[ Surprise briefly touches his features. In truth, he'd nearly forgotten about the coat he'd lent out all those nights ago in the cathedral. Though it's one of the only things he brought from home, if it was ruined in the process, it wouldn't have really shocked him. There wasn't much hope in leaving that place untouched by its effects, let alone the blood. So seeing it proudly held aloft in Caelus's hands, cleaned even of its smoke scent, stills him. Just long enough to catch the words on the sticky note; those little notes have really pulled their weight. More than once, even.
Opting to keep the note where it is for now, Subaru indicates the small cabinet above the stairs that leads into the bedroom. ]
— thank you, those doors there. You can set it on the top shelf.
[ He's going to prepare another bucket, meanwhile...
The interior of the tiny closet space isn't much to look at either, aside from a half-empty carton of cigarettes, some clothing items, the decorative box Aventurine left him, and an old cup full of various writing utensils. ]
[ Turning around to do so, Caelus heads down the hallway to deposit the freshly laundered long jacket in the right place. When the trailblazer opens the cabinet, the cake cat decides to jump into it… ]
Hey. [ "Muni?" ] Don't "what?" me. Come out of there.
[ "Munimuni. Muu. Myuyu." ]
No! That's not— [ "Myu, myuu!" ] I said n— no! Don't laugh at me! Anyway, I said to come out.
[ The cake cat ignores him… It's making itself right at home in that cabinet, causing the trailblazer to make a "I can't believe this little punk" face. Caelus has to really reach into the cabinet to reach and pull out the cake cat, which lets out some whining afterward. He sets the cat on the floor after, allowing it to play elsewhere than to curl up on Subaru's clean clothes…
Once the cat starts rolling around Subaru's floor to explore the space, Caelus returns to the older man's side and smiles nervously. A bit embarrassed. ]
Sorry about him. Galactic Baseballer Jr. likes to break the rules. I'm actually surprised by how well-behaved he is when you held him earlier! He never sits still like that for me.
Really? [ Brows lifted as Subaru passes a small bag of potting soil to Caelus, he glances to the cake cat now scuttling about on the floor. He doesn't seem like he would've minded if he stayed in his closet, if that's where he wanted to be. Chores can be terribly boring to witness, he knows. But neither does he want to waste Caelus's responsible efforts... ] He seems polite enough to me.
[ Briefly, Subaru and Galactic Baseballer Jr. meet each other's eyes. He smiles a bit. ]
Isn't that so?
[ He watches it puff its body up proudly before leaving it to its adventuring. ]
You made him? [ Subaru turns his attention back to the task, turning the faucet on to wet the soil. ] He has your magical signature.
[ Once Caelus receives the soil, he's extra careful with it, making sure the plant stays safe as he starts helping to replant them. He keeps his eyes focused on the task, but continues to chat lightheartedly. He shortly laughs after hearing Subaru describe Galactic Baseballer Jr. as polite. ]
You should have seen him after he was born. He messed up my room and ate some of my precious materials. Punk!
[ He worked hard to collect those! What is he going to do now? He'll have to start all over again to find more. But he can't roam around too much yet, since he's still on the way to full recovery. He's still on the therapy part, trying to move his muscles a little more (through these walks) so they can recover better… He'll have to wait to restock. ]
Ah, but yes! I did. It seems this is part of my new abilities as well.
Galactic Baseballer Jr. isn't my original creation, though; I have a biologist friend from my universe who designed these creatures. But I know their DNA structures because I work as her assistant, I have created more of them to increase their population, and also further developed them from their original forms.
[ Caelus is impressed that Subaru can tell easily from a glance, but it makes sense that he can. Subaru's really talented as a spellcaster! Galactic Baseballer Jr. is also impressed, so it rolls over to the onmyouji's feet and starts fondly rubbing itself against them, purring audibly. ]
You think Galactic Baseballer Jr. is too long a name? I'm trying to think of a nickname for him. Galaxy? Baseballer? … Baller?
[ It carries the same signature as the brief curls of magic he's felt from Caelus here and there, even if none ever really manifested fully in front of him yet. It was also a simple enough conclusion to reach after hearing that he'd been on bedrest and left to experiment with his abundance of free time. ...Subaru can't deny that he'd do any differently, really, especially since he's not let up at all in studying and practicing his spellcasting since arriving in Manhattan. ]
Babies do tend to navigate with their mouths. [ Uncertain of what something is? Into the maw it goes. Subaru regards its purring kindly. ] Aren't all things that are just born going to want to eat and grow? Even if it's unfortunate for your collection...
[ whose side is this guy on?? — anyway...
Subaru picks up one of the vining stalks and hands it to Caelus to plant. ]
You probably shouldn't call it Baller. [ His opinion is purely professional. ] He looks like a dessert, though. What about drawing inspiration from that?
[ That's true, huh? … Caelus is suddenly making a "Σ(° □ ° ˶)" face, looking quite guilty. Guess who shoved weird stuff in his own mouth after awakening for the first time? There were so many things that fascinated this space raccoon on his activation day!
But then it shortly turns into "(•̀ ⤙ •́ ˶)!!" face when Caelus realizes that Subaru's being biased!? for the cake cat!! Understandable, but still!? Can't stop him from being jealous of the cat. Little punk just got here today! For five minutes!
Galactic Baseballer Jr. keeps purring at Subaru's feet, but takes a short pause to look at Caelus. … "Munimuni. Myuu!" The trailblazer's eyes stare in disbelief after hearing the cat's words, but he attempts not to react. No, he can't look lame in front of Subaru. His heart is a calm leaf on still waters.
