[ It flutters on the edge of the storm, unwilling to be forgotten: another year yet approaches. The house he was born in, dancing red, wet, alive, alive. ]
Having taken the world, the emperor weeps there is nothing left to conquer. ( Amused, maybe. But indulgent. ) The core of your practice is too rooted in yang.
Subaru-kun, your family circumstances being what they were, I won't hold this against you. But the truth is, you never learned how to treat a woman.
In fact, romance is entirely dead, and you should always lead with your most practical consideration. Whether it's your wage, your career, your advancement prospects or other personal services you can provide. That's what gets a modern heart going.
[ (ooc. this is for whatever night he stayed with Caelus at the hotel after the fight with Charlotte!)In the morning outside the door of whatever room Subaru is in, he'll find a small decorative box. there is a tag on top with his last name in English and a simple note on the back of 'thank you,' as well, with a little doodle of a small cartoon raccoon holding its paws in the air with heart emojis.
it's signed by Aventurine, also in English. (He is hoping the other can read English because after asking like one or two people who speak Japanese and getting a mini lecture on the potential kanji differences of names, he decided English was so much easier.)
Unfortunately, that's the best Aventurine can express on paper here, but in the box will be carefully placed talisman papers from one of the shrines on the island, each one meticulously placed in the thin transparent wrappers finished ofuda are sold at shrines in usually. there's maybe 50 sheets or so in total, so not a ton as Aventurine went through a lot to pick out the nicest and best preserved he could find for making the little gift. It includes a calligraphy brush, a calligraphy pen, a (very) small vial of sealed black ink, and a...hello kitty pen because not everyone's perfect and it's in case of emergency since he doesn't even know if Subaru needs a writing utensil to make use of the paper. ( In his defense it writes really well!)
he also has placed a small business card that's a little bit beat up, but still very legible, and tucked in there for the shrine that he found the items at, in case Subaru needs other supplies or whatnot that might useful to him. ]
[ Some time after Subaru takes his leave of the hotel, it will receive another visitor: a white-winged bird, no bigger than a finch. (But just as fat.) Papery and soft, it carries the faint mark of a Token's magic, the cherished black of the ink used to create it tucked neatly into its feathers.
When one of the residents leaves the hotel for scouting or supplies, it follows on silent wings, using birdsong to signal where passages through the city are safest. When threats are near, it lands in warning to go no further.
It remains active so long as nothing destroys it. (And is content to roost on the hotel's awning when not in use.) ]
[ It's been more or less a week since Subaru stayed at the hotel. Between continuing his exploration of the huge city, Caelus also maintained his habit of visiting his friends and checking on everyone. Naturally, Subaru is among the list, especially as Caelus never forgot the fact that his dear friend had been constantly sleeping outdoors for a while.
Considering the Sundowning's continued effects, it's natural for him to worry. That's why he decided to start a side project that he's been working on for the entire week. He finally finished it today, and he's excited to present it. Thus, using the tether, he calls out— ]
[ Subaru likes to be moving. His apartment in Shinjuku felt like a matter of formality at many points — a place for his phone he never answered, for his work contracts to gather in the formalized net of his answering machine. Bereft of life, wreathed in smoke, perforated by the city's lights through half-drawn curtains. There were so few things he was attached to there, all of them preserved by memory.
He hasn't much had the heart to call anyplace home in this city, either. But he's dutiful and the tether thrums with the soft stability of his answer: ]
[ As a traveler of universes, a Nameless, Caelus can certainly understand the feelings of those constantly on the move. That's why he didn't push when Subaru didn't seem interested in settling in one particular location, and why this particular idea eventually came to him. It seems to be a good solution in Caelus's head! Though this solution is actually incomplete even in its "finished" state…
Regardless, Caelus wants to see if Subaru is willing to try it. When Subaru's soft voice comes forth, Caelus is unable to stop his smile. He doesn't think he'll ever tire of hearing this comforting voice. ]
Oh, I'm okay! I just wanted to show you something. If you're free, can you come to this location?
[ Sending him the coordinates through the tether… ]
[ No way… For several seconds, Caelus is almost stunned. He feels as if he imagined that, but of course, it's real. It's not the first time he's felt or seen Subaru's smile, but that just now… It felt very different that he simply stops. After catching himself again, he clears his mind.
After Subaru's confirmation, Caelus patiently waits at the mentioned location, silently appreciating the short conversation in his head. If only he could've seen it right in front of him. ]
[ Subaru doesn't idle, but neither does he rush. He was already out and about, as he usually is, scrying meaning from the cracked maw of the city they inhabit. He's always more focused on the nature of the violence it endured during the moon's fall, in the monstrous florals, the poetry and song seemingly scorched into the fabric of this reality. It's as if the entire thing sits cradled in the hands of a ghost.
But, as those around him are so colorfully reminding him, even in comfortable silence over the Murmur — it can't always be his focus.
His birds arrive at Caelus's location just before he does. Tiny, enchanted wisps of paper on dry wings, but still stronger and swifter than his last set as he grows accustomed to rune magic. They usually accompany him in the city in case of danger; one flutters low to land on the trailblazer's shoulder. It remains there until Subaru finally rounds the corner, hands in his coat pockets and scented faintly like smoke. ]
[ Instantly awed by the sight of flowing origami seemingly dancing, Caelus can't help but focus his eyes on the paper birds in flight. Their movements are so graceful, every flutter of wing reassembling leaves within autumn winds. He lets out a cheerful laugh when one of the birds introduces itself to him, moving a gentle finger to stroke the top of its head. ]
Little one, are you a friend of Subie?
[ Subie, the paper bird digilently guarding the hotel. Caelus gestures to the familiar friend with his other hand, the sight of it resting on a nearby rooftop. Though once Subaru arrives, the trailblazer turns in the direction of the precious one's voice with such radiant life. Here it is again, his recognizable warm energy, unchanged. ]
Hello! [ Lifting his hands, he uses both to wave several times, maintaining his expression as he does. ] Not at all. I have company, after all.
[ Seeing him is like a flood of warm water, a balm against the transgressions of the world that rises up around them. Immediately, some of the spiritual malaise that clings to Subaru lessens. His expression eases, in turn. ]
It's good that you didn't have to wait alone for long. [ As if responding to some silent magical cue, the bird takes flight again, wheeling upwards and over the buildings behind them to keep watch. Subaru tracks its movement briefly before his attention returns to Caelus. ] What was it that you wanted to show me?
[ The expression shift on Subaru affects those who see it without a doubt. At the very least, Caelus always is. Understanding what that really means for someone so subdued like this onmyoji, the trailblazer is always immensely humbled to witness every one of them. He will never take every sight of it for granted, always keeping it among his dearest memories as he observes every detail.
Every lovely color of Subaru's sides. Even if the world has yet to notice it, the trailblazer always will. Caelus closes in their distance and reconnects their hands, a cool wind seemingly encouraging his movement as he steps forward. He smiles once more, then pulls the beautiful onmyoji along with his excited motions. He takes him to a nearby parking lot, where this trailer is waiting.
The paint is recent, as Caelus had to refresh its dilapidated look. The plants are artificial, since he didn't want to place zombie plants around the house. The fairy lights are currently unlit, but there's unique wiring on them connected to a nearby device. He'll likely explain that eventually. There's a nice-sized campfire at the side, also unlit, but there's already some chopped firewood in it. ]
This! What do you think?
[ Considering its renovated state, it's undeniable who did it and who it's meant for. A person who is always on the move, a house just the same. Well, it obviously won't be moving anytime soon without a working car attached to it, but it opens up the option in the future. ]
[ Hand in hand, Subaru is content enough to follow Caelus's lead into the lot that sits square to a Chelsea neighborhood. Or what remains of it. The sight of the trailer is conspicuous in comparison to what the state of the city has otherwise accustomed him to — it's bright. His fingers briefly slack in wonder. Carefully, his gaze travels the trailer, noting the manner in which it's been preserved, cleaned, and detailed. It looks like an incredible amount of work went into its restoration, even without electricity. ]
It's amazing. [ He doesn't measure his words in saying so. It comes from the heart. ] You did all of this?
[ Normally, Caelus would be all over compliments. He's shameless, after all. But coming from someone like Subaru, someone so reserved, silent, yet so kind, the trailblazer feels an immediate reflex to keep his mouth shut. He's struggling to contain his smile, so he looks away for a short while to let it out. Pink blooms across his face as he looks into the horizon, releasing the positive energy elsewhere rather than throwing it all to Subaru.
But not all of it! Once most of the heavy blows have flown away, Caelus returns his gaze straight at Subaru and redirects that giddy smile. He raises both their connected hands, pressing the older man's palms against his own face, his own palms over them. Heat of that pink blush transfers easily to their layered hands, increasing the luminosity of this area. A trailer equally bright as its renovator. ]
[ Subaru stills when Caelus brings his hands to his face, pulse jumping. Though quiet, it's not often that he's at a loss for words. Even redirected, diffused by a conscious effort to not pressure him, he's so warm. Subaru has channeled the energies of earth and heaven alike. These hands have borne the will of the stars since he was old enough to speak the spells. He's wreathed flame, flumed water, cracked the earth, cut with winds. And yet... ]
You are... [ His hands press to his skin of his own accord, intent in the cool lay of his palms, growing ever-warmer. ] very special, Caelus.
[ He hopes he feels it. The reflected light that chases the loneliness in the corners away.
Grip slacking, he finally looks to the home he's made. ]
[ These delicate hands on his face, Caelus understands how much they've done. Subaru told the trailblazer before, that his burdens shouldn't be carried by him, but Caelus was quick to disagree.
"I'm not someone whose burdens you should shoulder."
"Everyone needs help now and then. All I want to do is make it a little easier for people."
This aside, Caelus is also doing it because he knows that Subaru deserves more. He doesn't know his background or his past, but it doesn't matter. Simply looking at this beautiful soul, it's not difficult to see why he should be treasured. Subaru, who always silently protects others…. Subaru, so dutiful, so hardworking, so gentle, so selfless… He more than earned at least one person there for him.
But Caelus does not doubt that Subaru has many people who love him. How can anyone not, after getting to know him, even a little? He has an overflowering charm that he doesn't even realize he has. So when he calls the trailblazer as someone special… Caelus can't help but laugh. The warmth intensifies, the lovely sensation of his cheery voice running through the other man's palms. ]
You are the special one.
[ Though these days, Subaru's aura does feel much softer than it already is. Caelus naturally noticed. After all, he's always watching over him. Just the same as Subaru and his paper birds. Lowering their hands, but remaining together, the trailblazer nods and leads the onmyoji into the trailer.
The interior has been renovated, too. The main room with the view of a small bedroom at the back and the connected open kitchen right beside it. The kitchen comes with a small sink (the trailer has a water tank that needs to be refilled time to time). The shelves are mostly empty, but there are a couple of canned goods and small food items like instant noodles as added tiny gifts. At the side, a small dining table by a portable fireplace. ]
Sorry, I'm not skilled enough yet to work on the bathroom, so there's nothing in there. [ pointing at the door next to the hallway leading to the bedroom ] You can use it as a closet or something, for now!
[ Special. Not different. Not unnormal. But special.
As Caelus leads him into and around the space, Subaru is left with the abundance of feelings that have long laid dormant and sedimentary at the bottom of his soul. It's almost... a little painful, to have this kind of warmth radiating at all the softened points of his demeanor. He'd steeled himself so long ago that he convinced himself there was no need for it, but the weld is poor. Gentleness still bleeds through the weak points.
Such thoughts drift through him even when he's dutifully taking note of everything Caelus accomplished. At the end of the tour, Subaru shakes his head, steadying his fingertips on the countertop thoughtfully. ]
No, you've done plenty with it. I couldn't ask for anything more than this.
[ It's then that his gaze rises to meet the trailblazer's. ]
It may be a little late for this, but there is something I can do. Jichinsai. Or, a groundbreaking ceremony.
[ The fleeting pain didn't go unnoticed within their peaceful connection, their tether. But Caelus can tell that it's something out of… loneliness. Perhaps something (… someone?) Subaru misses dearly. The trailblazer silently glances at the onmyoji's delicate face without making it obvious, observing his natural expressions as he takes in the new environment.
Despite Caelus's cheeriness, he does have his own buried loneliness as well, so he can still relate to those feelings… He hasn't seen the Astral Express in so long, as even before Manhattan, he was forced to remain in Amphoreus. He worries about so many people back home. Not only the people on the Express, but his friends in Amphoreus. How he wishes he could go and find everyone, but that journey will have to wait. For now, he will continue supporting the friends right beside him…
When Subaru moves his single lovely eye to meet Caelus's pair of golden ones, he meets them back with a bright determination. ]
[ So often he finds that their similarities resonate, something he feels echoing deep down without quite being able to reach it. Not because Caelus would stop him, he thinks... but he wonders if the trailblazer holds it back for his sake, afraid of shattering the glassy mirror they sometimes catch sight of each other through.
Subaru slips his hand more securely into Caelus's, fingers tightening. Recognition he doesn't give voice to, only the comfort of understanding. ]
I have paper. So... branches, rope or twine. Alcohol is also common, but I can use purified water in its place.
[ He steps away from the counter. ]
There's a park nearby we might be able to get the wood from.
[ There may be a mirror there, but it's still meaningful. Passing glances may seem like a lonely concept, but it's the beginning of something for someone like Caelus. After all, meeting eyes is a connection. That is one of the essences of trailblazing as well, seeking out a connection with those they meet. So whenever Subaru's gaze is against that mirror, Caelus will never fail to approach and beam out a smile right at him, letting him know he's there. He's here, close by, always listening.
Just as their hands squeeze together now. Caelus doesn't hesitate to tighten the warm touch, parrying away what lingering coldness there is in the possibly autumn air. They don't know the current season yet due to a lack of a way to verify the actual dates, but hopefully, they'll find out if it starts snowing soon enough. And if it does snow, Caelus will continue to provide warmth anytime. Maybe more than ever before. ]
Got it. Let's find our branch, then.
[ Though reluctant to part their hands, Caelus has to because of the tasks they'll be doing soon. So he slowly lets go, but not without another fond squeeze. Once his hands are freed, he reaches into his messenger bag to get something… A Swiss army knife he carries around. He releases the blade from it, ready to cut down their wood once they have it. ]
A lingering light-flash of a smile precedes his nod. Out of the trailer and back onto the streets crippled by Sleep's influence, Subaru leads the way down the block to the small park. He's only seen it in passing and he doesn't suppose they'll find any wood that's not entirety rotted by the strange fungal blooms that seem to affect all the flora, but he can make do. Even shifted to a power source that's not his, Subaru is confident in his skill.
Quiet for a stretch of time as they walk, he ventures: ]
[ Prepared for any scenario, a habit Caelus formed as a Trailblazer. Cumulative experiences from journeying constantly can do that to anyone. As they walk, Caelus falls temporarily quiet as well, gently breathing as small puffs of white mist escape him due to the cold air. His eyes look around, familiar enough with the forlorn scenery. After all, he's been coming here constantly for the past week to work on the trailer.
A passing thought to himself. He can't believe it's been almost a month since they arrived. Time always did move way too fast, sometimes. They all were certainly kept busy, dealing with strange events and adjusting to this unfamiliar city. But it wasn't all bad. After all, he's met so many wonderful people…
When Subaru speaks again, Caelus can't help but melt from hearing the question. He releases a small smile to himself as they walk. Then, he responds, concentrating like last time so he could get his original accent to come out. ]
[ Ceremony ]
Is that term earlier, Ji— chi— [ Sorry, he's struggling to say Japanese again… ] the word for it?
[ Having done most of his exploring and training on his own since arrival, there is a comfort to this. Something he didn't often get even in the sprawling metropolis of Tokyo — at least not anymore. Two sets of footsteps on the pavement, the soft sounds of someone simply being next to him as they walk. ]
Ceremony. [ It does take concentration on the syllables to say them aloud without their ambient connection shifting his language, but Subaru manages. ] Thank you, I think I can remember it.
[ As they enter the tiny park situated at the end of the block, Subaru doesn't immediately turn his attention to what trees remain. There's a playground in disrepair, most of it rusted and overgrown. A swingset remains, just across the sandbox. He glances at it, but ultimately ends up slowing to a stop to gesture for Caelus's hand instead. ]
Jichinsai is a specific ceremony. It's to bless the land something is built on. This... [ With one hand supporting Caelus's from the bottom, Subaru traces kanji onto his palm with his index finger. ] Gishiki. A ceremony. Or a sacred ritual.
[ Ah, here it is again. Caelus thought he's used to this by now. Will this person's beauty ever stop… Blessed with such looks, voice, heart, and personality, and soft moments like these, also display stunning gracefulness. It's mesmerizing to simply listen to Subaru talk, to witness his slender fingers move so slowly against his hand. The sensation is so…
It all causes Caelus to pause, doing his best to commit it all to memory. The characters are shown to him, drawn carefully. Maybe he won't be able to remember all the strokes of this kanji right away, but he exerts every effort to recall as much as he can. The terms taught to him as well. Everything, he wants to keep in his heart as treasures. ]
Jichin… sai. Gi… shi… ki.
[ Some leaves being carried by the wind pass them by. This abandoned park may have been forgotten by time, but with Subaru and Caelus here, creating new memories together, this park has now been remembered once more. ]
[ Language transmutes with his touch. It was in his blood as an onmyouji, it remains there as a runecaster, no matter how it's changed. Hands are the tools of prayer, the instruments with which people sow connection. Subaru believes that, even through the violence that's been enacted upon him — and by him, just before here.
Caelus's hands are warm, but now so are his.
