the pieces of himself that doesn't make up kim soleum. then he'd welcome it. the thought is so tempting when said by someone else when they view him like this. ]
But... you do.
[ that hand comes back to his lap, agent grapes tilts his head down, and he listens.
— What a nosey fellow! This is an a and b conversation, wouldn't you say, friend?
— What to do, what to do. You really shouldn't tell him, it's been some time since we could speak, friend.
— I can help you, friend! Stay a little longer, this Host has so much advice to help you out of this predicament. Now— ]
To break it down from the inside, you have to understand what you're against.
[ — That's fine and dandy, friend! this gracious host thinks you should tell him โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโ. ]
Something followed you here.
no subject
Part of him, though, the part of him that defaults him to acceptance, to the usage of Her runes and Her language, wishes that his onmyoudo were at its height. If he had a spell to cast to the empty space on the bench, to the voided whorls of whispering and temptation, he would cast without hesitation. But there's also the matter where here, the lines between magic and psyche and dream and self are so blurred even Subaru struggles with it. Even if he could seal it... ]
Then you also remember this, don't you?
[ Not Agent Grapes, but Roe Deer. He doesn't bridge these gaps here save this one thing: ]
To better understand the form something takes, you need to draw it out.
no subject
who is meant to answer? roe deer?
should he part half of his mouth, should he find the right words? ask what they are? that's not the type of person he is, an agent knows better— agents over civilians is a strict rule. agent grapes doesn't follow it because he can't stomach the idea of anyone doing anything for him, risking themselves.
it's why he's comfortable working alone. ]
Pardon...
[ barely above a whisper, he tilts his head down, and the black tips of his hair has started beading at the tips. much like rain rolling down off the very end of a leaf. he knows why that's being said. he knows. ]
...Are you going to draw it out, then? [ a pause. ] That's something you shouldn't do alone.
[ his wise words as he is now, even if he can feel the tip of his tongue blister and pop. ]
no subject
If there's no other way. [ And time is running out. These voids are not only silent and cold and debilitating, breaking down everything that strays within them for too long, but they instill something ruinous as well, for those who dare to brave rescue, or research. He feels it, squirming against his insides as a feeling more than a physical presence. Like something sick, something alive. How long it will be content to stay just a feeling, he doesn't know. ] Knowing that you're here, I can't just leave. And...
[ He thinks of sitting next to Itadori Yuji in the funeral hall of his memories, Fushiguro Megumi in the bloodbath. Shirou Kamui, fled to the watery bottommost recesses of his soul. And even before that... the dreaming girl, asleep, asleep, whispering I hate you, Subaru. Each time, he'd given them a choice to follow him out. He prefers it. ]
...I'd ask you to come with me, but maybe I wouldn't be able to stomach the answer. So instead, I'll ask this.
If I shouldn't do it alone, will you let me get away with trying?
no subject
a blackness in his stomach, something that's begging to come up. ]
I... [ his thoughts are as concrete as himself, one eye missing, his tongue next on the chopping block as a black substance leaks from the corner of his mouth. he hates it when someone tries to do anything for him, he can't stand it when someone tries to risk their life for him because of what he's done.
that's why he stands, pushing himself up even if his body wishes to work against him. this isn't him having a situation where he can't do one or the other, it's because he's not the type of person. even if the other is starting to blur in one eye, like water paint rolling down the canvas. ]
I can't let you be harmed. [ or let him go alone, even if soleum's breaking apart at the seams. ]