Calm. He gently receives the vining stalk to continue working quietly, trying to maintain a zen smile. But his tether is a different story, isn't it? That tether is inconveniently spilling how jealous he is right now. ]
[ Though Subaru is none the wiser about the conversation that just transpired, he can feel the spark of it illuminate across the tether. Amusement drifts in slow, sedate curls — just as calmly, Subaru uses the plants as a means to keep the peace. They're delicate and require a little concentration, after all.
(But he isn't kicking the cat off his feet, either.) ]
[ The trailblazer has yet to eat food like that, since none of the planets he's been through so far are similar to Japan. But Caelus looks very interested, seems to be really considering "Anko" as a name. Whatever it is, he has a good feeling it's fitting, especially as Subaru picked it out. He trusts his judgment, after all.
Galactic Baseballer Jr. — soon "Anko," starts jumping in excitement and emitting a bright, flowery aura. It seems to like the name, too. ]
[ Subaru's mistake is kneeling down. Now, after being patted, Anko is encouraged to get more of his attention. So a second later, the little cake cat leaps, and its soft, pudgy mass lands right into the onmyouji's arms. It lets out another pleased "myuu" and melts into those arms, with no intention of leaving, no matter what Caelus says. ]
Hmm.
[ 💢 … Whatever! Caelus is going to concentrate on his task. This is for Subaru's sake, so he has to finish it properly! At the very least, Caelus can listen to Subaru's explanation (therefore, hearing his lovely voice more), and he's content with that for now. ]
I hope that I can get to eat that sometime. It sounds delicious.
It's popular enough that we might have the chance to find some, someday.
[ As a baseline, nothing scavenged is all that fresh, even packaged, but the possibility isn't zero. There are so few of them that he's certain they haven't uncovered all that there is in a city as big and porous as this. Accepting the cat into his arms, he gives it a brief moment to gloat before lifting it to his shoulder and prompting it to take a seat there. Quietly, with an admonishing boop to its nose: ]
There. Behave, if you can. [ The Okay? is implicit, but seems to do the trick. Casting a glance now to the second bucket of vines, Subaru's expression leans thoughtful. ] If anything, seeing real plant life here has shifted the scale of what's possible...
[ Though he's not certain he'd like to experience something akin to the cathedral's beckoning every time, either. ]
For now, we can place them outside. If they really are Sleep's blessing, then what sunlight we have should be fine.
[ Subaru certainly knows how to uplift both of the trash-loving creatures in this room. Caelus smiles at the thought of eating anko (the sweet dessert) someday, then Anko (the trash cake cat) myuus in agreement, obediently following the onmyouji's instructions for it. Anko settles on Subaru's shoulder, gently walking around a little on it before curling up around his neck like a warm scarf.
Why is it so loyal to Subaru, even though its master is Caelus!?
The real answer is because Caelus's Artificer magic isn't stable yet, but he doesn't know this. In the future, any more homunculi will also be as rebellious, but they'll be more obedient to him once he has become stronger. ]
All right! These are done, so let me help you carry them.
[ Since Caelus's natural strength is impressive, he can carry heavier weights, and thus makes it upon himself to do most of the lifting. He follows Subaru outside, looking around for a nice, safe place to deposit the plants. ]
Maybe I should build a small greenhouse for you here sometime.
[ In time, with more exposure to the capabilities of Artificers, Subaru might gain insight on the trash cat's case of the rebellion blues. For now... well. He does make a very cute little scarf. And it's probably fine, to attribute a little misbehaving to simply being a baby.
On the way out to the front of the trailer, Subaru shakes his head. It would be a sight to see, but he wonders if the effort will bear enough fruit, both literally and figuratively. ]
If these vines survive, it could be a valuable asset to everyone here. Although I wonder if I'm here enough to tend to them right... I couldn't ask you to put in that much more work, in that case.
[ The trailblazer may not have tapped into his full magical potential, but he's no less an architect for the settlements they've been raising around the city. He is also a light, shaking loose the dust from the disused corners, transmuting what he touches for the better. Around the front door, there's a clear space where he's stacked an upside down milk crate. He spends much of his time outdoors, so if his observations are correct, they should catch the most light there. And as he indicates where Caelus can put them, his expression briefly flickers. ]
...is it really alright? For you to be lifting so much. Your injury still isn't healed fully.
[ It's in the care with which he moves, the intermittent says of bedrest keeping him from his typical travels. ]
Don't worry. Remember? I'm stronger than I look. And please, rely on me more— I'm a Trailblazer, after all. This is part of my mission. Even then… I love helping you, Subaru.
[ It's a tiny, happy reminder that Subaru did agree that time when Caelus said the first statement about being strong, back when they first met. It's been quite a while since then… Realizing that, Caelus makes a nostalgic smile as he laughs gently. ]
Time really passes, doesn't it? It feels like yesterday that I met you, but it's been two months…
[ Heading closer to the crate, Caelus carefully puts down the haul, making sure the plants are centered properly on it. His movements are a little slower than normal, but he looks fine for the most part. As long as he doesn't push himself too much, it'll be all right.
Wanting Subaru to worry less, Caelus decides to lighten the mood. ]
I'll tell you something. Mr. Sakurazuka is heavier than these plants!
[ As the plants slot into the spot he made for them by Caelus's capable hands, Subaru is left to think about the bridge of time and distance. Almost no time has passed at all in the scale of things, but the breadth of the experience has left it feeling long in his mind's eye. It's more time than he thought he had, at any rate.
More than he sometimes knows what to do with. And still... days like this are nice, likewise tinged in the soft tones of nostalgia. ]
Yes, it does. And you've been helping me since we met.