This time, he traces the simpler shapes of kana onto his palm, punctuating each one with its syllable: ]
[ Though unused to the Japanese accent, Caelus is surely picking up. It comes with his ability to adapt as a trailblazer, a person who is always having new encounters. He has always been a fast learner. He takes a significant pause to memorize these as well, and when he does…
He says it, with the perfect tone, a high note of appreciation. The kind of pitch that no one can easily reach, not unless they're bursting with emotion like he is now. ]
[ There are so few bridges that connect Subaru to others in a lasting manner. He remembers everyone. He remembers every emotion that's ever come to him, in faith or fatuity, in heartbreak, elation, gratitude. He just never expects others to regard him the same way. But listening to the way that Caelus picks up on the language he shares in these tiny increments makes him think that this might really be one of those bridges, brilliant in its traversal, pleasant in pitch.
Subaru returns his hand to him in a serene slip of his fingers, but there's less finality in the motion than usual. ]
[ As Subaru is gently lowering their hands, just before their fingers separate, Caelus suddenly reconnects the grip. Similarly to earlier, when Subaru squeezed their hands tighter, Caelus does the same now. He wants him to know without a doubt that this feeling is unquestionably mutual. Whatever they share, they're all real, and they didn't need this tether to prove it.
He lifts his radiant gaze to him, giving him another smile as if the earlier ones were never enough. Which is true. They're just never enough. He can keep smiling for this person, always. With that, Caelus finally lets go and approaches the most stable-looking tree nearby. He gestures to it, indicating he's ready to proceed. ]
Do you need a thin branch, or does it have to be large?
[ With their task at hand, rising up over the ambient wash of interconnected feeling, so warm and sweet that it nearly manifests corporeal in his throat, Subaru follows Caelus to the chosen tree. It's not in great condition, but few things in this landscape often are. His gaze sweeps the branches, keen in spite of being halved. ]
Thin is fine. Two of the same length is preferable.
[ Subaru measures out a distance of around sixty centimeters with his hands. ]
Like this, [ He demonstrates. ] if the tree will be kind enough to help us.
[ After memorizing the length indicated, Caelus looks up at the zombified tree. Like the rest of the flora and fauna, everything looks quite unnatural, and this tree is no exception. Still, this tree lives on, though its leaves have already started to fall. He's not sure if it's because it's possibly autumn or if it's already beginning to wither away.
The branches near the bottom are too thick. The thinner ones are closer to the peak. Caelus reaches to test out the lower branches, trying to bend them. When they remain stable, he begins to climb the tree without hesitation. He doesn't want to overwhelm the branches with his weight despite their stability, so he makes his movements quick. He stands tall on a branch and then leaps constantly, parkouring his way to the top.
Once he's at the peak, he slices off two appropriate branches before hopping off, landing perfectly on his feet. He offers them to Subaru after straightening up. ]
[ Subaru remains at the foot of the tree while Caelus ascends it for what he needs, tracing the corruption in the branches, the sooted lung-like fibers of its reach. He can tell that the trailblazer is minding his steps, maybe for both the tree's sake and his own. He entertains laying his palm upon its trunk to see what permeates the rings of its age, but decides against it. Which is just as well when Caelus drops back down, graceful and sure in his landing. ]
Thank you. [ Subaru takes the branches, weighing them in his hands. ] These will work fine.
[ Branches in one hand, he extends the other, indicating the pocket knife. ]
[ A light smile. Of course. Caelus turns the pocket knife around so it's safe when he hands it over. He places the handle on Subaru's palm gently, the blade facing away.
He wonders what the onmyoji intends to do with the branches, but he supposes he'll see it now. Thinking about it, some of Subaru's arts remind Caelus of some friends of his from Xianzhou, particularly Hanya, who also works with ink and paper on her spells. ]
[ Subaru accepts the blade just as gratefully as Caelus is careful in handing it to him. Tucking one of the branches beneath his arm, he indicates that they can begin the walk back to the trailer. On the way, he gently whittles the end of the branch in his grasp. Beneath the strange shade and texture of the bark, the wood is remarkably normal.
White making a notch with the edge of the knife, Subaru's brows draw upwards in curiosity. ]
My work is similar. I'm an onmyouji. [ He pauses his knifework, steps slow. ] How do you know that?
[ Oh, another word Caelus doesn't know. He looks a little confused as they walk together again, retracing their steps back to the trailer. But his curiosity is evident about it, as well as the handiwork that Subaru is performing on the branch.
He lets out a quiet, amused laugh when he appears to have made an… almost correct guess? So it's not exactly an exorcist, though maybe it has overlapping roles? ]
I have a few friends who are exorcists, I met them through my travels in my universe. Some of the gestures you do sometimes remind me of them. You all have a very certain way of holding paper, for instance…
I see. [ So, Caelus noticed something familiar in how he creates and wields talismans. He swaps the prepared branch for the one tucked under his arm, moving slow and thoughtful, with purpose. It's not exactly hesitation, but more a natural deliberation on what words to choose, how to bring this vast part of himself to light. ] With how traveled you are, it stands to reason that you'd meet others in my trade.
[ Finishing the other branch, he clicks the pocket knife shut and offers it back to Caelus. ]
Exorcisms are one area of my work. Onmyoudo itself is a large school of magic that spans back hundreds of years in my home country. I can perform divinations, protection rituals, blessings... things of that nature.
[ Or — he could, before this. Working with runes hasn't been entirely dissimilar though. Comparatively, he's taken to Sleep's magic incredibly fast. ]
[ Accepting the item back, Caelus slides it back into his bag as he continues to walk alongside Subaru, listening to every word attentively. He's impressed after hearing the explanation, knowing this must be why his precious friend has such a disciplined mannerism. ]
That's amazing. That makes sense why you can perform the ceremony for the trailer.
[ Wait… ]
Hm? I thought we all lost our powers, coming here. Did you retain yours?
No, I didn't. [ He confirms. There's an undercurrent of conflict to those simple words, but he remains steady in spite of it. He holds his palm out in front of him, elegant fingers curled just so. ] This magic isn't my own.
[ Subaru is never the first to espouse his abilities. But with everything that Caelus has given to him, his unerring warmth and his deep-seated secrets pressed into the contours of his hands, he thinks he can explain without regret. ]
In many ways, onmyoudo is a magic of translation. Onmyouji translate energy, elements, the stars. I feel that whatever powers I gained by coming here are similar. There's a language I instinctively know, even if it's not complete. It's how I've been able to teach myself similar techniques.
[ A flicker of concern hits Caelus when he feels that momentary conflict. Did he accidentally say something he shouldn't have…? This is why he wanted to navigate carefully around Subaru, on wanting to be patient in getting to know him. After all, he's sensed a lonely aura from him before… A wounded soul that he's come to know, that he's so determined to heal, even through the smallest ways. Thankfully, Caelus didn't seem to need to worry too much, as Subaru shares his words with enough stability and calm.
Relief soon hits Caelus with that realization, so he's able to listen to everything without feeling guilty about it. In fact, he's honored to hear everything now, because it means Subaru decided to tell him despite whatever weighs him down about it. He takes every word to heart. ]
I understand. That's quite a coincidence, then.
[ Is it a good or bad thing? Caelus doesn't know, but it'll at least allow Subaru to adjust much better. So he can protect himself and others better. ]
What I received confounds me a little. I'm not sure what exactly it is, even now. Though I've begun to notice several things about it at least, unlike the last time I mentioned the topic to you.
[ Caelus is so careful around him. He feels it pulsing, aware, alive. As if the trailblazer is mapping him like his namesake constellation, as if he's capable of seeing its seventh star. That is the nature of connection to others, to lay fault lines bare knowing one could break open at any provocation, exposing the raw nerves aching beneath. That is the nature of tethers. But Caelus navigates them with such a reactive softness...
It's been difficult to remain on his guard. ]
You did mention that. How you weren't sure what was going to awaken in you. [ Briefly, he remembers the hue of his eyes. Like direct sunlight glowing off metal. It was so striking. ] Has something changed for you?
[ Though Caelus is being so gentle in approaching, there's also an irrefutable desire lingering in that tether to break through and hurriedly make his way to Subaru. But it's very subdued compared to his larger intent to remain patient. He knows to take his time, as acting selfishly will never lead him to true understanding with a person.
In fact, it may even cause the opposite effects that he wanted… The mere idea of that is heartbreaking. So he'll wait, no matter how long. He smiles a little when he proceeds to explain his findings, wanting to continue the good mood of their gentle conversation. ]
I don't know if anything changed specifically, but some strange things happened. There was a time I was looking through the luggage trolleys for hauling my scavenged items, then they started moving on their own for a minute! I almost thought the hotel was haunted.
Another time was when I was repairing devices. Some of the devices actually powered on for a split second, and I was so shocked. They don't have a power source, so that should've been impossible.
[ There was a near past where Subaru was certain he didn't want anyone to reach him. Where a gentleness like this would have been wasted on the ruination of his heart. Whatever warmth he felt he was quick to release so it wouldn't catch in the undertow of his true wish, so it wouldn't drown with him. Now, pulled back to the surface by a force he hasn't even begun to grasp, now, given an impossible second chance, now...
Now, he's not so sure.
It's easier to focus on what's right in front of him, the shape of his thoughts coalescing around what Caelus shares about his experiences. ]
Do you think it's something to do with electricity? Or metal? [ That molten color shines in his memory. ] The latter would explain the trolleys... it could be related to polarity or magnetism.
[ There are lingering complicated emotions in their tether, and Caelus is aware it must be related to how he must've accidentally stepped on something he shouldn't have. So knowing he needs to leave it alone for now, he continues to distract Subaru with something else.
He keeps smiling for both their sakes, further increasing the sensation of warmth and security to keep away any traces of that seemingly lonely confusion within the other's heart. He hopes one day, they can face that more bravely together. ]
I think so. It has to be related. After I found out that I can power devices like that, I tried to experiment with various items, like flashlights, table lamps, clocks, cameras, gas stoves, electric stoves, and even a motorcycle engine. The only thing that didn't work in that list is the gas stove. Though, it wears me out really, really quickly, so I can't do it efficiently right now.
That wasn't the end of it. I didn't notice at first since I already have a love for engineering and… um, random objects. [ Trash-loving raccoon… ] But I think something caused my crafting skills to significantly improve as well. I was "sure, I can fix this" good, but I wasn't "sure, I can fix this, and upgrade this and that while I'm at it!" kind of good!
[ As they return to the trailer site, Subaru diligently listens to each of the aspects Caelus describes. People call him a workaholic, but... clearly, the trailblazer also can't be kept down when it comes to finding answers for himself. And, just like it'd benefitted Subaru to lean into the native flow of magic, Caelus had been able to help secure them clean water in the treatment plant by the same measure. ]
I don't doubt that it'll be a valuable skill to have in this landscape. Metal is an important element in onmyoudo too... even though everything I've seen here is more advanced than what I know.
[ Even in ruin, he can tell this time is not the same one he inhabited. Its wreckage gleams too focused, concise, sharp. ]
Your interest in it means you'll probably adapt quickly.
[ "More advanced than what I know…" Oh, that's right. Subaru did promise to tell Caelus more about his world. He wonders if this topic is okay? He seems to hesitate a little, afraid of stepping on something wrong again, but he decides to ask regardless. There's no way for him to find out if he doesn't.
So, very curiously, and at the same time timidly… ]
I can. [ Subaru stops near the fire pit, his notched branches held carefully in his hands. Whatever he has planned for them he mindfully pauses, giving Caelus his full attention instead. ] Was there anything specific you wanted to know?
[ He does, of course, think firstly of Japan. But then — Caelus has traveled the stars. Would the Earth itself be more suited? ]
[ !! Does that mean it's okay? Caelus brightens, feeling excited to hear about this. He can't help but approach Subaru closer, beaming up at the taller man. ]
Ehh, let's see… [ What does he know about Japan so far? He'll try to review… ] So, so! Japan is… on planet Earth. Where people speak Japaneise! The continent is called A… A… [ Hold on, he has this. ] Aseeia?
[ … Well, almost got it. Look at him, his pronunciation is getting a little better at least! ]
On Earth, there are many other continents I don't know. But I heard of Korea. And Ameri.. America! Is where we are, Manhattan! America is the one that looks like a big whale on the map! I heard the term New York too, but I don't know what that is.
[ The smile that upturns the corners of his mouth is faint but genuine, patient. ]
Yes, we're in North America. Within that continent, we're in the country of the United States of America. New York is one of those states. Manhattan is one of its districts... ah, boroughs, are what they're called. Even though it's an island.
[ Shifting again in consideration, Subaru moves across the parking lot, kneeling to pick up some of the smaller rocks, bits of concrete, and other sturdy debris. ]
[ It's the smallest moments like these that Caelus also loves so much. It may not seem much, but the more they happen, the more important memories they become collectively… He's happily learning today and will keep all the knowledge with him for the future. When Subaru smiles, Caelus's own softens. ]
Wow! So America's so really, really big!! [ Well, it did look super big on the map, but Caelus couldn't estimate how big it actually is. ] You have to show me Japan on the map sometime. I want to see your country…
So, I'm assuming Japan is bigger than New York… Is it as big as America?
[ He's tailing Subaru around as he moves and collects the small items… ]
Meggy told me you're both from To— to…? [ Oh, crap. He forgot the name! Uhh. It was something like…! ] Toouupyo?
[ Satisfied with his collection, he returns to the front of the trailer and begins to arrange the items into small piles, just sturdy enough to prop the carved sticks up in as if he's making some sort of gate in front of it. ]
Japan is bigger than New York, but much smaller than America.
[ With careful hands, he erects the sticks in place. ]
Meggy...? [ Ah. His expression softens. Of all the people he expected to meet here, one whose experiences so closely mirrored his own wasn't one of them. But he is glad they met, that he can support someone bright like him. ] Megumi. We are both from Tokyo. It's the capital city of Japan.
Based on the year here... Tokyo and New York City have a friendship agreement. They're considered sister cities, though I've never seen it myself before now.
[ Even if it's been twisted beyond former recognition, the heart of the matter stands. ]
To… ko. To— k— [ He lets Subaru focus on finishing the task, while he occupies himself by trying to memorize the way Subaru said the word. ] Kyo… Tokyo…!
[ He did it. ✨ Now he shifts his attention to the finished arrangement on the ground, observing the details of the small structure. He seems to brighten in interest when hearing about New York and Tokyo's connection. The usual Caelus, forever curious and eager to learn. ]
That's cute! … Ah, I really do hope there are survivors outside Manhattan…
[ That's been his hope ever since he learned this is only one island. One that's purposely blocked off from the rest of the world, too. Surely, there have to be people out there somewhere…? Earth is a huge planet. And while Subaru figured out who Meggy is, Caelus will still clarify anyway. ]
Meggy is so tall for his age, huh? I went to check on him a few days ago and cooked a meal for him. I know he can take care of himself, but I still worry. He's still a kid, after all.
[ Subaru hadn't thought about it with any particular vigor, whether or not there were survivors beyond this one solitary island. He'd been preoccupied with the deity as she'd come to them, her whim and her feats. And, of course, the people immediately nearest to him in this little settlement. But, in thinking about it now, he agrees: ]
I also hope there are other survivors we'll meet someday.
[ Surely, there must be more. The odds dictate it so, even if he finds himself unsettled and with more questions the more he thinks about it. Motioning for Caelus to follow him and take a seat by the fire pit, Subaru pulls lengths of paper out of his coat pocket. They're blank, not yet used for talismans. ]
He's in a similar trade to mine. Fushiguro Megumi is... very bright. [ In deft fingertips, Subaru begins to weave shide, paper streamers, into a zigzag shape. He goes slow to show Caelus what he's doing. Though his attention is neatly divided between this task and his words, his feelings don't change. There is a strong pulse of recognition and fondness. ] But there are challenges to growing up with the gifts that he has.
[ When Subaru wishes for the same, Caelus smiles softly. Happy to have someone hoping with him, but also a little sad if their hopes become dashed one day. But he'll cross that bridge when he gets there. For now, it doesn't hurt to have a little prayer for hope.
When signalled to follow, Caelus responds quickly and sits with Subaru, still observing the procedures for the ceremony. The skill that Subaru possesses for his craft is so impressive, it's as if witnessing a professional artisan create an intricate masterpiece right before his eyes. The trailblazer can't help but cheer him on, clapping with a beam on his face. ]
You're so good with that. You must have other artistic talents.
[ Maybe Subaru's great at painting, too. Caelus can easily see that. ]
Mm… I know. He's so mature and responsible, way too much for someone his age. That's why I plan on making sure he has a good childhood! I'll play with him and take care of him as much as I can. He needs to have important fun memories as a kid, and not be overwhelmed with the worries of an adult.
[ Subaru shakes his head as he hands one of the completed shide to Caelus to hold. ]
No, it's just something my grandmother taught me. Streamers like these are used in ceremonies in Japan.
[ When he was struggling to keep up with high school and his work as the head of his clan, art classes were often the first to go. If he has any talent for it, he's long overlooked it in favor of power. He starts on a second streamer, intending to attach them to the notches he made on the sticks now standing upright in front of the trailer. As he works, fingers deft and sure in their little undertaking, near instinctual, his expression mellows.
He remembers the second conversation he'd had with Megumi. That patchwork memory of Shibuya in ruin, the trapped civilians and fallen allies. Being attacked, the window... so much blood for one boy to shed. ]
If you could do that, please do. [ He says, despite himself. There is no taking the things Megumi has already experienced away. There is no going back from the role he was given by the gift of his power, his birthright. But still... ] I know there are things he wishes to do when he returns home that none of us can change. But while he's here, he should know some of those good experiences too.
[ Is it the right place for it? Maybe not. But it doesn't stop him from thinking so. ]
[ Careful not to wrinkle or tear it, Caelus accepts the shide with two hands. There are two lonely sensations in the air. But the trailblazer doesn't comment on it, choosing to take in those feelings into his heart. He can take a guess.
Maybe aside from Megumi's missed opportunities for a happy childhood, Subaru might have experienced the same. Two lonely souls. The two are similar in some ways, especially in discovering that they have connected trades. They must've received similar training. And it's not impossible to imagine that these two must've suffered in their own ways through life's tough trials.
After all, Subaru did converse with Caelus about the end of the world. He sounded experienced. He must've seen it at least once before, or came close to seeing it before. ]
I will. I promise.
[ But that's not all. ]
I know this is weird to say since you're older than me, but I want to do the same for you. Maybe it's a little late since you're not a child anymore either, but there's no rule restricting it! After all, what will become of me, who lost everything I know?
[ Caelus had to start from zero entirely… Without anything carrying him, what was he to feel? Where does he go? How does he go on? He had to overcome these feelings to get to where he is now. He created his own path, his own memories. He reached out and found his own happiness. Or more accurately, he's still trying to find that now. Is he truly happy? But he believes he's on the right track.
And he wants both Megumi and Subaru to be happy as well. So Caelus smiles, using a free hand to gently touch Subaru's cheek. ]
[ Subaru listens. It's what he's good at, even if beautiful words are typically placed, untouched, onto the vast shelves of his memory. Just as he finishes the second shide, the warm touch motions across his face. It stills him like a veil of calm; something soft and yet still difficult to see through. He allows Caelus this touch, this conduit. His own experience prevails like a wash of light, a new dawn over a blank landscape. At its heart is not the Stellaron and the purpose that crafts itself around it, but the person the trailblazer has endeavored to be. By carving each experience into something worth remembering and keeping, no matter deep the tragedy or slight the happiness.
Subaru doesn't know if he has that ability. But he's never found it to feel so within reach. There's a slight dip to his head, a nod that presses his cheek into the touch as an acknowledgement. If not only for Caelus, then for Megumi too, who deserves more than what his blood and talent dictate. What can he do for them?
He doesn't know if he can, but he can try. Even if only for a little while. ]
It's not such a strange wish to have. [ Even at the end of the world, surely there are people who must have wanted to live. ] Just by doing things like this...
[ Even though there are feelings of uncertainty in this tether, it's vastly overwhelmed by the opposite emotions. The feeling of faith. The feeling of hope, represented by the smallest steps forward. Caelus is always taking huge leaps forward in life, but that doesn't mean he's moving alone. He waits ahead of life's road, waiting for his friends to arrive. He turns around, not necessarily to look back at the past, but to reach out to those still in the past.
If a friend needs more time, then he'll also slow down alongside them. That's what it means to connect and understand. When Subaru leans into his palm, Caelus adds more warmth to it by properly cupping that soft cheek. There's no doubt in the trailblazer's mind that despite how close they are now, the onmyouji is still somewhere far behind the road. But he'll wait. One day, he's sure that they'll reach each other even more deeply.
Once the next shide is passed onto him, Caelus lowers his hand in order to collect it, putting together the two. The feeling of Subaru's cheek still lingers on his palm, and hearing those words while thinking about this easily melts his heart. ]
That's right. I'll make sure that it will.
[ Wishing can only get a person so far. Caelus believes in the miracle of wishes, but more than anything, he believes in his own efforts. He'll work for it all and earn it properly— the true smiles of people, most especially Subaru's. He's seen Subaru's lovely smile several times by now, but he can't help but want more. He wants to see its entire true form, unrestained, beautiful, and radiant. ]
Why don't we read a book together sometime? You can teach me more English or Japanese that way, too…
[ With Caelus holding the shide, Subaru stands and leads the way back to the front of the trailer. Kneeling and motioning for him to follow, he indicates the notches at the ends of the sticks he'd carved as a place to insert them so they hang like tassels or streamers might. ]
Of course, I don't mind. I haven't found many books in Japanese... [ Once the streamers are in place, he dusts his knees softly and rises again. ] But I should still be able to translate some basic English for you.
[ It may not be all that impressive, but the time spent will be worth it. Standing back, he seems to be mentally checking things off. ]
All that's left is rope... or twine. And two cups of water.
[ There's a lot of visible apartment buildings right next to this parking lot, which is convenient for Subaru as he can use them as additional rooms, especially if he ever has several guests over. He can also easily restock the water tank in the trailer using nearby sources of water, such as the plumbing access in the apartments.
So off they go, entering the Chelsea bed and breakfast nearby. It's rather messy as expected, but surprisingly, there are barely any signs of corruption. This area might've been one of the lucky ones. ]
This place is kind of cute. It must've been really nice back then.
[ At Caelus's prompting, Subaru enters the ground level apartment through its bright red door after him, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light. It's as he says: quaint inside, even in disrepair. Not too big, but with room enough. Silent a moment to really take in that musing, he steps through the debris. Across the way, there's a little nook filled with texts. Many of the books have been scoured for pages, likely for fire kindling, but not all. He reaches up to wipe a thick layer of dust from one of the shelves. ]
In Japan, red... or vermillion, is said to ward off evil. Many shrines are guarded by red gates.
[ He exhales softly as he brushes the accumulated dust from his hands. Nearby, the desk has a few things left on it — one of which is a spool of packing twine. Subaru reaches for it. That'll do, as far as rope goes. ]
[ These occasional trivia that Subaru shares mean everything for the eternally curious Caelus. He absolutely adores learning about the cultures of worlds, as evidenced by his behavior when it comes to learning about other planets and other people. And there he is again, getting excited over one little fact about gates and doors.
Oh, but it is getting dark, huh. Is it already nearing sunset hours? It seems they've spent a lot of time together today without realizing how time flew by. These days, it has become so natural for the two of them. ]
I'll go check the kitchen. I'm sure there are cups there… Or at least, I hope so.
[ Temporarily parting from Subaru to look for the kitchen in the building, Caelus lets the onmyouji look around more for the meantime. He does seem fascinated by the book collection here. ]
[ Nodding Caelus off towards the kitchen for the last remaining items they need, Subaru lingers in the area between while he does so. Maybe the red door really is lucky, he thinks, gaze poring over the apartment's interior still holding strong against the rot of the outer world. Not everything is touched by her ruin, but it's uncommon enough that it stands out to him.
He notes it in the margins of his awareness. Perhaps he'll revisit this place to take his own pass over the books, the wares, the traces of a home long fallen but clinging to existence. It's nearby to the lot and a park where his birds fly free in practiced script. Later, he thinks. When there's more light.
Stepping closer to the entryway again, he calls out: ]
[ With excited hops, Caelus eventually returns to Subaru's side while carrying not just two, but maybe five cups! The cups are as aesthetic as the rest of the apartment, noted by their colorful designs that match the interior. He shows them off proudly. ]
They were nicely kept in the cupboard! The original owner of this place must've been a very tidy person.
[ Only two of the cups are filled with water, though. As instructed by Subaru. ]
[ Briefly surprised by the appearance of so many cups, Subaru's expression fades into a pleasantly dry warmth. He reaches out to take the two cups of water from him so that his hands aren't so full. ]
It seems so. [ Which is a blessing, in these circumstances. ] We can take a better look later.
[ With that, he guides them back out of the apartment and shuts the door safely behind them. Down the steps, onto the sidewalk and back into the lot where the trailer sits against the oncoming backdrop of night. He goes about the last of the preparations: he connects the two sticks with a loose length of twine. Then, he sets the cups of water on either side of the "gate" he's made. Standing back, he pulls a length of paper from his pocket, its surface already imbued with ink and magic. ]
I've never attempted this without onmyoudo before. [ What a strange world still, to not have it, but something that feels as if it was crafted in its shadow. ] But the steps should work the same.
[ Curling his arm and releasing it in a quick snap, he flicks the paper at the gate and it flies as if alive, the rune on it casting a thin wall of magic for it to stick to. ]
[ It really is getting dark out here… Thankfully, the sunset is still bright enough. While Subaru is making his final preparations for the ceremony, Caelus approaches the pocket-sized device connected to the fairy lights above the trailer. It's actually a tiny generator that he's managed to create using salvaged parts, though it's nothing impressive, and it can only be charged up by an Artificer like him.
The tiny device can temporarily power the fairy lights, but it won't last the whole evening. Maybe around an hour at most. However, lighting up the area isn't the point. The main purpose is to see its beauty: the soft, glowing lights which set the mood, even if only for a short while. Caelus wants Subaru to witness that soft glow, so he decides to sacrifice some of his energy to charge the generator tonight. It'll make him a little dizzy after, but it's worth it. Besides, this is good practice for him to become stronger.
Just in time. Once Subaru flicks the paper and casts his spell, Caelus's own spell on the generator completes as well. Both of their spells glimmer together, then come fully alive. The fairy lights brighten, shining down on the trailer and within the reflection of their eyes. The full display of Subaru's completed gate. A soft sanctuary in this darkened city. ]
[ So it's not only his light that protects this place, but also Caelus's. Subaru's gaze upturns to admire it, features cast in that warm gold.
In the faint glow of entwined spellwork between the two of them, the spell completes when the water flows upwards from the cups. It curls in soft, quick shapes, then coats the ground. The streamers shudder slightly, and the thread snaps. The gate becomes a conduit through which any remaining malevolence leaves. All at once, the air calms. It's as if some greater energy sighs out beneath the gentle gaze of the lights. All the unease, the maliciousness, the dread — doesn't disappear. But it does soften.
A sanctuary in this darkened city...
Protected by magic. But built by someone's own two hands. ]
[ The air… feels clearer. Breathing comes more easily. Caelus can't remember the last time he's taken in such fresher air. Because even during his time in Amphoreus, that world's environment was also… ruined. Ash. Dust. Fire. The Black Tide. How long has it been, truly?
The way Caelus can barely remember the date makes his eyes water just slightly. The eternal loop in Amphoreus, what Lygus did to everyone… Ah, but what is he doing, getting lost in his thoughts like this? This is a precious moment, and he wants to remember it that way. So he wipes his eyes, then smiles once more, especially as he turns to face Subaru.
And a nervous, soft laugh, waving his two hands quickly. ]
N… no! Please, lift your head. I'm returning the favor. You saved my life, Subaru. I wouldn't be here now, if it weren't for you… But, I'm really… glad.
[ Very glad that Subaru seems to like it. It was all worth it, especially to feel this kind of comforting environment again. ]
Edited (ONE DAY I WILL STOP MAKING TYPOS) 2025-12-14 05:16 (UTC)
[ When Arthur reaches out across the Murmur, it's a familiar feeling to their dance in the dream; pragmatic, professional, clean lines borne with a subdued grace. Along the edges, there's a subtle warmth, like a stubborn frost being eroded by the accumulated heat of a hearth upon a windowpane. ]
[ A wintry return pulse, fluttering like a bird's wing or a shorn flower, a too-natural capitulation to the bond the Murmur brings. But familiarity gives the sensation new dimension as compared to the dream; Subaru has already felt this man's hands, so what cords his mind and heart are also easy to bear. ]
[ Oh. Huh. That was a friendlier reception than he was anticipating. Not that he thought Subaru hated him or anything.
Something to consider, later. For now, he has a different topic to go over. ]
There's a—[ Arthur pauses, searching for the best word to describe this. ]—method I wanted to tell you about, to help discern a dream from reality. I don't doubt your natural ability to keep both feet on the ground, so to speak, but when we're dealing with dreams like the one we met in ...
[ He trails off, letting Subaru fill in the rest. Sleep's dream (or rather, One's, because Kalmiya had corrected that notion) had been ultra-real, even with the fantastical elements. It catered to the senses and had a solidity that was abnormal by usual human standards. ]
...I understand. [ Robust as his senses are, whittled down to a gleaming edge over the years, they can only account for so much here. ] You've probably walked countless more dreams than I have, so I'd like to hear what you have to say.
[ A brief hesitation only now manifests. ]
There have been points since I woke up here where I've wondered.
[ Something in him relaxes as Subaru acknowledges the information–while the other man hadn't given him reason to think he was prideful or one to scoff at a helping hand, there was always a possibility. Arthur thumbs the weighted die in his pocket, feeling out the indentations of the pips as a blind man would with braille. ] Dunno about countless, I could probably get you a number, if you want data for a comparison.
[ Okay, not the point, but hey. It's there. In case Subaru had any doubt of what kind of person he was. ]
You wouldn't be the first. Don't think you'll be the last, either. This place has a way of blurring the lines. [ His hand closes around the cherry red die, the edge digging into his palm like an odd comfort. ] A friend of mine came up with the theory of a totem; a small, unique object you could carry in your pocket. Preferably weighted–not a coin or currency, since too many people would know what that feels like.
[ Mirroring Subaru's earlier hesitation, there's a moment of conversational suspension, a breath before the plunge. ] Hers was a little metal top that would spin forever in a dream, instead of toppling.
[ No, there was no doubt. But there is something to be said, he thinks, of data in relation purely to dreams. Many could be driven to insanity by that. Instead...
..."Hers" lands with such softness that Subaru understands on instinct alone that the "was" following it must ache in recesses that he rarely allows anyone to see, let alone touch. Silence follows in acknowledgement, though he measures the weight of its knowing against the light of his consideration. He's trying to help, so he puts his focus in the corresponding place. For now. ]
Assuming its total uniqueness to its owner, that simple object would be difficult to translate into the language of the dream without suspect variations. It's a genius idea, really.
As for my small favour, I'm afraid it comes with limitations: look, but don't touch.
( For whatever curse sleeps on it to consume two would be — )
After all, our happy little family isn't at the point of sharing assets. But I'm not so crude: bearing in mind I'm but a humble veterinarian incapable of shouldering the Sumeragi fees, what might I owe you?
[ A silent sensation, not as accurate as a tether but still commanded through the Murmur's intrusion all the same: a building in Chelsea, its arched doorway red as a torii gate. ]
( Ah, but to learn the rundown location of the Sumeragi scion in his tatters is a greater intimacy than to enter the boudoir of a sophisticated courtesan in her lovely prime. He makes no mistake of it, no delay. There is distance, there is the red-hot noose of his fatigue, there is the high call of white birds drifting over sun-drenched soil oozing between cement teeth.
Manhattan is a lark like this. Sakurazuka Seishirou, battered, bruised, one arm regaled with the bandage fittings shielding a somnolent stab wound, the flickers of his flitting gaze quarry-like, diffuse. He doesn't knock — sends the tacit invitation of a pulse through their strange trinket of a bond — but waits outside, like every stray on the porch, legs mutinously kicked out over slitted stepping stones. Gravel swims in his stillness.
Cold at midday. Colder still at night. He stirs from exhaustion when the door creaks. )
[ He is a sensation before he is a sight, and Subaru doesn't look gratified in the interstice of the red doorway to find that both of these things align.
Even if — it sings truth. He couldn't promise him without lying. ]
If it were any other celebration.
[ Maybe he would have accepted it as tiding. As it is, he pulls the door open wide in its own scrape of ceremony, standing aside for him to enter. Knowing tempers the green-glinting trouble of his study, any urgency that would have flourished beneath it. To help yourself to another's offering is an exercise in withstanding. ]
( What fool walks into the lion's den willing? One increasingly old, starting to grey and resolutely unwilling to accept the permanence of encroaching wrinkles. He is — himself reduced, yes, bootleg and dusting and frailed, but his roots sing the sakura tree's promise. He will stand, he will hold, he will persevere. This storm will not be what brings him down.
Wind at his back, a groaning door, dust travelled in gravel beneath his dragging footsteps. Wallpaper flayed in stiff, thick peels at waterlogged edges where green peers between electric fittings. Dead LED and predatory fern, cottagecore chic.
For once, along stairs and throttled corridors, he does not offer to remove his shoes. )
Should I really be here unchaperoned? The new generation is quite forward. ( After all, how can Sumeragi Subaru resist his debilitated and impoverished charms? The dark circles attached to the dark circles, that's what modern men crave. ) Tell me you have a cigarette.
[ Subaru does look at him in the humid candlelit breath of his new dwelling's interior, scraped, as if meat from bone.
Bereft of a kettle proper, a pot boils water in the slender hollow of a kitchen behind him, dutifully stacked with all manner of pilfered tea and non-perishables more suited to Hokuto's stylish eye than his own. Subaru has hosted more blustering, starlit intrusion here than he ever did in his last nine years of existence. ]
I do. [ A lie, halved. ] But not your brand.
[ He remembers the scent of it, the coat it over sugar, blossom, antiseptic. Only nostalgia has given him any trace of it, much like nostalgia crushes the reconstituted shape of his worry beneath its heel. Another half, the chosen half. ]
Do you want to persevere with it, or against it?
[ The disrespect of his worry is swapped for the disrespect of his knowing. ]
( Sickness and misfortune come uninvited. Even corporate death calls for an open door — but waits no further for his seat, half descending, half collapsing on the first three wobbly-legged availability in a painstaking exercise to race the chair to a molten end.
He feels indiscreet in his lassitude, thoughts mothballed, gestures sugared and slow. The hand that holds his temple, pulsing dark, nearly slips off the table. He catches it — himself — with an amused startle, the balm of Subaru's persuasion a difficult exorcism. )
Mmmmmmmm...? But I'm such a devoted man. ( To his cigarettes, if nothing else. Support the government's triumphs, buy local. Mild Seven or bust. His fingers drum a beat lost at sea. ) I'll start one for you. It won't count.