[ More than he likely knows. More than Subaru can explain. It's no small feat for someone who's entire lineage fell to him before his age hit the double digits. But his brief reverie stalls, instinctual. Whatever thought he'd almost gotten lost in fades. ]
...Seishirou-san is? [ His head cants as if he thinks he misheard. ] How do you know that?
[ Whether or not Subaru is conscious of this, Caelus wants to say it directly either way. Perhaps all those past words of gratitude helped the onmyouji realize it, but the trailblazer will never pass up chances to remind him of his appreciative feelings. This warmth is real, and he intends to keep it that way.
As the days pass, Caelus's determination to accomplish all he strives for only grows stronger. Seeing Subaru's lightened expression, looking so adorably curious, the younger one easily renews a radiant smile. ]
Also, I'm not the only one who wants this.
[ Rather than explain, it's easier to show him through their tether. How did Caelus know? And who else wants Caelus to be here?
So once the plants are nicely secured, he straightens up and connects their hands. Two hands holding another pair, he gives them a gentle squeeze before he thinks of that day. The memories flash for Subaru. The moment Caelus yells, "Watch out!", the memories are clear. A desperate, but successful escape. The brief bonding on the rooftop. The promise. ]
[ It's strange, how common words feel as if they carry the weight of the world when Caelus says them. Having traveled many — maybe they do. When beckoned, Subaru allows his pale hands to rest in Caelus's as a means of invoking their tether's conduit. Part of him is lost on what he should expect to see following that series of statements... but the tether draws clear most things, and this is no exception.
He almost can't believe his eyes.
Or at least the imprint of sight over his own, detailing the memory. Surprise gusts through him in several shades; not least of all thanks to the incessance of the moon creatures' hunt that Seishirou had tried to hide from him, but the ensuing row, the pipe, the bat, the viscera and the howling, the unceremonious toss that lands the man of his dreams and of his nightmares across the roof of a building like a bug on a windshield. Subaru is somewhat glad he doesn't have to imagine it, because he doesn't think he could on his own. But oh, he knows. Exactly what thoughts prowled the narcotic edges of the Sakurazukamori's sterling propriety in that moment. Instinctively, he tightens his fingers.
Only the following conversation staunches the flow of his emotions. Please look after him. It lances through him with the alacrity of lightning, an anxious static blooming across the back of his neck. The connection shivers with it, shies, knotting the fibers of his heart into a daisy chain of unanswered inquiry. ...Is he always the last to know? What measures Sakurazuka Seishirou will take to close his fist around the hollow of his heart and claim it only when it's too late?
Irony. A brilliance calculated by one of the most skilled onmyouji of their time. Sumeragi Subaru has always been one step behind the Sakurazukamori.
Memories seethe through the gentle cracks, but none quite manifest. Not the Kamui wearing the face of Monou Fuuma. Not the last wish now made second-to-last. Not here, in the wake of sunlight and blessings. Something seems to burn alive on the backs of his hands, but Subaru's skin remains smooth, unbroken. ]
...I see. [ Slowly, as if his tongue is suddenly ill-fit to his mouth. But he finds the strength this time, grip fortifying. ] Thank you, Caelus. For protecting him.
[ The torrent of emotions, Caelus expected them, so he manages to brace himself when it all crashes across the two of them. He won't pretend he understands anything between these two, because he doesn't. He's even more confused after seeing Subaru's memories at the cathedral that crimson night. Because those were obviously not pleasant memories in any way, yet… what is this feeling mixed along their tether? It's complicated, so much so, that the trailblazer can't pinpoint what emotions are present and exactly how many.
But Caelus doesn't need to. He can tell enough that these two are so, so lonely. And they care so much for each other, but they somehow can't extend that properly at all. There's nothing that Caelus can really do but be there. To be right here. That's what he'll continue to do without faltering. To protect these two souls, to give them the chance he promised… Perhaps one day, this uncertain torrent of emotions will transform into something else. So he steps closer to end the remaining distance between them.
Mindful of Anko, Caelus wraps his arms around Subaru's shoulders as he embraces him tightly, squeezing with all his spirit. Perhaps finally, he did manage to repay one part of this delicate onmyouji's neverending kindness. ]
Subaru, you are incredibly loved. I hope you don't diminish that from your heart.
[ His tether flares, fades back. Subaru's grip on his composure whispers over it like warm steel and presses it low again. Just out of reach.
It's obscured not by choice, but by the gentle, undiscriminating opaqueness of his own heart.
He is... loved. Doubt scrawls itself in ink-hues over the sound of his blood as it pulses, hot with fear, in his ears. He is loved, he thinks. He thinks it, over and over. He thinks its meaning, its misunderstanding, what it signifies to be here in the aftermath of it. He no longer hopes, having what he most sought pushed into his hands in a wasting moment of utter destruction. Also a brilliance calculated by the ephemeral heart of a jealous, jealous man. Subaru is loved in ways he doesn't understand for himself; what he does understand is that Sakurazuka Seishirou means to wield Caelus against him in his vast, unerring capacity for hope. Hope enough for the stars.
Arms coming around his shoulders makes him jolt slightly, out from the thoughts he coils like a serpent's scales at the bottom of his soul. Exhaling softly, he gives himself to the strength of Caelus's embrace for a moment, his much softer grip steadied on his sides. If he can just leave it at that... it's better, he thinks.
Anko shuffles on his shoulders, prompting him to pull away slightly. Hands soft on him for a moment, Subaru pushes, the ghost of a movement. ]
We should get you back inside. I'll make you some tea.
[ The fading of the connection, the sharp hesitation, the motion of an obvious doubt, the lack of response… The nail in the coffin is stepping away, being pushed. The cruel combination of everything causes Caelus's heart to tighten, his eyes widening slightly in intense concern and loneliness. It hurts. He never thought Subaru would be this much withdrawn.
Of course, he's aware it wouldn't be easy. He was prepared for it. But this much? Was everything Caelus built from the start all just… an illusion? He thought he was going somewhere. Maybe this is his own fault. What could he have done better? He should've been more patient… Should he persist? But what if doing so will make it worse? For now, maybe he should… should follow Subaru's instructions quietly.
Even if his heart is screaming something else. He tries to smile, coming out a little awkwardly, but still sincerely. ]
… Ah, yes. All right.
[ Anko trembles again, but makes no move to leave. Seemingly knows what Caelus really wants to do, so it stays right where it is. Close, right on Subaru. Caelus follows the two inside, his hands closing into tight grips. ]
[ It ripples in his peripherals, hazy and loud, as if something detonated behind his eyes — and it had. Love and Sakurazuka and — mori, his feverish mind supplies. Even as he moves back inside with his typical pace and poise, going so far as to lift a hand to soothe at Anko's shivering, there's something he's focusing on blinking back. Whatever has rooted in his heart and blossomed violently at the mention sows possession and conflict in a way that even his tether can't properly convey.
There is something else in there with him, always. Prowling, strong, fated. His equilibrium shifts with invisible memory, with the falling reminders, and only when his actions seem to settle back in his body, the pot of water, the cup, the tea, does Subaru's tether thump uneasily back to the surface.
Sensations float over it like the colors of an oil spill, refusing to mix in the brief interlude of connection; those colors are Caelus's hurt, the spark of loneliness that might ignite it.
It's not precisely guilt and not precisely sorrow that he feels. It is... acknowledgement, tender in the recesses of his overused heart. ]
It's not your fault.
Spoiler warning for Amphoreus going onward (canon updating)
[ As Caelus observes Subaru's gestures, his head suddenly starts to pound. It comes with no warning. He squints his eyes, trying to focus his vision on the figure of the person that matters so much to him, but it's not working. His vision gradually splits, seeing the onmyouji's body fade right before his eyes. His golden eyes dim, the room spins, and the last thing he witnesses is the floor.
Caelus loses consciousness with half-open eyes, the light within them gone. The slam to the floor is not kind, and the Stellaron within his chest bursts with a golden glow, pulsing over and over. Anko lets out a distressed mewl, repeating the same cry as its trembling worsens.
"… Do you think you can try, Subaru? I wonder if you can calm it as well, if needed."
"If it comes to that, I'll try."
For you.
Physically, it doesn't seem like Caelus is breathing, but he's alive. His tether is alive, just… somewhere else. Somewhere so far away, beyond anyone's reach at this moment. Should Subaru attempt to communicate with that tether, he'll be taken along into those distant dreams. A dream of a fallen planet far beyond Earth.
Amphoreus.
The sound of book pages being turned can be heard somewhere on the horizon. A girl's voice will echo, saying, "My Darling… My Deliverer… Over here." With one turn towards the voice, her silhouette will be there, waiting. She reaches her hand out, beckoning. Subaru stands in this strange space, alone at first, but Caelus's figure soon appears. He runs past the onmyouji, seemingly unable to see him. Subaru is now a dreamwalker once more, here to witness it all as the book pages turn. ]
[ It always comes to that. His breath catches, sensitivities flaying his reservations raw.
Something flares in the comfortable confines of this place that isn't home but sometimes feels it. It nearly happens against a plane of time that isn't the one they occupy — it draws long and echoing. It reaches through and it slows the painful thump that sears through their tether, the dim flutter of gold that rolls back until it takes him. Caelus's fall rattles the walls of his home and his heart. Instantly, his emotions disappear back into the inscrutable well of his heart so that all else guiding him can resurface into the strong, fluid tether they share. Moonlight shearing bright because of the will of the sun. ]
Caelus?
[ Action, because the price of inaction comes at a cost too steep to bear. Subaru barely has time to breathe his name before one swift movement takes him to his knees at the trailblazer's side. One hand steadies on his cheek to hold his head up, the other presses down on the golden light of his Stellaron leaking from his chest. He steels, magic burning on his palm, invoked with such power that ink winds up his arms in bold, runic strokes. ]
Caelus! Can you hear me?
[ But nothing comes. Not even breathing. Only the presence of their tether gives Subaru any indication that he is alive, but in his effort to grip it and follow it through to wherever he's gone, gentleness seared by dread, it plunges him into —
Not his soul. But a dream.
He inhales quietly as Caelus, alive, goes running past him. Relief floods him, colliding with his curiosity as he wheels around to look in the direction that he takes.
[ Static. The sounds of turning pages. The sounds of soft whirring, sharp clicking. Question. "What is the prime mover of life?"
The voice that asked is distorted, so it's impossible to tell what the person is like. The voice seems everywhere at once, but always seems to be whispering right into Subaru's ears. A short laugh follows.
"The answer is… Destruction. The fear of Destruction keeps life moving forward."
The girl in the horizon makes a sad expression. But once Caelus reaches her, the girl's smile is renewed. The silhouettes of the two disappear shortly, and then a series of flashes begin.
"33,550,337 cycles. At the end of the 33,550,337th cycle, the death of a God will finally occur!"
The memories of this tragic planet are nothing but a series of recurring deaths. This is all to perfect the equation of Destruction: "Eternal Recurrence." To earn the gaze of the Aeon of Destruction. Following that, it's to birth the Lord Ravager, Irontomb, into the waking universe. In order to kill that particular God.