( Cigarettes have their ritual, start to finish. Not every quick anonymous puff in the dark is love affair. )
Charming place. ( Perfectly idyllic — and his gaze rains down over the tragedy of porcelain geometries stacked in a gravity-defying heap in the sink. Cup count: three. ) A nice place to entertain.
[ Subaru is well-acquainted with devotion and its shadow, the temptation to pass off curated taste for a wide net of relief, palate dulled. He finds surprise briefly cording that it's taken him this long to find and accept a loophole.
And here they are. Here he is, complicit.
An ashtray joins the table by way of slender fingertips; cheap, plastic, the mainstay of an apocalypse that delights in shattering more refined glassware. Then a pack of cigarettes already picked open, tobacco old, brand long faded off its paper insert. Taken from an international shop in Times Square, one that had long been rendered inaccessible by Charlotte's stage, suddenly reopened by her defeat. Subaru offers him that but keeps the lighter, thumb tracing its sparkwheel in a brief weft of thought. ]
It's more a place of study.
[ — is what he settles on. There was a small library once, its most boring books misshapen by the pages torn from them as a means of kindling or talisman. And in contrast to the emblematic sterility of his Shinjuku apartment, there is dust, ink, scrap, cup rings half-formed. Languages all around him, like Sleep's runes ruptured, Japanese failing, the tabletop stove burning through its meager propane reserves as the water churns toward blessed volatility.
You find yourself studying human nature often, over tea?
( After all, the twelfth head didn't raise her successor on coffee.
Ashtrays, cigarettes, the accoutrements of a bad idea delivered with the sobriety of a crime scene. Sumeragi Subaru only ever belongs in black-and-white cinema, a leading product of romanticized doom and gravitas.
One of them must attempt against the convalescing health of Seishirou's lungs. In the way of his people, the Sumeragi dithers. So, then: Seishirou captures the cigarette pack, turns it each way and over. Logo conveniently stripped, but the forget-me-not blue of the packaging betrays the French staple of Gauloises and Seishirou's venerable age in tandem. One cigarette, on the cusp of crumbing at the tip.
He drags it to his mouth, lets himself enjoy the pallid weight there, the minute discrepancies from the memory of Mild Sevens. Then, he sinuously leans in towards dearest Subaru-kun, tacitly inviting his lighter fire like every high-end courtesan committed to making the month's rent at a jazz bar. )
[ He's been relearning the spells for fire, some of his scraps bearing scorches, singing, but his thumb still presses down on the lighter with the ease of an unearned normalcy. It flicks, flinty-soft against a burnt wick, and he exercises his ability to near the Sakurazukamori's face with an ostensible threat. He offers it out over the tabletop. ]
When it visits me, yes.
[ Which is more often than he expects but never refuses, still. ]
( Fire licks shadow over his cheek, blooms short spells of warmth, leaves empty promises: who was the beautiful lingerie-clad slip of pyromancy-prone nothing on the Seals' side? ...Kasumi. Kasumi Karen. What work she'd make of him. For a woman so fair, he might even deign to burn.
In the hands of an ancestral enemy, every threat is insincere. Deliver death or don't. There is no suspense, no crescendo. Near his face, Subaru's hand is complacent. Near his heart —
He nods his thanks, dips in, holds his cigarette stiffly in the line of fire with one hand, shields the nascent flame with his other palm from invisible gusts. Old habits of stalking and prowling in the great outdoors die hard. Then, he leans back and — breathes in, the staggered, muted squalor of stale tobbacco blossoming pleasure his lungs have gone so many weeks without, their lining is surely by now practically virginal. His eyelids sweep shut.
A second inhalation. Get the cigarette started, he said. He allows himself the indiscretion of a third with a knowing, ingratiating smile at the joke of his person, shared between them; there's hardly enough ash to shed, but he sanitizes the tip on the ashtray, only to prolong the familiar weight of the cigarette in his hand.
The fourth puff is for the road. Someone's road. The fifth, only because four is unlucky. And that's enough.
Cruel fate. Damned stubbornness and pride. He turns the stick so the flame faces him, trapped between his thumb and pointing finger, and offers it to Subaru. )
Fushiguro Megumi likes to walk around. ( But he's one morsel between many mouths, and Seishirou suspects, not so unique in retaining the auspices of Sumeragi Subaru's undivided attention. ) Who else?
[ Between four and five, the thirteenth almost thinks to let him keep it. Visible proof of his breathing, even in pursuit of reinstated addiction, feels a miracle. If he busies himself with something else, surely the abandonment can just be chalked up to mistimed steeping for an equally cheap tea. He was never the one doing the brewing, after all...
...but neither is he one to sow a lie where there isn't one. The one time is silty now, sedimentary.
Another in a long list of unforgettable transgressions.
Subaru places the lighter on the table and takes the cigarette instead, promise and pride metamorphosed. Fingers touch where flame hadn't and he lifts it away to whet his less discerning taste in liaisons. Perching it between his lips, his inhale curls with him when he turns and paces the few steps back into the kitchen. ]
Agent Choi. His trade is similar to ours. [ An exorcist in theory, a civil servant in name. He's knowledgeable, though Sleep has made his bones malleable instead of his magic. An Offering, not a Token. One cup extracted from the pile and then rinsed, placed beside a new one. What teas he's been given are mostly plain and black — no sugar, no spice, no mint leaf or milk. People certainly had their first pick of preferences at the world's end. ] Caelus.
[ This place is already a hunting ground, but their numbers are few enough that he names them without pretense. ]
( Fushiguro Megumi. Agent Choi. Caelus. An ever-growing constellation of haphazard people and meddlesome things. He wonders, hand reaching for a cigarette his mouth no longer carries in phantom yearning, if Subaru volunteers the names of people he privately wants subjected to a paltry degree of petty horrors. That's about the level of the Sakurazukamori's current expertise: a staggering, bleeding, idiocy-suffering purveyor of inconveniences.
But no. Sumeragi Subaru is incapable of more than auctioning the interminable reserves of his patience and civility to the widest smiling bidder. He has never met a desperate cause or tragic child he would turn away. Whatever her sins, whatever her bedside manner, his grandmother well called the sickness of his overly sympathetic heart.
He smokes well, for all of it. This isn't a nostalgic game entertained to embezzle the first and last dregs of Seishirou's absenteeing pity. Subaru-kun holds his cigarette proud, his mouth pursed, his gaze diffused; he inhales without care or consequence. What a fantastically sophisticated pedigree pet.
At leisure, Seishirou introduces the stretch of cotton from his breast pocket, a handkerchief thinned by obsesive buffing, drenched in every colour and texture of ichor. Dread and despair, mounted on Sumeragi Subaru's kitchen table. Standard fare in a long day's work. )
[ Water, trickling boiled thick. Blood, so alive that its signature curls over the back of his neck the moment Seishirou exposes it.
Subaru glimpses back, the mundanity of his task arrested. Alarm rings keen over the adult topography of his expression, peeling back the lines of age, the unkind narcosis of the years. There isn't much that the Sumeragi head hasn't touched by now. There is no mystery in the mire of a pallid corporate exorcism. There is no mystery in the dog's head he pulls up from the shallow earth, the yuurei so mistreated even in death that its contagion becomes onryou. Contractual, obligate. Safe.
This, though...
The need to know flares through him. ]
...what did you think of it, [ Subaru ventures, bringing the teacups to the table. He sets one down at each place; his own will soon be forgotten. His attention dilates and suddenly he's handing the cigarette back to Seishirou to clear his hands, to — look. Not touch. ] the ritual that lead up to this?
[ Not a mantra but a hymn before all the world went dark. ]
( There: the consummate predator, an onmyouji out for literal blood, curiosity metastasising into tenebrous fascination, the downcast drip of Sumeragi Subaru's gaping mouth. He's curious. Worse, he's eager, a hunting hound, belly to ground.
The cigarette's peace hangs in the dubious balance of Sakurazuka Seishirou's unwavering hand. He pretends for a moment diluted to taut pulled-honey string that he will neglect it past its decorative advantage. A mere accessory to the crime of his ethical anomie.
Then, statue livened, he lets his hand drift the cigarette close to his mouth in the inevitable evolution of guttural, snapped puffs. )
It felt — ( And what a word they've been reduced to, the intimate animal comprehension of an intellectual phenomenon. ) Primitive. Unpractised. Throwing whatever's on hand at a wall to see if it sticks.
( One's blood, evidenced in Seishirou's souvenir, certainly did. )
These aren't sophisticated actors. At a first glance, I'd assume the work amateurish. Or tribal.
[ His hearing lies rapt with Seishirou's professional opinion, likewise felt in its genealogical cadence. And his gift of sight remains on his omiyage. Across the table lies the taxonomy of promise and signature: lung-humid smoke, domesticated steam politely curled. And then the blood, its intrusion like a wild wolf at the breakfast table.
One arm braced in front of him, Subaru hovers his opposite palm over the handkerchief, a slight inhalation of energy calling it upwards to unfurl. One incantation tacks its corners taut on the invisible barrier of his magic's interest.
Looking, but not touching, conditions upheld. ]
The people here are fond of him. One.
[ One, whose bloodletting desecrated a whole city block and its church. ]
( Cat kissing the cream, beware of the lick, clumsy, clumsy. He's only so fastidious, so painstakingly prim and proper for his audience, must be. Even dearest Subaru-kun can't cast his spells with such innate, unsupervised, perfectly disciplined formality, as if a base divination pentagram can seed the next great thunderous boom of a nascent world.
Only, it's Sumeragi Subaru, superlative scion, blood of some or other emperor or Fujiwara, jade bead among his grandmother's tightly clutched pearls. Of course he's naturally flawless in execution, the invisible but prickling flow of his magic only drawn imperfectly taut when his gaze snags on Seishirou. Ah. He's flesh and bone, after all.
Seishirou's smile is a gift contingent on every next instance of human fallacy. Choose your miracles wisely. )
Are you surprised? They're saviours infatuated with a martyr. It's a love match for the ages. ( Has anyone ever seen finer? And isn't Seishirou grand, conversational, patient in the long wait for Subaru's decryption of whatever tacit code One's blood enshrined in parting generosity?
A forlorn pang, the tapestry of his — Subaru's cigarette woven a new slate line. He sighs, takes another puff. Then, he looks at the smoking stick with something like incredulous betrayal. Oh no. Now he's done it. )
I'm not giving this back to you, am I? Damn your eyes. ( Mmmm. The thoughtful, laissez-faire hum. ) Eye.
[ Lightning quick, supple-spined instinct, unspecified between the cigarette's betrayal and the eye's betrayal. Against the sloped architecture of his palm delivering a potent dose of magic inquiry, the cloth hums in protest of his perusal. It quakes against the ward he's pinned it to, transmuting from polite butterfly-winged souvenir to a snapping animal, leg trapped in the jaws of a winter-hidden bear trap.
His fingers bleed first with the inky reservoirs of his new magic. Then they bleed in actuality, skin flaying in soft, papery cuts. He bears it because he knows the price. He's not tracing his runes in Japanese, in Chinese or Sanskrit. He's tracing in the broken, smeary glyphs he'd seen in the church, puzzling out the invocation One pledged to Sleep. ]
...It's not surprise, necessarily. [ Subaru returns to the notion even as the table shakes and his blood flutters, plastic and porcelain rattling. ] But there is a notion many are carrying about why he did this.
[ Bliss, fire, endurance, sacrifice. Harmony, suffering, strength, battle. Each line traces elegant, blunt, parsing. ]
Drawing her eye wasn't for any of our sakes. [ Divinity. Divine will — the blood glares back at him. ] She promised him something.
( Takes a steeled stomach, watching in wait while blood seeps out like an oil spill and it's fresh, breathe it, fresh and metallic and raw like a blunt butcher's cut, feel it, wet and corrosive and thickly coagulated, taste it, ghost of it hard and prickling on the tongue, when Seishirou swallows, dry.
Sumeragi Subaru's viscous signature hangs like a noble web of drippings, and the cloth hungers for me, like open maws. It's the trouble of things: grant an object sentience, it grows its own appetites, its own lures. Blood now tasted will forever be craved.
This time, Seishirou palms the handkerchief, first claim clean and fleeting, the second scrunching cotton, violating stuttered gasps of lace. And conversationally, as if a petty rite of spiritual dissection didn't accelerate between them: )
She's a child. All children know how to do is seed ruin or die. ( And she's ill tempered and impatient and strong, too strong by far, big of bones and small of virtues. She's a Sumeragi hurricane in fallen New York's tea cup, absent the discipline of restriction.
There's a wound weeping on this Sumeragi's hand, where the price was paid and truth born. He has no means to mitigate it past the banal. And so, he nods carefully: )
Thank you. ( A professional sacrifice still calls for some recognition. ) Now. Did you see god?
[ Over the quieted table, the downward drift of scrap — cloth and blood, condensation, magic, Subaru's fingers curl and recede. Blood scrying is ruinous work. It begets too many mouths, too many teeth. Unlike the elements, it pulses alive. Capillary to root nerve... should this child not forgive his curiosity, he suspects he'll bear witness to them in time. Even if only in the way a predator tests the landscape of its consciousness: by bite. ]
No. It has power, [ that word weighs on his tongue like it has a taste. ] but not divinity.
[ Because there is a difference between a god ordained by its heavenly birth and a god made so by another's will. One is knowable. One is — knowable. ]
He may be like a god from where we stand. But it also might be that his power was given to him.
( A god old, a god new, a god borrowed, a god too good to be true. Sleep's emissaries, her martyrs, her chosen. Something doesn't add up — likely because this is an operation of petty funerary subtractions.
There's more here than meets whichever eye. Between Sumeragi Subaru's distracting magical talent and enviable pulse and Seishirou's alert cunning and practical impulses, between the two serviceable pillars of their sight, they make, together, one wholly functional person. Twin star, or simply star-crossed?
The shadow of Seishirou's fingertips splinters in an ichor-refracted kaleidoscope, floating over Subaru's hand, wakey-waking the furnace of his marks. Deeper than new-found sakanagi, is that claim. Deeper than hurt. And it greets its master in tacit convulsions.
He finds himself sinking his palm down over Subaru's, shepherding both away from the handkerchief, flat out on the table. His cigarette sleeps the tremors of its last sleep in the ashtray. )
You can't keep it. ( For sake-keeping or further study or whatever linguistic perversion might excuse Sumeragi Subaru's misplaced enthusiasm for occult eeriness.
In a wasteland so far from home, sweet and forever home, his head droops onto his other hand, cushioned on Subaru's kitchen table — and he spies the pallid, hiccupped start of nascent constellations peering on the midday sky, ready for the night hour of winter drawing her skirts. He can't stay here in the evening hour. For now, his suitors have abandoned him, but appetites are fickle, and men strange.
Still, a moment. Feline, half-wakeful respite, drunkenly jittery. He is tired, feverishly tired, can't afford sleep. )
Tell me... tell me about your latest cases.
( Talk emptily, bonelessly, without meaning or purpose, just as Subaru might have when he was still a fresh-faced novelty morsel at the head of a shambles clan, and Seishirou infiltrated his sister's dinner table. Bad habit. Too nostalgic. He's never —
[ Possibility turns over in the spying glass of his mind. Not the kind that sows hope in the wound's edge of the apocalypse, unscarred by their arrival, but the kind that looms its precipice. And the human condition that begs him to look over it, to see what exists beneath. He doesn't have to say it; Sakurazuka Seishirou is always one step ahead of him. He'll know the concern dredged by the silver spoon of the Sumeragi's notice. They, all of them, were also given Sleep's magic. In the animal maw of her calling and the sacrifice made by One exists the possibility of a mirror image. To cultivate it past its infancy may lead to similar bonds, similar ends...
— his fingers twitch, the jewel-facet inlay of his marks sitting prettily in the gallery and bridge of Seishirou's hand. There is little resistance in his wrist when guided aside and away from the handkerchief. (Look, only look.) So little that he doesn't think to remove it even when the journey ends with both settled on the table.
There are still things he wants to ask. But the last tang of a dying cigarette's nostalgia bids higher.
Don't touch, or he ends up like this: half-asleep in the sworn enemy's unimpressive kitchen. ]
Alright. [ Subaru retrieves his blood-splattered teacup. Its tepid contents wet the height of his heartbeat; it'd escaped his attention, crawled secretively, destructively high in his throat. ] My last formalized contract was this...
[ And he goes on to recount the remaining days as the head of the Sumeragi, among the bellowing of dragons as they cracked Tokyo's ribs raw, teeth trailing the human belly of its innards over the land that would serve as their apocalypse. Beacons of humanity that would make anyone welcome the end, were they to look too long: a resurrected husband to be returned to ash at a desirous mother's behest; a week's worth of exorcisms at a demolished soapland condensed down into a single Sumeragi ceremony; a rash of murder at the hands of a woman believing herself to be the host of kitsune tsuki, an arbiter of slaughter for petty slights...
On and on, never as emptily as he might prefer. His schedule was as busy as a Dragon of Heaven as it was when he was clumsily thundering around his apartment trying to redress after two-hours worth of sleep. A bad habit, too nostalgic — You can, is what he thinks in the case of sleep and affordability. ]
[ His head feels like it is swimming. The emotions felt in the song daze and confuse; it pulls pain that isn't even his to the surface. What is he to do with it? His own trauma is minimal at worst. Ah, what a world they've awakened. ]
[ Unease is like a river's current in the Murmur. Ambient at first, but treacherous the deeper one treads. Subaru senses it; his natural instinct is to assuage the effect. ]
I'm alright. You felt it, didn't you?
near far wherever you are i believe that one will go on ~
It's not uncommon, [ He explains without being asked outright. ] for those in my line of work to witness ritual like this. Maybe not on this scale, necessarily...