And so, over and over again, Subaru is subjected to witnessing the cycle of destruction. The early cycles start small— petty crimes, unfortunate murders. But as the numbers grow, the destruction worsens. Famines, pandemics… And more. Wars, genocides. The people have never stopped suffering— their tears never dry. Their voices never stop echoing. Despite everything, they've never given up. They keep standing up, moving on to continue living. They get stronger at every new cycle.
Stronger, and stronger. Destruction is the prime mover of life, just like that voice said. That voice returns again, sounding amused, clapping in the distance as if they're merely an audience. And this is all just a show.
"Oh, it appears there's an unfamiliar face here. But you're just a lost soul, aren't you? You can't do anything but watch." The voice reveals itself finally, underneath a spotlight. A strange entity stands there, staring at Subaru with a sharp, cold curiosity. It's the complete opposite of Caelus's innocent curiosity. Not the gaze of someone who wishes to connect with someone wholeheartedly, but instead, the gaze of someone who looks at the subject like a common lab rat.
To be studied, then discarded. Just like this planet, Amphoreus.
"No matter. You can't interfere, so might as well make yourself comfortable… And witness the end to this story!" ]
[ A path of destruction never starts with the grandeur of a finale. No, it starts with the blight of misunderstanding, with sins born from desperation stretched to their limit. Subaru has lived but one single lifetime and yet that knowledge touches him all the same — the debt that causes parents to take the lives of their children, the corruption that stains the houses of whole bloodlines, the will to summon a dangerous demon for vengeance. People curse their gods as a means of control, curse each other as collateral. War, famine, a planet in ruin. It all starts so very small, and he thinks no one person is ever meant to bear the cycle from start to finish.
In his one lifetime, he sees this similar path in its infancy.
To witness it millions upon millions of times... he can't look away, nor can he seem to bear it. Knowing a forest burned to the ground will rise anew from the fertile soil doesn't ease the pain of the loss, of all that died in it. It doesn't protect it from that same fate.
His heart aches with a sensation too vast for him to contain it in, cut through only by the voice that singles him out in this dream. Subaru's expression steels and he doesn't look away; he isn't afraid of whatever entity it is that greets him, taunting and sure. He knows he doesn't belong. He's no Dreamseer, no traveler of the stars. Only his thunderous, unyielding connection to Caelus keeps him here. And whatever this dream and the tether that guides him through it mean to show him, he will watch for him and not simply out of an inability to do nothing.
Even if he can only look on. Even if there's nothing his two hands can do to save the planet as its revolutions wheel on and on, towards ruin every time.
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no subject
Opting to keep the note where it is for now, Subaru indicates the small cabinet above the stairs that leads into the bedroom. ]
— thank you, those doors there. You can set it on the top shelf.
[ He's going to prepare another bucket, meanwhile...
The interior of the tiny closet space isn't much to look at either, aside from a half-empty carton of cigarettes, some clothing items, the decorative box Aventurine left him, and an old cup full of various writing utensils. ]
no subject
Hey. [ "Muni?" ] Don't "what?" me. Come out of there.
[ "Munimuni. Muu. Myuyu." ]
No! That's not— [ "Myu, myuu!" ] I said n— no! Don't laugh at me! Anyway, I said to come out.
[ The cake cat ignores him… It's making itself right at home in that cabinet, causing the trailblazer to make a "I can't believe this little punk" face. Caelus has to really reach into the cabinet to reach and pull out the cake cat, which lets out some whining afterward. He sets the cat on the floor after, allowing it to play elsewhere than to curl up on Subaru's clean clothes…
Once the cat starts rolling around Subaru's floor to explore the space, Caelus returns to the older man's side and smiles nervously. A bit embarrassed. ]
Sorry about him. Galactic Baseballer Jr. likes to break the rules. I'm actually surprised by how well-behaved he is when you held him earlier! He never sits still like that for me.
no subject
[ Briefly, Subaru and Galactic Baseballer Jr. meet each other's eyes. He smiles a bit. ]
Isn't that so?
[ He watches it puff its body up proudly before leaving it to its adventuring. ]
You made him? [ Subaru turns his attention back to the task, turning the faucet on to wet the soil. ] He has your magical signature.
no subject
You should have seen him after he was born. He messed up my room and ate some of my precious materials. Punk!
[ He worked hard to collect those! What is he going to do now? He'll have to start all over again to find more. But he can't roam around too much yet, since he's still on the way to full recovery. He's still on the therapy part, trying to move his muscles a little more (through these walks) so they can recover better… He'll have to wait to restock. ]
Ah, but yes! I did. It seems this is part of my new abilities as well.
Galactic Baseballer Jr. isn't my original creation, though; I have a biologist friend from my universe who designed these creatures. But I know their DNA structures because I work as her assistant, I have created more of them to increase their population, and also further developed them from their original forms.
[ Caelus is impressed that Subaru can tell easily from a glance, but it makes sense that he can. Subaru's really talented as a spellcaster! Galactic Baseballer Jr. is also impressed, so it rolls over to the onmyouji's feet and starts fondly rubbing itself against them, purring audibly. ]
You think Galactic Baseballer Jr. is too long a name? I'm trying to think of a nickname for him. Galaxy? Baseballer? … Baller?
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Babies do tend to navigate with their mouths. [ Uncertain of what something is? Into the maw it goes. Subaru regards its purring kindly. ] Aren't all things that are just born going to want to eat and grow? Even if it's unfortunate for your collection...
[ whose side is this guy on?? — anyway...
Subaru picks up one of the vining stalks and hands it to Caelus to plant. ]
You probably shouldn't call it Baller. [ His opinion is purely professional. ] He looks like a dessert, though. What about drawing inspiration from that?
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[ That's true, huh? … Caelus is suddenly making a "Σ(° □ ° ˶)" face, looking quite guilty. Guess who shoved weird stuff in his own mouth after awakening for the first time? There were so many things that fascinated this space raccoon on his activation day!
But then it shortly turns into "(•̀ ⤙ •́ ˶)!!" face when Caelus realizes that Subaru's being biased!? for the cake cat!! Understandable, but still!? Can't stop him from being jealous of the cat. Little punk just got here today! For five minutes!
Galactic Baseballer Jr. keeps purring at Subaru's feet, but takes a short pause to look at Caelus. … "Munimuni. Myuu!" The trailblazer's eyes stare in disbelief after hearing the cat's words, but he attempts not to react. No, he can't look lame in front of Subaru. His heart is a calm leaf on still waters.
Calm. He gently receives the vining stalk to continue working quietly, trying to maintain a zen smile. But his tether is a different story, isn't it? That tether is inconveniently spilling how jealous he is right now. ]
What if I call him Mud Pie?
[ He's not serious. He's just pouting. ]
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(But he isn't kicking the cat off his feet, either.) ]
How about Anko? Or Sesame.
[ So serious, on the other hand. Too serious. ]
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[ The trailblazer has yet to eat food like that, since none of the planets he's been through so far are similar to Japan. But Caelus looks very interested, seems to be really considering "Anko" as a name. Whatever it is, he has a good feeling it's fitting, especially as Subaru picked it out. He trusts his judgment, after all.
Galactic Baseballer Jr. — soon "Anko," starts jumping in excitement and emitting a bright, flowery aura. It seems to like the name, too. ]
I guess he's Anko now, then.
[ "Myu, myuu!" It sounds so happy… ]
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Anko. [ He repeats. ] It's a popular sweet bean paste used to fill different kinds of cakes and breads. It seemed like it would be fitting.
[ If the near-constant purring and sparkling atmosphere didn't give it away... ]
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Hmm.
[ 💢 … Whatever! Caelus is going to concentrate on his task. This is for Subaru's sake, so he has to finish it properly! At the very least, Caelus can listen to Subaru's explanation (therefore, hearing his lovely voice more), and he's content with that for now. ]
I hope that I can get to eat that sometime. It sounds delicious.
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[ As a baseline, nothing scavenged is all that fresh, even packaged, but the possibility isn't zero. There are so few of them that he's certain they haven't uncovered all that there is in a city as big and porous as this. Accepting the cat into his arms, he gives it a brief moment to gloat before lifting it to his shoulder and prompting it to take a seat there. Quietly, with an admonishing boop to its nose: ]
There. Behave, if you can. [ The Okay? is implicit, but seems to do the trick. Casting a glance now to the second bucket of vines, Subaru's expression leans thoughtful. ] If anything, seeing real plant life here has shifted the scale of what's possible...
[ Though he's not certain he'd like to experience something akin to the cathedral's beckoning every time, either. ]
For now, we can place them outside. If they really are Sleep's blessing, then what sunlight we have should be fine.
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Why is it so loyal to Subaru, even though its master is Caelus!?
The real answer is because Caelus's Artificer magic isn't stable yet, but he doesn't know this. In the future, any more homunculi will also be as rebellious, but they'll be more obedient to him once he has become stronger. ]
All right! These are done, so let me help you carry them.
[ Since Caelus's natural strength is impressive, he can carry heavier weights, and thus makes it upon himself to do most of the lifting. He follows Subaru outside, looking around for a nice, safe place to deposit the plants. ]
Maybe I should build a small greenhouse for you here sometime.
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On the way out to the front of the trailer, Subaru shakes his head. It would be a sight to see, but he wonders if the effort will bear enough fruit, both literally and figuratively. ]
If these vines survive, it could be a valuable asset to everyone here. Although I wonder if I'm here enough to tend to them right... I couldn't ask you to put in that much more work, in that case.
[ The trailblazer may not have tapped into his full magical potential, but he's no less an architect for the settlements they've been raising around the city. He is also a light, shaking loose the dust from the disused corners, transmuting what he touches for the better. Around the front door, there's a clear space where he's stacked an upside down milk crate. He spends much of his time outdoors, so if his observations are correct, they should catch the most light there. And as he indicates where Caelus can put them, his expression briefly flickers. ]
...is it really alright? For you to be lifting so much. Your injury still isn't healed fully.
[ It's in the care with which he moves, the intermittent says of bedrest keeping him from his typical travels. ]
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[ It's a tiny, happy reminder that Subaru did agree that time when Caelus said the first statement about being strong, back when they first met. It's been quite a while since then… Realizing that, Caelus makes a nostalgic smile as he laughs gently. ]
Time really passes, doesn't it? It feels like yesterday that I met you, but it's been two months…
[ Heading closer to the crate, Caelus carefully puts down the haul, making sure the plants are centered properly on it. His movements are a little slower than normal, but he looks fine for the most part. As long as he doesn't push himself too much, it'll be all right.
Wanting Subaru to worry less, Caelus decides to lighten the mood. ]
I'll tell you something. Mr. Sakurazuka is heavier than these plants!
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More than he sometimes knows what to do with. And still... days like this are nice, likewise tinged in the soft tones of nostalgia. ]
Yes, it does. And you've been helping me since we met.
[ More than he likely knows. More than Subaru can explain. It's no small feat for someone who's entire lineage fell to him before his age hit the double digits. But his brief reverie stalls, instinctual. Whatever thought he'd almost gotten lost in fades. ]
...Seishirou-san is? [ His head cants as if he thinks he misheard. ] How do you know that?