A sensation of how nice that would be - how easy it would be to let these feelings flow off him to someone else. He won't have to concern himself further with this matter. Ah, that is a very tempting offer. ]
[ Irritating someone scarier than Subaru but also -- ]
I was thinking of trying to earn enough brownie points with Sleep to have her tether to me, but now I think I should hold onto these terrifying feelings to remind myself to not do that...
Gimme some time to not be so nervous about the goddess I'm flirting with --
[ He hums. How long will it take to ease his worries? Not that long. His easy-going nature - the nature that lets all trouble roll of him - is a blessing as much as a curse for those around him. ]
How about in two days time? In the afternoon?
[ A small laugh. ] I live quite far so it'll give me time to get to where you are. Since you're doing me a favor, the last I can do is put in the literal leg work.
Subaru, what do you like? Like what would you like as a gift? Even though things are as they are -- [ A dreary situation where it's hard to find supplies. ] -- I think bringing a gift when visiting is still something I should do.
You find it difficult to neglect your manners, don't you?
[ Souvenirs, good tidings for longevity, health, luck. So on. Though he supposes this landscape makes even the smallest offering mean more. So, he exercises his pliancy: ]
[ it's been some time since he was supposed to meet subaru at the park.
clumsy, staggering footsteps drag him through the city. laid over the buildings, his vision flickers to show what they once were—how they became what they now are. the fear rises up in his throat like nausea and in his ears, he can hear it, steady and continuous:
—I can change nothing no I can change nothing nothing has become my plaything I can make nothing into a weapon there will be no void left unfilled I am human and humans are always human and always scared because being human makes us scared and being scared makes us human—
the chanting eggs him on, and his head feels like a mess. it hurts, it aches, it stings, but at the very least, it's not so far gone that he finds himself unable to recognize the fact. he's not thinking clearly, and he knows he's not thinking clearly. it's hard to think clearly—but maybe if he's lucky, if he gives it a minute, it will pass.
under the red light of the moon, agent choi leans back on what's left of a dingy bus stop bench, closing his eyes as his lips move intermittently of their own accord. ]
[ Some time has never been cause for alarm. It's when some crosses into too much that Subaru decides he will have to go to him, instead.
It only becomes a chase when he tries to reach out through their tether and finds it deadened, as if a wall of static has come down between them. It weighs heavy in his soul. There are breaks in the noise, full of distortion: searing flashes of pasts long gone. Futures wrought by divinity's purging hands. Then, to his ears, the mantras. The hymns, repetitious and discordant. Each notches fear a little higher in Subaru's throat as he tries to locate him in the debris of their connection; he wears the emotion well.
What precedes him aren't the clatter of footsteps, but the flutter of wings. White birds wheel out into the street from an alleyway, bigger, sharper, stronger. Cast with more intent and more formidable magic. They circle, paper and song, some shooting up into the moonlight like signal flares, some coming to land near Agent Choi. As if to say:
[ it isn't that choi doesn't feel it—the hand reaching out for him through a shared tether, close, but always just out of reach. it becomes another part of the memories that flood his awareness. a friend, a brother, a lover. he watches one after another as each manages to slip just through his fingers, through their fingers, through our fingers, following the call of the red, red moon overhead. and still the fungal blooms creep ever closer. he can feel them under his feet, at the tips of his fingers, and in his very lungs. approaching. encroaching. engulfing.
until they aren't.
birds cut through the scene painted by the succumbence, tearing through the remembered fear as easily as if it were the papercraft here. they climb and they swoop, and when he turns his head to look, they look back, expectant. the sight of them brings a name to the tip of his tongue. something familiar. something important. but as he opens his mouth to speak it aloud, what comes out instead is a chest deep cough, as if some kind of mold itself is trying to climb out of his throat instead. ]
[ His tether mottles with shadow even when he draws nearer. Finally lead out from the alleyway and into the street, Subaru's gaze catches on the bench, the birds and the blooms, Agent Choi being suffocated by the whispers of something even he can't immediately make sense of. Fungal rot blossoms outward in a thieving symphony of shape, latticed and fanning, colors improbable. Contamination, he'd called it. Subaru doesn't know how he feels it but he does feel it, the fleeting silt of being able to touch something but being unable to grasp it in any way that matters.
But because he feels it, he knows their connection is still there. His heart steels over that singular thread of importance as he approaches, more impulse than rationale — instead of letting it fall through his fingers, Subaru seizes his hand.
If Choi is forgetting what shape he takes, Subaru decides to trace his outline by placing it against the sheer willpower of his own.
If this is Sleep's spell, he intends to reverse it. ]
There's something speaking to you. [ He intones, steady and low. His other hand comes to rest against his face, blessedly cool, spiting the blood heat of the moon. ] Shut it out and listen to me. What were you going to say?
[ in a surprising turn of events, just when the agent is afraid he'll be consumed too, his hand meets another. he manages to empty his throat of spores, and the hand of one who's come to meet him brushes against his cheek next. his own skin feels hot and feverish. perhaps it's a symptom of succumbence, or maybe the round moon's influence alone on him, but as disoriented as he is, the cool temperature is grounding. just not enough for recognition to flicker in his eyes as his gaze meets the other's.
what's familiar, again? what is important? the name that had rested on the tip of his tongue is gone, replaced by something else: ]
There's somewhere I have to go.
[ that's right. he was on his way somewhere. there's some place that he needed to reach. a safe place. a smile curves across his lips, strained and stressed, but a glimpse of the person he's supposed to be all the same. the city he perceives, twisted by memories that aren't his own, shudders, but he hangs tight onto what he's certain belongs to him. turns his attention away from the other, towards the chaotic thrum of people in the street. ]
West 22nd street. I shouldn't be sitting around.
[ there's an association that's tugged on in the mycelium web of choi's mind. a picture of a young man with cropped black hair and dark blue eyes. a feeling of being scolded, and the worry he knows to be behind it. but he's fine. he is. he will be. wasn't he? ]
[ His stomach drops as he feels some other presence surge through the tether. Not an intrusion, but something native to it, something vast and opportunistic. It's as if the Murmur is no longer contained by their bond, instead bleeding out into the waiting grasp of the proliferating fungal web they share this city with.
And now, this rot wants Choi. It calls for him, the thinner his recognition for what's real becomes. Whatever threads have hooked into him are carrying his memories away, supplanting them with others that have long since passed. Subaru's gaze flickers upwards, vision doubling as he struggles against the strange, alien current he's accepting into himself also — he sees flashes of it, Manhattan as it was. Vibrant, an unmatched metropolis teeming with life. Manhattan as it became, shrouded by the moon's fall. And...
Manhattan as it is now. Cracked by the teeth of some incredible force, older than the stars. ]
You... [ West 22nd. Blue eyes, juxtaposed across the memory of safety. ] ... were on your way to me.
[ There's no one else here. The streets loom empty and Subaru tries to remind himself of that the further he strains the tether to reach into whatever it is that's trying to wrest Agent Choi away from him. His fingers twitch away from his face, but his opposite hand still holds tight. ]
on the contrary, it welcomes subaru into the interwoven web of memories like a warm embrace, as if inviting him to become a part of it too—little different from agent choi now. maybe that's what makes his voice sound clearer. closer. lighter. it emulates what the conversation might have sounded like under better circumstances. ]
Oh? Lucky me.
[ that smile of his widens slightly, flashing white teeth and sharp canines. someone willing to come all this way just to find little ol' him, it's almost enough to make choi feel bad for worrying him. still, the recognition doesn't settle in, and for all his smiling, it remains guarded. cautious. but there's something, something about this man... for a moment, as they talk, it feels like standing in the eye of the storm—no longer swept away by its winds, but simply watching them rage around himself.
it does feel familiar. ]
... Subaru? Is that your name?
[ he can't recall the face of that person, but he can remember the name, at least. if he really reaches, he can remember why too. a tour underground, trudging through empty subway tunnels with grim curiosity, and a cracked mask that he couldn't imagine letting anybody else pick—had taken for himself. but that feels far away. distant, as if long past. what's happening now is different. is it? there's doubt underlying the thought, but it feels difficult to disprove when it's still happening all around their quiet conversation. the panic, the screaming, and worst of all, the eerie calm that comes with her influence. ]
[ There's so little resistance that it actually pulses through him as subtle alarm. Whatever it is likewise reaching out to him, it's wearing this man's soul to soften the temptation, to make it seem less hostile. To follow him in would almost seem — pleasant? Because it's not as though he's never seen him smile like that, teeth and all. Sharpness, light. But it's not for him. His sense of self, rattling against the force of a looming succumbence, tells him so.
This brief interstice between storm and soul may be his only chance. The truth dances through the contours of his awareness; all he can do is navigate the flow of memory as it whispers in and roars back out. It wasn't the moon, its light red, wet. He gazes into the memory to see that it was darker, closer. So it was the subway...
He should have known better than to let him go so easily.
Warily, he keeps watch for the fungal influence, though he doesn't cast any spells to repel it. With how interwoven it's becoming with his psyche, he can't risk it. Not yet. ]
Yes, it is. [ Subaru pauses, then sits down next to him on the bench. ] Can you tell me...
[ agent choi's demeanour stays casual, even with 'subaru' radiating some sense of urgency. choi glances over to him, ever smiling, and says honestly: ]
I don't like it.
[ tethers. even if he doesn't say the word aloud, subaru might know this—might have guessed through his reluctance, or perhaps read into it with that sharp insight of his. he could even feel it, if he tried. that vulnerability and uncertainty. the association choi holds between it, and risk. the risk of playing into sleep's very desires for them. the risk of losing himself. the risk of becoming contaminated, just like so many hosts before him. ]
But have you noticed?
[ even as he says it, it's still a mess. he can't direct it well, blindly grasping for whatever amongst the stack of scattered memories he can identify as his.
the images flicker through their connected consciousness. first, a striped, blackened arm that ends in what might be better described as a set of claws than fingers. something that subaru can see plainly in the place of the hand opposite of the one he's holding. contrasted against it: children. they stick close to you, an adult, with faces and bodies covered in pus-filled ulcers, infected mermaid 'tails' dragging behind them as they shuffle forward. it's contamination. the recognition is shared between the two of them.
but contamination has never been a solely physical change.
red. red, like the moon that hangs overhead. red, like the blood that stains his teeth and his tongue. red, as it poured from his wrist, and from that person's, and their shoulder, and—and while shame surrounds the memory, it's absent from the scene itself. euphoria. relief. it transitions back to third person—to a smiling, used-to-be-civilian clerk in a supermarket chain that shouldn't exist. they pull a still sane survivor closer, forcing a struggling arm into a blender with blades sharp enough to gut through skin, through muscle, through bone. and they're no different from those children: slowly dying, unable to so much as wish they could leave the sparkling ocean palace they see projected over the ruined remains of a city. in reality, it's little different from their own manhattan.
at least agent choi can still wish to leave. that thought is grasped tightly in his hand. it squeezes around subaru's as if it's his very last lifeline. as if this tether were the only thing that remains between himself and ruin. it might just be.
because maybe... that caution of his was unwarranted, just this once.
he leans back on the bench, his smile fallen and expression thoughtful. disasters, they tend to have a kind of narrative component to them, don't you think? they play on words, on emotions, on memories and experiences and tropes. they're never entirely baseless, or else there would simply be no way to combat them at all. it's the very thing that allowed their destruction king rookie have earned that name in the first place. with excellent logic, you can see what the ending to that story is—you can close that book.
agent choi isn't kim soleum. neither does he want to be. he can't close this book, not yet, but... maybe he can find a meaning in it.
maybe "connection is what makes us human".
he remembers struggling clearly. he remembers the too large moon and the instincts and impulses it's tried to force on him. he remembers the moments the sun sets, not once or even twice, but every night, and the paranoia it brings. he remembers a cautious comfort at sundown, reluctant but trying. holding his hand out to the person beside him. and he remembers, most of all, a sense of clarity and purpose—a weight lifted from his shoulders, a renewed vigor, as he'd stepped back onto charlottes stage.
he remembers feeling human, more so than he has during any of his time here. in that now so far away moment, he rests his head against subaru's shoulder beside him.
[ He's so close. His shoulders may be delicate, but they've already withstood so much. They can also bear this, even if unused to the mete of gentleness; it's the second time he's felt himself relaxing when given the gift of his weight. All at once, Subaru is no longer casting the eye of the storm, but standing in it alongside him. Even as its vortex smears with all manner of memory, running riot and animal red, refusing to be wielded like the cleaver of his memories, it affords a reprieve among its glimpses of horror.
He sees it now, how long he's been struggling against nightfall. Subaru wanted to protect him so badly that he forced the connection in a moment of weakness and desperation. He doesn't know that he can trust this magic any more than Choi can trust the way these feral instincts have metastasized to his humanity.
But he decided long ago — doing something is better than the comfortable safety of doing nothing.
Is it selfish? It must be. Did he know? He must have.
He gazes at his hand clasped to his own, the tension banded brightly in his knuckles. Hands are a language. He knew this as an onmyouji, knows it now as a runecaster. They are the conduit through which words may be conveyed, the arbiters of all emotion, understanding, and human resonance. When he envisions it, a tether, he imagines something he can glance his fingertips off of, something he can touch. Energy he can bend into forms that better suit the cosmic bloom of his will. It's a language he's sought all his life. And it's terrifying in its potential. Hands are instruments of prayer, connection, and unthinkable violence. Subaru's scars burn, even if they remain unseen.
To feel human is to feel the breadth of it, even in the blinding syllables of regret. If Choi doesn't trust what his hands are becoming in the blood-melting presence of her, then Subaru will trust them for him.
Softly, so softly, he places his other hand over Choi's, thumb tracing the little bones beneath this skin.
So, he doesn't like tethers... ]
Do you like me, then?
[ To invoke, to speak, is the other conduit of language. It's how stories survive. ]
[ the soft gesture is clearly foreign to the deeply scarred hand that accepts it. still, agent choi's gaze flickers up at that, trying to meet subaru's. it's such a simple question, and yet, not at all what choi had expected. the laughter he offers in return escapes him all at once, like a breath long held—all air, little voice. exhausted but sincere. ]
Haha! Sure, let's go with that.
[ it doesn't sound wrong.
agent choi does like his kindness—the heart that seems to bleed into his even though he doesn't quite deserve it at a time like this. perhaps he understands that precious, selfless instinct well enough himself, but it's rarely found in others. he likes that sharp thinking of his, but isn't that a necessity for their line of work? he likes his patience, and the way his too-fast world seems to slow down in a shared moment with him. what do they call that, again? theory of relativity, right? he likes sharing cigarettes with him too, and chatting under a moon that hangs far too close for comfort.
so he can say it easily: ]
Yeah. I like you, Subaru.
[ their connection may not have started out as anything special, or even particularly personal. no more than agent choi's instinct to protect him had been. they're both just exactly that kind of person; they can't turn their backs on someone in danger, or in need. is that the kind of situation it was?
in the beginning, maybe. but somehow, it did become important to him—the hand that was held out to him in a lonely place like this. ]
[ That's better. Laughter is better, even if wrung of its intensity by fatigue. Fatigue is also fine. Fatigue, fear, distrust... they can all be overcome with the right touch, if someone is willing to meet him where he stands. It doesn't even have to be halfway. It can just be this: a feeling, a chance, the half-light of his honesty echoing in the radiant dark. ]
I'm glad. [ His touch traces something on the back of Choi's hand. ] Is that why you kept it?
[ Their tether. ]
Even though I thought... it'd be fine. If you snapped it the moment the fighting was over.
[ Instead, it's become what allows him to be here. It's what allows him to find him every time, no matter how maligned the moonlight is. By his side on the bench. Sunken down into the tempestuous flutter of his soul, transmuting the sigil he draws on his hand from the physical to the spiritual. ]
I resolved to let you do that, if that's what you wanted.
[ his gaze lowers, watching the pattern as it's slowly traced against his hand. ]
Hmm, that seems a little cold though?
[ after subaru went through all that trouble for him, enduring the crashing tsunami of agent choi's tumultuous heart. it strikes him as almost a little ungrateful to toss him aside so easily, though his reasons aren't entirely unselfish either.
if there's going to have to be someone at his side to endure through all of this... someone who he places his faith in, just like that blue eyed boy he'd been trying to reach, and someone he trusts well enough to let himself be seen in a moment of weakness like this? it's a tall order, certainly. even now he finds himself hesitant. reluctant.
but if it has to be someone, out of everyone he's met so far... ]
Well, anyway, I was the one who said we should make the most of what we've got.
[ just as he's done tonight, taking advantage of subaru's kind heart. ]
[ Subaru's gaze flicks aside, even if all he can really stare at in his surprise is the top of his head. Little adorns his expression for once; the words catch him off his guard. His own feelings never factored into his decision. Even if it was momentarily painful or caused discomfort, it'd be a small price to pay if it as for him.
...but isn't this always the way? His clumsy words, sowing hurt even now, no matter how good his intentions are. ]
Maybe you're right.
[ Where his fingers slacked in wonder, they now regain some of their strength. Enough to layer the sigils in a flat band of light on his skin. It permeates down through his physical body, into the tether, through bone and blood and delicate synapse. Subaru delivers this pathfinding spell to him deep in the recesses of his soul where all these memories coalesce. He doesn't force it this time. He wants Agent Choi to choose it. ]
If that's so... [ If he likes him enough. ] will you follow me out of this place?
[ Away from the grinning jaws of succumbence, poised like a trap. ]
[ there's a sense of finality to subaru's invitation—something more than welcome to choi by now. after all, jeez, talk about a long day. to call it exhausting would be an understatement. dangerous too, and perhaps the terrifying embrace of succumbence wrapped around him a little more tightly than even he had fully been prepared for, arranging all this. at the same time... he can't say he regrets the choices that have brought him here.
it's just that going back sounds nice right about now. ]
You're gonna keep holding my hand so I don't get lost?