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[ Whether or not Subaru is conscious of this, Caelus wants to say it directly either way. Perhaps all those past words of gratitude helped the onmyouji realize it, but the trailblazer will never pass up chances to remind him of his appreciative feelings. This warmth is real, and he intends to keep it that way.
As the days pass, Caelus's determination to accomplish all he strives for only grows stronger. Seeing Subaru's lightened expression, looking so adorably curious, the younger one easily renews a radiant smile. ]
Also, I'm not the only one who wants this.
[ Rather than explain, it's easier to show him through their tether. How did Caelus know? And who else wants Caelus to be here?
So once the plants are nicely secured, he straightens up and connects their hands. Two hands holding another pair, he gives them a gentle squeeze before he thinks of that day. The memories flash for Subaru. The moment Caelus yells, "Watch out!", the memories are clear. A desperate, but successful escape. The brief bonding on the rooftop. The promise. ]
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[ It's strange, how common words feel as if they carry the weight of the world when Caelus says them. Having traveled many — maybe they do. When beckoned, Subaru allows his pale hands to rest in Caelus's as a means of invoking their tether's conduit. Part of him is lost on what he should expect to see following that series of statements... but the tether draws clear most things, and this is no exception.
He almost can't believe his eyes.
Or at least the imprint of sight over his own, detailing the memory. Surprise gusts through him in several shades; not least of all thanks to the incessance of the moon creatures' hunt that Seishirou had tried to hide from him, but the ensuing row, the pipe, the bat, the viscera and the howling, the unceremonious toss that lands the man of his dreams and of his nightmares across the roof of a building like a bug on a windshield. Subaru is somewhat glad he doesn't have to imagine it, because he doesn't think he could on his own. But oh, he knows. Exactly what thoughts prowled the narcotic edges of the Sakurazukamori's sterling propriety in that moment. Instinctively, he tightens his fingers.
Only the following conversation staunches the flow of his emotions. Please look after him. It lances through him with the alacrity of lightning, an anxious static blooming across the back of his neck. The connection shivers with it, shies, knotting the fibers of his heart into a daisy chain of unanswered inquiry. ...Is he always the last to know? What measures Sakurazuka Seishirou will take to close his fist around the hollow of his heart and claim it only when it's too late?
Irony. A brilliance calculated by one of the most skilled onmyouji of their time. Sumeragi Subaru has always been one step behind the Sakurazukamori.
Memories seethe through the gentle cracks, but none quite manifest. Not the Kamui wearing the face of Monou Fuuma. Not the last wish now made second-to-last. Not here, in the wake of sunlight and blessings. Something seems to burn alive on the backs of his hands, but Subaru's skin remains smooth, unbroken. ]
...I see. [ Slowly, as if his tongue is suddenly ill-fit to his mouth. But he finds the strength this time, grip fortifying. ] Thank you, Caelus. For protecting him.
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But Caelus doesn't need to. He can tell enough that these two are so, so lonely. And they care so much for each other, but they somehow can't extend that properly at all. There's nothing that Caelus can really do but be there. To be right here. That's what he'll continue to do without faltering. To protect these two souls, to give them the chance he promised… Perhaps one day, this uncertain torrent of emotions will transform into something else. So he steps closer to end the remaining distance between them.
Mindful of Anko, Caelus wraps his arms around Subaru's shoulders as he embraces him tightly, squeezing with all his spirit. Perhaps finally, he did manage to repay one part of this delicate onmyouji's neverending kindness. ]
Subaru, you are incredibly loved. I hope you don't diminish that from your heart.
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It's obscured not by choice, but by the gentle, undiscriminating opaqueness of his own heart.
He is... loved. Doubt scrawls itself in ink-hues over the sound of his blood as it pulses, hot with fear, in his ears. He is loved, he thinks. He thinks it, over and over. He thinks its meaning, its misunderstanding, what it signifies to be here in the aftermath of it. He no longer hopes, having what he most sought pushed into his hands in a wasting moment of utter destruction. Also a brilliance calculated by the ephemeral heart of a jealous, jealous man. Subaru is loved in ways he doesn't understand for himself; what he does understand is that Sakurazuka Seishirou means to wield Caelus against him in his vast, unerring capacity for hope. Hope enough for the stars.
Arms coming around his shoulders makes him jolt slightly, out from the thoughts he coils like a serpent's scales at the bottom of his soul. Exhaling softly, he gives himself to the strength of Caelus's embrace for a moment, his much softer grip steadied on his sides. If he can just leave it at that... it's better, he thinks.
Anko shuffles on his shoulders, prompting him to pull away slightly. Hands soft on him for a moment, Subaru pushes, the ghost of a movement. ]
We should get you back inside. I'll make you some tea.
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Of course, he's aware it wouldn't be easy. He was prepared for it. But this much? Was everything Caelus built from the start all just… an illusion? He thought he was going somewhere. Maybe this is his own fault. What could he have done better? He should've been more patient… Should he persist? But what if doing so will make it worse? For now, maybe he should… should follow Subaru's instructions quietly.
Even if his heart is screaming something else. He tries to smile, coming out a little awkwardly, but still sincerely. ]
… Ah, yes. All right.
[ Anko trembles again, but makes no move to leave. Seemingly knows what Caelus really wants to do, so it stays right where it is. Close, right on Subaru. Caelus follows the two inside, his hands closing into tight grips. ]
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There is something else in there with him, always. Prowling, strong, fated. His equilibrium shifts with invisible memory, with the falling reminders, and only when his actions seem to settle back in his body, the pot of water, the cup, the tea, does Subaru's tether thump uneasily back to the surface.
Sensations float over it like the colors of an oil spill, refusing to mix in the brief interlude of connection; those colors are Caelus's hurt, the spark of loneliness that might ignite it.
It's not precisely guilt and not precisely sorrow that he feels. It is... acknowledgement, tender in the recesses of his overused heart. ]
It's not your fault.
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Caelus loses consciousness with half-open eyes, the light within them gone. The slam to the floor is not kind, and the Stellaron within his chest bursts with a golden glow, pulsing over and over. Anko lets out a distressed mewl, repeating the same cry as its trembling worsens.
"… Do you think you can try, Subaru? I wonder if you can calm it as well, if needed."
"If it comes to that, I'll try."
For you.
Physically, it doesn't seem like Caelus is breathing, but he's alive. His tether is alive, just… somewhere else. Somewhere so far away, beyond anyone's reach at this moment. Should Subaru attempt to communicate with that tether, he'll be taken along into those distant dreams. A dream of a fallen planet far beyond Earth.
Amphoreus.
The sound of book pages being turned can be heard somewhere on the horizon. A girl's voice will echo, saying, "My Darling… My Deliverer… Over here." With one turn towards the voice, her silhouette will be there, waiting. She reaches her hand out, beckoning. Subaru stands in this strange space, alone at first, but Caelus's figure soon appears. He runs past the onmyouji, seemingly unable to see him. Subaru is now a dreamwalker once more, here to witness it all as the book pages turn. ]
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Something flares in the comfortable confines of this place that isn't home but sometimes feels it. It nearly happens against a plane of time that isn't the one they occupy — it draws long and echoing. It reaches through and it slows the painful thump that sears through their tether, the dim flutter of gold that rolls back until it takes him. Caelus's fall rattles the walls of his home and his heart. Instantly, his emotions disappear back into the inscrutable well of his heart so that all else guiding him can resurface into the strong, fluid tether they share. Moonlight shearing bright because of the will of the sun. ]
Caelus?
[ Action, because the price of inaction comes at a cost too steep to bear. Subaru barely has time to breathe his name before one swift movement takes him to his knees at the trailblazer's side. One hand steadies on his cheek to hold his head up, the other presses down on the golden light of his Stellaron leaking from his chest. He steels, magic burning on his palm, invoked with such power that ink winds up his arms in bold, runic strokes. ]
Caelus! Can you hear me?
[ But nothing comes. Not even breathing. Only the presence of their tether gives Subaru any indication that he is alive, but in his effort to grip it and follow it through to wherever he's gone, gentleness seared by dread, it plunges him into —
Not his soul. But a dream.
He inhales quietly as Caelus, alive, goes running past him. Relief floods him, colliding with his curiosity as he wheels around to look in the direction that he takes.
Pages... paper. A tool of creation. ]
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The voice that asked is distorted, so it's impossible to tell what the person is like. The voice seems everywhere at once, but always seems to be whispering right into Subaru's ears. A short laugh follows.
"The answer is… Destruction. The fear of Destruction keeps life moving forward."
The girl in the horizon makes a sad expression. But once Caelus reaches her, the girl's smile is renewed. The silhouettes of the two disappear shortly, and then a series of flashes begin.
"33,550,337 cycles. At the end of the 33,550,337th cycle, the death of a God will finally occur!"
The memories of this tragic planet are nothing but a series of recurring deaths. This is all to perfect the equation of Destruction: "Eternal Recurrence." To earn the gaze of the Aeon of Destruction. Following that, it's to birth the Lord Ravager, Irontomb, into the waking universe. In order to kill that particular God.
And so, over and over again, Subaru is subjected to witnessing the cycle of destruction. The early cycles start small— petty crimes, unfortunate murders. But as the numbers grow, the destruction worsens. Famines, pandemics… And more. Wars, genocides. The people have never stopped suffering— their tears never dry. Their voices never stop echoing. Despite everything, they've never given up. They keep standing up, moving on to continue living. They get stronger at every new cycle.
Stronger, and stronger. Destruction is the prime mover of life, just like that voice said. That voice returns again, sounding amused, clapping in the distance as if they're merely an audience. And this is all just a show.
"Oh, it appears there's an unfamiliar face here. But you're just a lost soul, aren't you? You can't do anything but watch." The voice reveals itself finally, underneath a spotlight. A strange entity stands there, staring at Subaru with a sharp, cold curiosity. It's the complete opposite of Caelus's innocent curiosity. Not the gaze of someone who wishes to connect with someone wholeheartedly, but instead, the gaze of someone who looks at the subject like a common lab rat.
To be studied, then discarded. Just like this planet, Amphoreus.
"No matter. You can't interfere, so might as well make yourself comfortable… And witness the end to this story!" ]
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In his one lifetime, he sees this similar path in its infancy.
To witness it millions upon millions of times... he can't look away, nor can he seem to bear it. Knowing a forest burned to the ground will rise anew from the fertile soil doesn't ease the pain of the loss, of all that died in it. It doesn't protect it from that same fate.
His heart aches with a sensation too vast for him to contain it in, cut through only by the voice that singles him out in this dream. Subaru's expression steels and he doesn't look away; he isn't afraid of whatever entity it is that greets him, taunting and sure. He knows he doesn't belong. He's no Dreamseer, no traveler of the stars. Only his thunderous, unyielding connection to Caelus keeps him here. And whatever this dream and the tether that guides him through it mean to show him, he will watch for him and not simply out of an inability to do nothing.
Even if he can only look on. Even if there's nothing his two hands can do to save the planet as its revolutions wheel on and on, towards ruin every time.
And so, he waits for the end. ]
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