[ there's a playful, teasing lilt to choi's words, straightening himself up and lifting his head from subaru's shoulder. his eyes rest first on his hand—their hands, really, fingers still intertwined. on the slowly fading glow of the sigil that's sunk into his skin. even dissipated he can feel its presence, warm and familiar. then, he turns his attention to subaru, smiling warmly—tiredly. ]
[ Don't wander from him and he won't have to. More of a sentiment, silvery and strong along the line of the tether, than a conscious thought.
A working exorcist's day is never over, it seems. ]
You can try it. That mark I left to you.
[ Once Choi rights himself, Subaru lets go of him with his topmost hand but keeps hold of him with the other. He pushes to a stand in a flutter of his runecast birds, some of which swoop low and then dart off ahead. Paused there, he finally pulls to beckon him up to his feet. Movement shatters some of succumbence's spell, though he can still feel the circling of its miasma, ready to exploit weakness. And weakness thrives here, in wounds, in scars, in the dream-torn faults of this reality.
Subaru hefts the weight of his hand up. ]
If you're having trouble finding your way, invoke it. It'll show you through.
[ Here, in these streets exsanguinated by the moon, or in the close corners of his heart, where all the things he fears and distrusts might actually dwell. All he needs to do is put his hand against the obstacle and watch the way the light works. ]
but choi will allow himself to be pulled up to his feet, giving his legs a stretch and suppressing the yawn that gathers in the back of his throat. it wasn't such a bad nap, but now it's time to return to the waking world and all the responsibilities that come with it, right? so once he listens to subaru's explanation, choi will go ahead and reluctantly disentangle their hands himself. his shoulder still brushes against the other's, but he holds his out in front of him to examine it.
so it's that kind of spell, huh. ]
Okie-dokie.
[ as eloquent as ever in these broken, still burning remains of what manhattan had once been, he'll close his eyes. his hand is still held out, fingers splayed, but this isn't such a physical obstacle that he's facing anyway. rather, in the midst of these memories that don't belong to him, their sorrow and their fear and the eerie sense of peace that still licks at his heels, pulling and inviting him closer, there's something specific he's looking for. a lifeline that no longer feels quite so delicate as it once was.
and if choi wraps his hand around it, following it to its source...
it will guide him back to their manhattan, where he opens his eyes to a city no less broken, but now familiar enough to call his own.
the space at their feet and all around them is clear now of the blooms that had been attempting to embrace him in the dream, but his scar itches, and subaru will see it ringed around his neck: the beginnings of a kind of fungal lace. it's still early yet though—nothing that an absent set of fingernails can't dislodge, and choi looks down with an expression of distaste as he examines the remains. ]
[ Because Choi is standing here with him now, squarely on the desolate pavement of a red-seethed Manhattan. The one that exists now, the real one — whatever it might count for. His sigil did its job, its ink dark and alive, drawing strength from that of their connection. No longer torn in two, oscillating between the conjured pull of memory and the hymn of the moon, Subaru can also breathe easier.
Though his expression does briefly snag on his scar's latticed intruder. He holds his hand out for it. ]
Nah. Well, it's kind of uncomfortable, but that's just from touching it.
[ this scar, it's probably easy to tell just by looking at it that it hasn't healed so well, but he'll place the latticed fungal growth in subaru's hand anyway if that's what he wants. his fingers linger for just a moment as they brush against his skin. then it's a glance to the ink marking the back of his hand, back to subaru, and choi'll reach that hand around to rest on his opposite shoulder, pulling him a little closer.
his grin starts off bright—proud, even. ]
Anyway, I knew I picked the right guy for the job~
[ Jostled close, Subaru's gaze flicks aside, surprise muted but sincere. There's a comfort in it, the weight of his arm and his warmth and the irreverence of it being work, nothing more and nothing less than that — his fingers close around the piece of growth. It then lowers, finality in that action, too. ]
You can call on me anytime.
[ He nudges into his side. ]
We shouldn't stay here long. It's still not safe.
[ And, in leaving behind the bench, in moving forward, a quiet glyph ignites in his palm, burning the growth to ash in his closed fist. Let it be a warning to the rest of it. ]
[ It's been two weeks since the incident, and Caelus finally left the hotel for the first time in a while. He's so happy to be able to walk outside again! But he knows he shouldn't push it too much, so he's not going to run around like a hyper raccoon or do any crazy parkour moves yet. He did, however, bring his skateboard, so it'll allow some ease of movement on his legs. So he rolls forward, onward to his destination.
The usual stop, in the Chelsea neighborhood. The soft sunshine easily replenishes some more energy to Caelus, who undoubtedly appreciates the light after weeks of constant dark crimson. So he's all smiles as he stops by the familiar trailer in the parking lot he's come to know so well. He peeks around the area first, checking if the trailer's handsome owner is around the parking lot or the fire pit. Tip-toe. Tip-toe.
Then, he sees a recognizable silhouette at the window. He quietly comes up to it and tips himself up, but he can only reach with the upper half of his head. His gray hair and golden eyes are visible from the frame. How long until he's noticed, he wonders. He stays there, not saying anything yet! ]
[ Upon his arrival, nothing changes for a moment. The silhouette insides carries on just as it had been, moving and rearranging things around the trailer. He's somehow managed two homes now, the apartment housing his day to day needs and the trailer becoming a shrine of sorts for his spellcasting. It's well-fortified and as lovely as the day Caelus gifted to him, if not moreso — it's got Subaru's touches all about it now, too.
Then, it's not Subaru who notices him first. At least not technically. ]
Just here to spy? Or would you like to come in?
[ — Subaru's voice from overhead, quiet and slightly echoed. One of his paper birds sits on the roof of the trailer, peering down at Caelus. This one looks more realistic. It's bigger and more refined than its fat, tiny cousins. Subaru's voice was projected from it by the rune that glows faintly on its back. It pauses, then specifies: ]
Not through the window.
[ Inside, his movements have slowed, knowing. Onmyouji are difficult to sneak up on. ]
[ Considering how well Caelus knows Subaru by now, one would think he should've expected something like this, especially since he's so well-bonded with the onmyouji's paper birds. But it still catches the trailblazer off guard, mostly because of his excitement overtaking his sense of reason. He ends up jumping backwards from being startled, losing balance in the process. ]
Wa— wah, wah—!!
[ Caelus quickly tries to swing his arms to grab hold of the window frame, his two palms landing right on it as he ends up in a funny position out there. Thankfully, he doesn't fall over and hurt himself. He lets out a relieved sigh, then feels a bit embarrassed. ]
Sorry! [ Then, Caelus is about to enter through the window (raccoon…) but gets stopped by Subaru before he even raises his foot. Subaru knows him pretty well now too, it seems! ] Ah. Y— yes!
[ Straightening up, Caelus lets go of the window now, so he can go over to the small staircase and enter through the door properly. He knocks once before opening it to slide inside, then leaves his skateboard by the doorway. Once in, he quickly runs over to his dearest, and is about to embrace him, but—!? ]
[ Caelus freezes just before the hug because a certain creature keeps making noise from inside his messenger bag and interrupting his moment. It's not visible yet. Well, except for its fat gray tail sticking out from the bag. … But this won't stop him, so he connects the embrace eventually, even as the squishy little noise keeps going nonstop now. "Muni! Munimuni!" ]
[ Waiting patiently for Caelus to peel himself from the window and make his way in through the door proper, Subaru feels just a touch vindicated. He thought that's what he might be trying to do. Knowing how hard it was for the trailblazer to be on bedrest (or something like it...), he can't risk him doing something silly and setting himself back.
However, when he finally comes in properly, Subaru finds himself likewise stilled at the half-enacted embrace, brows rising somewhat. In the trailer, he's obviously been busy. It looks like some kind of magical study: it's stacked with books, some for reading and some for harvesting paper, various pens and writing utensils cracked open for their inks and graphite, writings tacked to the wall, candles, drying fungal blooms, a small pile of string and bells. All things in approximation of his craft, now altered by Sleep's magic. Given a place of practice now, thanks to the one trotting through his door. ...With company by the looks — sounds? — of it.
His gaze flicks to the messenger back, then back up to Caelus. ]
It's good to see you out and about again. [ Let him start with that. Behind him, the kitchenette is actually flecked with dirt. His fingertips and palms are also smeared in soil. ] You... brought someone with you?
[ Finally able to say the greeting. 🌸 Ignoring the tiny noises for several seconds, Caelus takes his time enjoying the fond embrace before letting go. It's been almost two weeks without Subaru's company, so he missed him! Let him have this! Finally, once happily satisfied, the trailblazer takes a step back. He's wearing much less bandages compared to last week, indicating that he's almost entirely healed. Maybe in another week or two, he'll be bandage-free. Then, he nods to answer the question. It's time to introduce his new friend.
So Caelus shifts to open the bag, and almost immediately, the cake-shaped trash cat leaps out and lands on Subaru's shoulder. It lets out another "myuu" before sitting on the shoulder comfortably. The cake cat is very pudgy and soft. ]
It seems both of us have been busy experimenting.
[ That's what this creature is. Caelus eventually managed to figure out how to create his own homunculus after days and days of failed attempts. He was bored at the hotel, stuck in bed, so what's he to do? All he had for company most hours in the day was his amassed collection of trash and other materials. Thus, the experiments commenced.
Now that the trailblazer has the chance to look around, he excitedly turns while letting Subaru bond with the cake cat. His excited pair of eyes observes the impressive progress that the onmyouji has accomplished here. ]
Are you studying something in particular, or are you attempting new things as I did?
[ Oh! Subaru's expression lightens when the cat literally comes out of the bag. Very carefully minding its perch on his shoulder, he wipes his dirty hands on a nearby cloth before reaching up to gently scratch his fingertips under its chin. It's really cute... ]
— it's not studying, exactly. Here, take a look.
[ Standing aside with his hand to support his soft, fluffy cargo, Subaru uses his other to indicate a big plastic bucket in his sink. It's filled with potting soil; the open bag of it sits on the floor by the counter. And most importantly, there a few healthy vines planted in it, some with tiny bulbs of growing fruit on them. ]
After the sun finally rose again, these plants were growing from the concrete nearby. They don't look touched by rot. [ Even if — it gives him pause. These are surely her work, but he hasn't looked beyond that yet. He can guess the reason for a blessing to be fulfilled after the last few weeks. ] It took some effort to uproot them, but if they can be kept alive like this...
[ It speaks for itself. They'd have a more reliable food source. ]
[ The cake cat's pudgy body relaxes further, clearly appreciating the attention. It lets out baby-sounding motor sounds… Maybe rubbing itself against that gentle hand, too.
When Subaru calls Caelus's attention to the sink, the trailblazer walks over to peek at what could be over there. His curious eyes increase in size once he realizes what this is. These plants look quite interesting (in fact, they look rather beautiful compared to the cursed plants around here), and the fruit looks… actually quite good! ]
Wha… It looks so fresh! What is this?
[ When Subaru mentions it hasn't been infected by the rot yet, Caelus's excitement skyrockets. He hasn't seen these plants yet, considering this is the first time in a while that he's gone out of the hotel. ]
Could it be, there are more living creatures out there that possibly still survived the rot like this one? I thought they were all gone, at least here in Manhattan… This is amazing!
[ "Myuu! Myuu!" Even their newest friend seems to be celebrating with them. ]
[ Subaru smiles a bit at the cat's agreement, giving it a pat in response. ]
There's no way for me to prove it, but... [ His free hand lowers into the bucket to very gently twist some of the leaves in his fingers. It tempers some of his hesitation, the reality of the sensation, how cool and alive it feels to his touch. Even now, some weeks later, what happened beneath the red glow of the cathedral's glass is a sore spot for many. ] Given the timing, it may be a blessing for those who offered something in the cathedral.
[ This is closely related to his line of work, after all. Dealings with gods, with the divine, with sacrifice. And, hopefully — what everyone wishes for at the end of the suffering. The reward. ]
That's just my opinion, however. There's no way for me to know unless Sleep contacts us directly about it.
[ A blessing for those who offered. Caelus seems to fall quiet after hearing that answer, remembering something sharply. Seconds later, he shows Subaru directly. It's easier to explain after the older man sees it for himself.
A baseball bat not of this world. Caelus materializes it by holding his hand out, and it shines blue, then takes a physical shape that he can touch. Once he holds it, it looks natural on him, as if seeing two that reunited after a long time. ]
I think you might be right, because I regained this…
[ It may not be an official confirmation for the plant itself, but this is still solid proof that Sleep is rewarding them for their sacrifices. Though Caelus is glad to have one of his weapons back, he can't fully appreciate it right now because he gained it through horrible means. And he doesn't like the idea of Sleep rewarding them for their pain.
The cake cat senses its master's sadness, and starts trembling against Subaru's hand. ]
[ Plucking the cat from his shoulder, he brings it down to hold securely in his arms instead. Its squishy cake back presses gently to his middle. Hopefully, that placates some of its nervousness. Then he takes a moment to study the baseball bat and the blue light it throws about the interior of the trailer. He's certainly never seen anything like it...
But more than that, he senses the conflict that its presence draws to the surface, the remembrance and the discomfort of knowing his worst actions were rewarded with something that's clearly important to him. ]
My friend told me that I shouldn't blame myself, but I can't help feeling this way. I… I wish I were stronger that time. I couldn't help him at all…
[ Failing to protect, then landing himself in that situation… Maybe he earned these injuries as punishment. It feels horrible to fail to help, especially someone he cares for. That's why he didn't expect Sleep to reward him for it. The thought makes him feel sick. ]
But it already happened, and I can't do anything about it now. I have to… be stronger for next time. So, I don't want this to become a weakness of mine. With it, I'll change things.
[ Caelus clutches his baseball bat, straightening up as he looks at Subaru once more. The cake cat eases, feeling both the comfort of the onmyouji and the renewed determination from the trailblazer. He smiles just a little. ]
Never give up, even if I lose.
[ Familiar words. The mood is different from the first time he said it, but his spirit is unchanged. He still means every word. ]
[ Listening quietly, Subaru finally takes a step forward when he's once again given audience to those words. In any context, the trailblazer wears them well. Vastness, almost too effulgent to grasp, felt in the way he wields them like Subaru is certain he wields that bat. He lifts the cat up and places it back down on Caelus's shoulder, giving it a soft pet between the ears as he does so. ]
No one is without weaknesses. But they're important hallmarks for what path you've chosen to take.
[ He doesn't specify in what way — each person is different. Those like Caelus, a trailblazer, use them as beacons to denote what must change in order to become strong. For people like Subaru, a fate-chosen Seal, they lie at the crux of his soul, enshrined. Governance for how he interacts with the world.
Pulling his hands away, he motions to a few more vines he'd carefully extracted from the broken concrete, laying next to the sink ]
There's more, if you'd like to help me replant them. I'm not sure all of them will survive, but it's worth trying.
[ Once Subaru steps closer and places the jiggly creature on Caelus, the trailblazer's bat dissipates gently, tiny lights coming apart and fading into the air. Now with his hands freed again, he does a pumped-up, energetic gesture with them.
Meanwhile, the cake cat decides to curl up into the younger boy's hood, turning it into a cat carrier. ]
Yes, of course! Please, let me help. [ Wait. He just remembered. ] … Oh!
[ Now his hand rummages his messenger bag again, shortly taking out a very recognizable long jacket. It has a pleasant baby powder scent (the smoke scent is gone), and it appears to be treated well, indicated by its clean look and well-folded state.
A familiar sticky note is on it, too. Clumsily written on it, in English it reads, "SUARIU, TAANK YUU! IT WAS RIERY WARM. COMFIE. 😊" It's signed with, "CAARUS CAELUU " ]
Let me go ahead and put this away for you first. Where shall I put it?
[ Surprise briefly touches his features. In truth, he'd nearly forgotten about the coat he'd lent out all those nights ago in the cathedral. Though it's one of the only things he brought from home, if it was ruined in the process, it wouldn't have really shocked him. There wasn't much hope in leaving that place untouched by its effects, let alone the blood. So seeing it proudly held aloft in Caelus's hands, cleaned even of its smoke scent, stills him. Just long enough to catch the words on the sticky note; those little notes have really pulled their weight. More than once, even.
Opting to keep the note where it is for now, Subaru indicates the small cabinet above the stairs that leads into the bedroom. ]
— thank you, those doors there. You can set it on the top shelf.
[ He's going to prepare another bucket, meanwhile...
The interior of the tiny closet space isn't much to look at either, aside from a half-empty carton of cigarettes, some clothing items, the decorative box Aventurine left him, and an old cup full of various writing utensils. ]
[ Turning around to do so, Caelus heads down the hallway to deposit the freshly laundered long jacket in the right place. When the trailblazer opens the cabinet, the cake cat decides to jump into it… ]
Hey. [ "Muni?" ] Don't "what?" me. Come out of there.
[ "Munimuni. Muu. Myuyu." ]
No! That's not— [ "Myu, myuu!" ] I said n— no! Don't laugh at me! Anyway, I said to come out.
[ The cake cat ignores him… It's making itself right at home in that cabinet, causing the trailblazer to make a "I can't believe this little punk" face. Caelus has to really reach into the cabinet to reach and pull out the cake cat, which lets out some whining afterward. He sets the cat on the floor after, allowing it to play elsewhere than to curl up on Subaru's clean clothes…
Once the cat starts rolling around Subaru's floor to explore the space, Caelus returns to the older man's side and smiles nervously. A bit embarrassed. ]
Sorry about him. Galactic Baseballer Jr. likes to break the rules. I'm actually surprised by how well-behaved he is when you held him earlier! He never sits still like that for me.
Really? [ Brows lifted as Subaru passes a small bag of potting soil to Caelus, he glances to the cake cat now scuttling about on the floor. He doesn't seem like he would've minded if he stayed in his closet, if that's where he wanted to be. Chores can be terribly boring to witness, he knows. But neither does he want to waste Caelus's responsible efforts... ] He seems polite enough to me.
[ Briefly, Subaru and Galactic Baseballer Jr. meet each other's eyes. He smiles a bit. ]
Isn't that so?
[ He watches it puff its body up proudly before leaving it to its adventuring. ]
You made him? [ Subaru turns his attention back to the task, turning the faucet on to wet the soil. ] He has your magical signature.
[ Once Caelus receives the soil, he's extra careful with it, making sure the plant stays safe as he starts helping to replant them. He keeps his eyes focused on the task, but continues to chat lightheartedly. He shortly laughs after hearing Subaru describe Galactic Baseballer Jr. as polite. ]
You should have seen him after he was born. He messed up my room and ate some of my precious materials. Punk!
[ He worked hard to collect those! What is he going to do now? He'll have to start all over again to find more. But he can't roam around too much yet, since he's still on the way to full recovery. He's still on the therapy part, trying to move his muscles a little more (through these walks) so they can recover better… He'll have to wait to restock. ]
Ah, but yes! I did. It seems this is part of my new abilities as well.
Galactic Baseballer Jr. isn't my original creation, though; I have a biologist friend from my universe who designed these creatures. But I know their DNA structures because I work as her assistant, I have created more of them to increase their population, and also further developed them from their original forms.
[ Caelus is impressed that Subaru can tell easily from a glance, but it makes sense that he can. Subaru's really talented as a spellcaster! Galactic Baseballer Jr. is also impressed, so it rolls over to the onmyouji's feet and starts fondly rubbing itself against them, purring audibly. ]
You think Galactic Baseballer Jr. is too long a name? I'm trying to think of a nickname for him. Galaxy? Baseballer? … Baller?
[ It carries the same signature as the brief curls of magic he's felt from Caelus here and there, even if none ever really manifested fully in front of him yet. It was also a simple enough conclusion to reach after hearing that he'd been on bedrest and left to experiment with his abundance of free time. ...Subaru can't deny that he'd do any differently, really, especially since he's not let up at all in studying and practicing his spellcasting since arriving in Manhattan. ]
Babies do tend to navigate with their mouths. [ Uncertain of what something is? Into the maw it goes. Subaru regards its purring kindly. ] Aren't all things that are just born going to want to eat and grow? Even if it's unfortunate for your collection...
[ whose side is this guy on?? — anyway...
Subaru picks up one of the vining stalks and hands it to Caelus to plant. ]
You probably shouldn't call it Baller. [ His opinion is purely professional. ] He looks like a dessert, though. What about drawing inspiration from that?
[ That's true, huh? … Caelus is suddenly making a "Σ(° □ ° ˶)" face, looking quite guilty. Guess who shoved weird stuff in his own mouth after awakening for the first time? There were so many things that fascinated this space raccoon on his activation day!
But then it shortly turns into "(•̀ ⤙ •́ ˶)!!" face when Caelus realizes that Subaru's being biased!? for the cake cat!! Understandable, but still!? Can't stop him from being jealous of the cat. Little punk just got here today! For five minutes!
Galactic Baseballer Jr. keeps purring at Subaru's feet, but takes a short pause to look at Caelus. … "Munimuni. Myuu!" The trailblazer's eyes stare in disbelief after hearing the cat's words, but he attempts not to react. No, he can't look lame in front of Subaru. His heart is a calm leaf on still waters.
Calm. He gently receives the vining stalk to continue working quietly, trying to maintain a zen smile. But his tether is a different story, isn't it? That tether is inconveniently spilling how jealous he is right now. ]
[ Though Subaru is none the wiser about the conversation that just transpired, he can feel the spark of it illuminate across the tether. Amusement drifts in slow, sedate curls — just as calmly, Subaru uses the plants as a means to keep the peace. They're delicate and require a little concentration, after all.
(But he isn't kicking the cat off his feet, either.) ]
[ The trailblazer has yet to eat food like that, since none of the planets he's been through so far are similar to Japan. But Caelus looks very interested, seems to be really considering "Anko" as a name. Whatever it is, he has a good feeling it's fitting, especially as Subaru picked it out. He trusts his judgment, after all.
Galactic Baseballer Jr. — soon "Anko," starts jumping in excitement and emitting a bright, flowery aura. It seems to like the name, too. ]
[ Subaru's mistake is kneeling down. Now, after being patted, Anko is encouraged to get more of his attention. So a second later, the little cake cat leaps, and its soft, pudgy mass lands right into the onmyouji's arms. It lets out another pleased "myuu" and melts into those arms, with no intention of leaving, no matter what Caelus says. ]
Hmm.
[ 💢 … Whatever! Caelus is going to concentrate on his task. This is for Subaru's sake, so he has to finish it properly! At the very least, Caelus can listen to Subaru's explanation (therefore, hearing his lovely voice more), and he's content with that for now. ]
I hope that I can get to eat that sometime. It sounds delicious.
It's popular enough that we might have the chance to find some, someday.
[ As a baseline, nothing scavenged is all that fresh, even packaged, but the possibility isn't zero. There are so few of them that he's certain they haven't uncovered all that there is in a city as big and porous as this. Accepting the cat into his arms, he gives it a brief moment to gloat before lifting it to his shoulder and prompting it to take a seat there. Quietly, with an admonishing boop to its nose: ]
There. Behave, if you can. [ The Okay? is implicit, but seems to do the trick. Casting a glance now to the second bucket of vines, Subaru's expression leans thoughtful. ] If anything, seeing real plant life here has shifted the scale of what's possible...
[ Though he's not certain he'd like to experience something akin to the cathedral's beckoning every time, either. ]
For now, we can place them outside. If they really are Sleep's blessing, then what sunlight we have should be fine.
[ Subaru certainly knows how to uplift both of the trash-loving creatures in this room. Caelus smiles at the thought of eating anko (the sweet dessert) someday, then Anko (the trash cake cat) myuus in agreement, obediently following the onmyouji's instructions for it. Anko settles on Subaru's shoulder, gently walking around a little on it before curling up around his neck like a warm scarf.
Why is it so loyal to Subaru, even though its master is Caelus!?
The real answer is because Caelus's Artificer magic isn't stable yet, but he doesn't know this. In the future, any more homunculi will also be as rebellious, but they'll be more obedient to him once he has become stronger. ]
All right! These are done, so let me help you carry them.
[ Since Caelus's natural strength is impressive, he can carry heavier weights, and thus makes it upon himself to do most of the lifting. He follows Subaru outside, looking around for a nice, safe place to deposit the plants. ]
Maybe I should build a small greenhouse for you here sometime.
[ In time, with more exposure to the capabilities of Artificers, Subaru might gain insight on the trash cat's case of the rebellion blues. For now... well. He does make a very cute little scarf. And it's probably fine, to attribute a little misbehaving to simply being a baby.
On the way out to the front of the trailer, Subaru shakes his head. It would be a sight to see, but he wonders if the effort will bear enough fruit, both literally and figuratively. ]
If these vines survive, it could be a valuable asset to everyone here. Although I wonder if I'm here enough to tend to them right... I couldn't ask you to put in that much more work, in that case.
[ The trailblazer may not have tapped into his full magical potential, but he's no less an architect for the settlements they've been raising around the city. He is also a light, shaking loose the dust from the disused corners, transmuting what he touches for the better. Around the front door, there's a clear space where he's stacked an upside down milk crate. He spends much of his time outdoors, so if his observations are correct, they should catch the most light there. And as he indicates where Caelus can put them, his expression briefly flickers. ]
...is it really alright? For you to be lifting so much. Your injury still isn't healed fully.
[ It's in the care with which he moves, the intermittent says of bedrest keeping him from his typical travels. ]
Don't worry. Remember? I'm stronger than I look. And please, rely on me more— I'm a Trailblazer, after all. This is part of my mission. Even then… I love helping you, Subaru.
[ It's a tiny, happy reminder that Subaru did agree that time when Caelus said the first statement about being strong, back when they first met. It's been quite a while since then… Realizing that, Caelus makes a nostalgic smile as he laughs gently. ]
Time really passes, doesn't it? It feels like yesterday that I met you, but it's been two months…
[ Heading closer to the crate, Caelus carefully puts down the haul, making sure the plants are centered properly on it. His movements are a little slower than normal, but he looks fine for the most part. As long as he doesn't push himself too much, it'll be all right.
Wanting Subaru to worry less, Caelus decides to lighten the mood. ]
I'll tell you something. Mr. Sakurazuka is heavier than these plants!
[ As the plants slot into the spot he made for them by Caelus's capable hands, Subaru is left to think about the bridge of time and distance. Almost no time has passed at all in the scale of things, but the breadth of the experience has left it feeling long in his mind's eye. It's more time than he thought he had, at any rate.
More than he sometimes knows what to do with. And still... days like this are nice, likewise tinged in the soft tones of nostalgia. ]
Yes, it does. And you've been helping me since we met.
[ More than he likely knows. More than Subaru can explain. It's no small feat for someone who's entire lineage fell to him before his age hit the double digits. But his brief reverie stalls, instinctual. Whatever thought he'd almost gotten lost in fades. ]
...Seishirou-san is? [ His head cants as if he thinks he misheard. ] How do you know that?
[ Whether or not Subaru is conscious of this, Caelus wants to say it directly either way. Perhaps all those past words of gratitude helped the onmyouji realize it, but the trailblazer will never pass up chances to remind him of his appreciative feelings. This warmth is real, and he intends to keep it that way.
As the days pass, Caelus's determination to accomplish all he strives for only grows stronger. Seeing Subaru's lightened expression, looking so adorably curious, the younger one easily renews a radiant smile. ]
Also, I'm not the only one who wants this.
[ Rather than explain, it's easier to show him through their tether. How did Caelus know? And who else wants Caelus to be here?
So once the plants are nicely secured, he straightens up and connects their hands. Two hands holding another pair, he gives them a gentle squeeze before he thinks of that day. The memories flash for Subaru. The moment Caelus yells, "Watch out!", the memories are clear. A desperate, but successful escape. The brief bonding on the rooftop. The promise. ]
[ It's strange, how common words feel as if they carry the weight of the world when Caelus says them. Having traveled many — maybe they do. When beckoned, Subaru allows his pale hands to rest in Caelus's as a means of invoking their tether's conduit. Part of him is lost on what he should expect to see following that series of statements... but the tether draws clear most things, and this is no exception.
He almost can't believe his eyes.
Or at least the imprint of sight over his own, detailing the memory. Surprise gusts through him in several shades; not least of all thanks to the incessance of the moon creatures' hunt that Seishirou had tried to hide from him, but the ensuing row, the pipe, the bat, the viscera and the howling, the unceremonious toss that lands the man of his dreams and of his nightmares across the roof of a building like a bug on a windshield. Subaru is somewhat glad he doesn't have to imagine it, because he doesn't think he could on his own. But oh, he knows. Exactly what thoughts prowled the narcotic edges of the Sakurazukamori's sterling propriety in that moment. Instinctively, he tightens his fingers.
Only the following conversation staunches the flow of his emotions. Please look after him. It lances through him with the alacrity of lightning, an anxious static blooming across the back of his neck. The connection shivers with it, shies, knotting the fibers of his heart into a daisy chain of unanswered inquiry. ...Is he always the last to know? What measures Sakurazuka Seishirou will take to close his fist around the hollow of his heart and claim it only when it's too late?
Irony. A brilliance calculated by one of the most skilled onmyouji of their time. Sumeragi Subaru has always been one step behind the Sakurazukamori.
Memories seethe through the gentle cracks, but none quite manifest. Not the Kamui wearing the face of Monou Fuuma. Not the last wish now made second-to-last. Not here, in the wake of sunlight and blessings. Something seems to burn alive on the backs of his hands, but Subaru's skin remains smooth, unbroken. ]
...I see. [ Slowly, as if his tongue is suddenly ill-fit to his mouth. But he finds the strength this time, grip fortifying. ] Thank you, Caelus. For protecting him.
[ The torrent of emotions, Caelus expected them, so he manages to brace himself when it all crashes across the two of them. He won't pretend he understands anything between these two, because he doesn't. He's even more confused after seeing Subaru's memories at the cathedral that crimson night. Because those were obviously not pleasant memories in any way, yet… what is this feeling mixed along their tether? It's complicated, so much so, that the trailblazer can't pinpoint what emotions are present and exactly how many.
But Caelus doesn't need to. He can tell enough that these two are so, so lonely. And they care so much for each other, but they somehow can't extend that properly at all. There's nothing that Caelus can really do but be there. To be right here. That's what he'll continue to do without faltering. To protect these two souls, to give them the chance he promised… Perhaps one day, this uncertain torrent of emotions will transform into something else. So he steps closer to end the remaining distance between them.
Mindful of Anko, Caelus wraps his arms around Subaru's shoulders as he embraces him tightly, squeezing with all his spirit. Perhaps finally, he did manage to repay one part of this delicate onmyouji's neverending kindness. ]
Subaru, you are incredibly loved. I hope you don't diminish that from your heart.
[ His tether flares, fades back. Subaru's grip on his composure whispers over it like warm steel and presses it low again. Just out of reach.
It's obscured not by choice, but by the gentle, undiscriminating opaqueness of his own heart.
He is... loved. Doubt scrawls itself in ink-hues over the sound of his blood as it pulses, hot with fear, in his ears. He is loved, he thinks. He thinks it, over and over. He thinks its meaning, its misunderstanding, what it signifies to be here in the aftermath of it. He no longer hopes, having what he most sought pushed into his hands in a wasting moment of utter destruction. Also a brilliance calculated by the ephemeral heart of a jealous, jealous man. Subaru is loved in ways he doesn't understand for himself; what he does understand is that Sakurazuka Seishirou means to wield Caelus against him in his vast, unerring capacity for hope. Hope enough for the stars.
Arms coming around his shoulders makes him jolt slightly, out from the thoughts he coils like a serpent's scales at the bottom of his soul. Exhaling softly, he gives himself to the strength of Caelus's embrace for a moment, his much softer grip steadied on his sides. If he can just leave it at that... it's better, he thinks.
Anko shuffles on his shoulders, prompting him to pull away slightly. Hands soft on him for a moment, Subaru pushes, the ghost of a movement. ]
We should get you back inside. I'll make you some tea.
[ The fading of the connection, the sharp hesitation, the motion of an obvious doubt, the lack of response… The nail in the coffin is stepping away, being pushed. The cruel combination of everything causes Caelus's heart to tighten, his eyes widening slightly in intense concern and loneliness. It hurts. He never thought Subaru would be this much withdrawn.
Of course, he's aware it wouldn't be easy. He was prepared for it. But this much? Was everything Caelus built from the start all just… an illusion? He thought he was going somewhere. Maybe this is his own fault. What could he have done better? He should've been more patient… Should he persist? But what if doing so will make it worse? For now, maybe he should… should follow Subaru's instructions quietly.
Even if his heart is screaming something else. He tries to smile, coming out a little awkwardly, but still sincerely. ]
… Ah, yes. All right.
[ Anko trembles again, but makes no move to leave. Seemingly knows what Caelus really wants to do, so it stays right where it is. Close, right on Subaru. Caelus follows the two inside, his hands closing into tight grips. ]
[ It ripples in his peripherals, hazy and loud, as if something detonated behind his eyes — and it had. Love and Sakurazuka and — mori, his feverish mind supplies. Even as he moves back inside with his typical pace and poise, going so far as to lift a hand to soothe at Anko's shivering, there's something he's focusing on blinking back. Whatever has rooted in his heart and blossomed violently at the mention sows possession and conflict in a way that even his tether can't properly convey.
There is something else in there with him, always. Prowling, strong, fated. His equilibrium shifts with invisible memory, with the falling reminders, and only when his actions seem to settle back in his body, the pot of water, the cup, the tea, does Subaru's tether thump uneasily back to the surface.
Sensations float over it like the colors of an oil spill, refusing to mix in the brief interlude of connection; those colors are Caelus's hurt, the spark of loneliness that might ignite it.
It's not precisely guilt and not precisely sorrow that he feels. It is... acknowledgement, tender in the recesses of his overused heart. ]
It's not your fault.
Spoiler warning for Amphoreus going onward (canon updating)
[ As Caelus observes Subaru's gestures, his head suddenly starts to pound. It comes with no warning. He squints his eyes, trying to focus his vision on the figure of the person that matters so much to him, but it's not working. His vision gradually splits, seeing the onmyouji's body fade right before his eyes. His golden eyes dim, the room spins, and the last thing he witnesses is the floor.
Caelus loses consciousness with half-open eyes, the light within them gone. The slam to the floor is not kind, and the Stellaron within his chest bursts with a golden glow, pulsing over and over. Anko lets out a distressed mewl, repeating the same cry as its trembling worsens.
"… Do you think you can try, Subaru? I wonder if you can calm it as well, if needed."
"If it comes to that, I'll try."
For you.
Physically, it doesn't seem like Caelus is breathing, but he's alive. His tether is alive, just… somewhere else. Somewhere so far away, beyond anyone's reach at this moment. Should Subaru attempt to communicate with that tether, he'll be taken along into those distant dreams. A dream of a fallen planet far beyond Earth.
Amphoreus.
The sound of book pages being turned can be heard somewhere on the horizon. A girl's voice will echo, saying, "My Darling… My Deliverer… Over here." With one turn towards the voice, her silhouette will be there, waiting. She reaches her hand out, beckoning. Subaru stands in this strange space, alone at first, but Caelus's figure soon appears. He runs past the onmyouji, seemingly unable to see him. Subaru is now a dreamwalker once more, here to witness it all as the book pages turn. ]
[ It always comes to that. His breath catches, sensitivities flaying his reservations raw.
Something flares in the comfortable confines of this place that isn't home but sometimes feels it. It nearly happens against a plane of time that isn't the one they occupy — it draws long and echoing. It reaches through and it slows the painful thump that sears through their tether, the dim flutter of gold that rolls back until it takes him. Caelus's fall rattles the walls of his home and his heart. Instantly, his emotions disappear back into the inscrutable well of his heart so that all else guiding him can resurface into the strong, fluid tether they share. Moonlight shearing bright because of the will of the sun. ]
Caelus?
[ Action, because the price of inaction comes at a cost too steep to bear. Subaru barely has time to breathe his name before one swift movement takes him to his knees at the trailblazer's side. One hand steadies on his cheek to hold his head up, the other presses down on the golden light of his Stellaron leaking from his chest. He steels, magic burning on his palm, invoked with such power that ink winds up his arms in bold, runic strokes. ]
Caelus! Can you hear me?
[ But nothing comes. Not even breathing. Only the presence of their tether gives Subaru any indication that he is alive, but in his effort to grip it and follow it through to wherever he's gone, gentleness seared by dread, it plunges him into —
Not his soul. But a dream.
He inhales quietly as Caelus, alive, goes running past him. Relief floods him, colliding with his curiosity as he wheels around to look in the direction that he takes.
[ Static. The sounds of turning pages. The sounds of soft whirring, sharp clicking. Question. "What is the prime mover of life?"
The voice that asked is distorted, so it's impossible to tell what the person is like. The voice seems everywhere at once, but always seems to be whispering right into Subaru's ears. A short laugh follows.
"The answer is… Destruction. The fear of Destruction keeps life moving forward."
The girl in the horizon makes a sad expression. But once Caelus reaches her, the girl's smile is renewed. The silhouettes of the two disappear shortly, and then a series of flashes begin.
"33,550,337 cycles. At the end of the 33,550,337th cycle, the death of a God will finally occur!"
The memories of this tragic planet are nothing but a series of recurring deaths. This is all to perfect the equation of Destruction: "Eternal Recurrence." To earn the gaze of the Aeon of Destruction. Following that, it's to birth the Lord Ravager, Irontomb, into the waking universe. In order to kill that particular God.
And so, over and over again, Subaru is subjected to witnessing the cycle of destruction. The early cycles start small— petty crimes, unfortunate murders. But as the numbers grow, the destruction worsens. Famines, pandemics… And more. Wars, genocides. The people have never stopped suffering— their tears never dry. Their voices never stop echoing. Despite everything, they've never given up. They keep standing up, moving on to continue living. They get stronger at every new cycle.
Stronger, and stronger. Destruction is the prime mover of life, just like that voice said. That voice returns again, sounding amused, clapping in the distance as if they're merely an audience. And this is all just a show.
"Oh, it appears there's an unfamiliar face here. But you're just a lost soul, aren't you? You can't do anything but watch." The voice reveals itself finally, underneath a spotlight. A strange entity stands there, staring at Subaru with a sharp, cold curiosity. It's the complete opposite of Caelus's innocent curiosity. Not the gaze of someone who wishes to connect with someone wholeheartedly, but instead, the gaze of someone who looks at the subject like a common lab rat.
To be studied, then discarded. Just like this planet, Amphoreus.
"No matter. You can't interfere, so might as well make yourself comfortable… And witness the end to this story!" ]
[ A path of destruction never starts with the grandeur of a finale. No, it starts with the blight of misunderstanding, with sins born from desperation stretched to their limit. Subaru has lived but one single lifetime and yet that knowledge touches him all the same — the debt that causes parents to take the lives of their children, the corruption that stains the houses of whole bloodlines, the will to summon a dangerous demon for vengeance. People curse their gods as a means of control, curse each other as collateral. War, famine, a planet in ruin. It all starts so very small, and he thinks no one person is ever meant to bear the cycle from start to finish.
In his one lifetime, he sees this similar path in its infancy.
To witness it millions upon millions of times... he can't look away, nor can he seem to bear it. Knowing a forest burned to the ground will rise anew from the fertile soil doesn't ease the pain of the loss, of all that died in it. It doesn't protect it from that same fate.
His heart aches with a sensation too vast for him to contain it in, cut through only by the voice that singles him out in this dream. Subaru's expression steels and he doesn't look away; he isn't afraid of whatever entity it is that greets him, taunting and sure. He knows he doesn't belong. He's no Dreamseer, no traveler of the stars. Only his thunderous, unyielding connection to Caelus keeps him here. And whatever this dream and the tether that guides him through it mean to show him, he will watch for him and not simply out of an inability to do nothing.
Even if he can only look on. Even if there's nothing his two hands can do to save the planet as its revolutions wheel on and on, towards ruin every time.
[ CYCLE 50,121. The gaze of the Aeon of Destruction has taken deep interest in the recurring annihilations. Hundreds, thousands, millions of lives massacred over, and over, and over, and over. The planet eventually dies, only to be revived and killed all over again. 50,121 times.
But it's not enough. Being able to destroy a planet isn't enough to kill a God. And so, it continues on.
The strange entity appears beside Subaru again, seated comfortably on a couch. He crosses his legs and lets out a dramatic sigh. "Lost soul, what is your name? Hmm, perhaps I'll call you…" Seconds later, multiple lights scan Subaru's body. Quick, efficient. "Aha. You will be PleiD219. You may call me Lygus."
176,200. Irontomb has learned inheritance. Rather than start from ground zero at every cycle reset, it shall inherit and execute all the necessary processes to evolve further. These petty little deaths do not matter anymore. They need to ascend further, closer and closer into divinity themselves.
7,091,231. Humans have truly ascended. They're now capable of killing demigods. Heroes are born.
11,749,992. The Black Tide. The planet has reached a critical threshold and can no longer withstand the increasing strain. Erosion, decay, corruption… All that's touched by this blight is beyond recovery. Plants, animals, oceans, earths, cities, humans… No one is safe.
Heroes rise and defend the people. No matter if they're killing their former loved ones, corrupted into mindless monsters. But they remain powerless against the Black Tide, eventually dying to it themselves.
But this is no good, either. If they die so easily, then they are weak. More. Ascend more.
19,110,218. The Era Nova. The heroes survived and made their last bastion, but at what cost? Can they still go on? No, of course they should. There's only one path forward. No matter how many die to the Black Tide, they will never entirely fall. They will reach the end of Era Nova, into the new world where they can be reborn, to be free from all of this ruination!
28,371,274. …
"They say that the heroes of this world should be as countless as the stars… Yet now, we're the only ones left standing. So, in the end, the black tide still swallowed everything…"
"… Why? Why must Amphoreus's wishes be so… cruel? We made the best choices we could, whenever we could! But in the end… the prophecy that led us… this black tide swallowing everything… Why does it look like this?"
"I… I don't know. But we haven't had any other choice… except to move forward. Not for a long time now. Even if we only see the long, long night ahead, I still believe… that through it, we'll find the dawn on the other side. Beyond these flames, a new sun will someday rise."
"That person we're waiting for… One day, they will come."
Suddenly, everything turns black. Lygus stands up, and an indescribable aura rises from him. "PleiD219, you must be here because of that Intrusion Variable. I hope you've already said your farewells, because I'm not letting that little error disrupt my progress. I'm at 99.81% to eradicate that Aeon, Nous! We are so close to witnessing true history!" ]
[ Subaru casts a long look aside, not dignifying the call sign with much else of a response. Plei... Pleiades. His name in the sky, in the strokes of his language. To cluster, to come together. To escape in a hail of doves. To always have one sister out of sight. He doesn't wonder how Lygus knows that, the stars that signify his birth. Being divested of his secrets by waves of prying light is obvious enough. His blood's thrumming and at the ready, but he keeps his composure, unwilling to come apart at the provocation.
He is likely a threat, but Subaru's attention remains transfixed on the planet. On Amphoreus. Caelus mentioned it to him in that first waking encounter. How he'd been trapped there for years, cut off from communication....
— each revolution of this planet rises to brilliance like diamond pressurized by fire only to be shattered by this force dictating its fate. It is crushed, hewn to nothingness, tamped back down to dust and glass, muted in darkness. But it lives on, each and every time. A heart that is alive will fight to remain so, even if it struggles against plague and injury and hopelessness manufactured under the guise of destiny. The voice echoes in his mind as it turns its lament into a guiding force, hoping for a sunrise that may never come. It's painful to behold, no matter the entity at his side who seems to have a hand in its orchestration —
Is the trailblazer somewhere in here? In all these years that comprise the 0.19% left?
This is not a memory, and not just a dream. Subaru feels the weight of it slowly seizing against the back of his neck. This is happening.
And, as the entity stands to face him, Subaru tenses but doesn't make the first move, attention's equilibrium shifting to him rather than the planet. He can't predict what trying to fight against someone like this will be like; even if this is a dream, the reality of it stands to harm Caelus if he's too rash. It's not a risk he's willing to take.
[ For the first time, the two survivors at the end have discovered the truth: what Lygus has been doing to them and their planet for a heinous amount of time, how their prophecies are all corrupted calculations by this man to force them to repeat this abhorrent cycle.
Cyrene, the one with the authority of Time in this world, and Phainon, the one with the Worldbearing authority. They are the key figures to renew each cycle.
"This is a moment the universe will remember. After millions of extrapolations, the experimental environment known as "Amphoreus" has finally achieved results," Lygus explains with amusement, yet his tone is cold and detached.
"So, the "results" you speak of... are this wreckage of a world?" Phainon answers with burning eyes, his voice cracking, "We all gave everything we had, returning twelve Coreflames to recreate the world... and in return... We become nothing more than sacrificial offerings at the end of everything?"
"So in your eyes, all the sacrifices are just a string of insignificant numbers?" Cyrene adds, her own tone matching Phainon's.
"Don't sell yourselves short. I'd say, rather than numbers, you're more like "fuel for the fire." And without fire, there can be no sunrise tomorrow."
"Even if that sunrise is born from annihilation?"
"Heh, curious question. Have you ever considered that, after millions of extrapolations, Amphoreus is already following a different Path from the Erudition? It has long since granted divine blessings equally to each child... The golden blood flowing in your veins... It comes from The Blemished One, whose name is "Destruction" itself. And Amphoreus's Chrysos Heirs were, from the very beginning, fuel for the Aeon to burn the universe. Amphoreus has waited for this moment for too long. At the end of the empty, cold, and lonely extrapolations — the Destruction has reached its final destination.
NeiKos496. PhiLia093. No need to feel regret. This generation of Chrysos Heirs is the most outstanding model, and you two are the final factors. For you, the Era Nova is no lie. Just step forward, embrace the black tide, and accept the Aeon's gaze. You will come to life from a string of cold numbers. Along with all those who have passed, you will run toward the real universe, fulfilling Amphoreus's long-held wish— In the name of the Lord Ravager Irontomb, unleash its fury and destroy the source of all this tragedy!
"… Or, we could always choose another option," Cyrene smiles unexpectedly, an idea coming to her thanks to Lygus's explanation. Lygus thinks he's won this. He's trying to deceive them with the idea that they have no other options but to embrace this fate. Is this why he's trying to corner them like this now?
"You're pretending, revealing the so-called truth just to deceive us, covering up another possibility…" Phainon connects, realizing it too. "Destruction is not the only outcome for the fate of Amphoreus."
"Do you two really think, as petty little "demigods," you can change the outcome written by the stars? What makes you think you're capable of doing that?"
"Hmm... A little courage and determination? Just kidding, the answer is pretty simple— But, we're not gonna tell ya ♪"
Before this scene ends, Cyrene looks over to Subaru and gives him an encouraging wink. Almost as if saying to trust her.
A flash. In a different place, Cyrene and Phainon are speaking to each other about what to do, in order to halt further progress of this madness. They've come up with the idea of creating an eternal loop, one that deceives Lygus's system into thinking they're still progressing. But the truth is, they're stalling. Stalling for a miracle. The arrival of their Hero.
And so, they begin their plan to intervene. No matter how long it takes, they'll keep praying for the arrival of that person.
"I will wait for that day. For as long as it takes. The day will come. When someone turns over this nearly eternal page… And follows in our footprints… To write an ending unlike any that ever was."
CYCLE 33,550,336. The memory of the sky alighting. It parts as a train from the heavens pierces through the clouds. The memory of a past Lygus being immediately alerted, and he knocks over something in fury.
"The Astral Express. How did they pierce the firewall? Not even the Path of Trailblaze should've been able to go through it…"
Lygus runs a scan of the descending train, seeing him. The one with a Stellaron heart. Caelus.
"What? Who… is this? No matter. I need to remove this Intrusion Variable."
And so, the start of Lygus's attempts to get rid of Caelus. First, he directly shot the train down as an assassination attempt, causing it to crash land. It was almost successful, if certain figures hadn't intervened. Too bad. Now Caelus is able to influence this world, befriending those he meets, changing their fates by simply doing this.
Stop that. Another attempt. This time Lygus directly uses Dan Heng, trying to convince him to leave Amphoreus under the guise of protection. He lies by saying he can only do this now before the threat of this world grows worse, as he won't be able to do this later on. He's manipulating Dan Heng's protective feelings for Caelus. However, it doesn't work because Dan Heng understands what Caelus would've wanted. And it's what he would've wanted as well.
Because of Lygus's failure to stop the Astral Express, both Caelus and Dan Heng finally discover the truth of this world as well. And it's time… To trail a blaze into the future!
— No. No. Error. ERROR. This time, a more direct approach. He can't allow this. He's so close. This god damned little trailblazing Receptacle needs to die. But he's unable to kill him… Too many obstacles are guarding this Intrusion Variable. Confinement… That's right, he can simply lock him up.
Surely… surely, this time!
Cyrene reappears beside Subaru, taking both of his hands into a gentle squeeze.
"Beautiful wandering dove… Let's pray for our star together." ]
[ Each exchange flares in his awareness. Each draws shape between these bright points, interconnecting in a way that seems so small until the whole picture comes into view by Cyrene and Phainon's wills. To wait through the millions of cycles on the singularity known as a miracle is an exercise in faith so profound he can't even name the emotion it fills him with. It aches with the wishes of millions, with the will of the whole planet.
To wrest it from the jaws of its endless destruction, to turn calculation into courage, to secure its sunrise...
What does it take, he wonders, watching everything unfold between a dream and reality... what does it take to rewrite fate? In defiance, in the burning constellations of hope? He doesn't know. The possibility is so vast that it arcs long into the cradle of the universe, into the fabric of time. But he's not just a spectator. He understands that much when Cyrene singles his presence out, offering him the same unerring belief that carries these cycles through to each end. That man, that entity Lygus — identified he and Caelus as the same thing. Intrusion Variable.
But as he watches the Astral Express descend through the clouds like a falling star, like a dragon, like deliverance, he thinks he understands what the moment that heralds a true miracle is like. Even without it, Caelus is still all of those things, sowing the light of his compassion no matter where he goes.
There is nothing to him that doesn't matter.
And as Cyrene approaches him again on the cusp of Lygus's desperation to contain the trailblazer, the sensation of his hands in hers so real, the soft caress of wandering dove impressing on what he supposes is his soul, he returns the gesture. His fingers tighten in hers.
He may not have the same hope that carries this planet and its heirs and the trailblazer towards that horizon they chase.
But he does have hope pressed somewhere into his faulted heart. Touched by the authority of Time —
...and by the will of the one with the Stellaron heart.
"Here, you'll hear no human voices, see no human shadows. The sun's flickering flames will scorch you, draining the color from your skin. Only when the starlit night shields you from sunlight, or when the Sun rises to melt away the morning frost, will you find relief. These present hardships will torture you forever, and no one can save you. But you have left behind the fire… the fire that will liberate them. And the fire meant to free you was illuminated long ago." —Exomyth
[ After Lygus forces Caelus into confinement, the lone trailblazer finds himself in a strange room. The Exomyth, with hundreds of numbers, unsettling red lights, monitors everywhere he looks… ]
This is… the place outside the legend? This doesn't feel the same as before. How should I get back…?
[ An unknown voice pierces the silence, repeating the words on the screens.
[ Then, the next voice. A voice that causes Caelus's skin to crawl. He almost jumps where he stands.
"Since we parted ways last time, I have modified the Exomyth into an "audience area" exclusive to you. Now, you'll be able to silently wait here for the final act of Amphoreus to begin."
Caelus's eyes widen slowly, staring at the void of this place before throwing his arms in determination. His brows furrow. ]
Let me out!
[ But Lygus, of course, doesn't comply. He only lets out a smile, wherever he is. Caelus may not see him, but he can feel that expression. It makes him furious.
"I understand your anger, but I cannot allow you to continuously influence the extrapolation's progress."
Though before Caelus can yell out, another voice comes. A voice of a person he trusts this time, instantly relieving him. Miss Herta.
"Can you hear me… little one?"
Strange Display Monitor: [Warning. Abnormal data transmission detected…] Strange Display Monitor: [Abnormal data, locked on. Unauthorized communication, confirmed. Initiating response…]
Is Herta saying… a certain Path's faction has arrived in Amphoreus, and I can ask them for help?
[ This is their cue. Cyrene looks at Subaru and then nods at him, signaling that it's their turn.
"Come, beautiful wandering dove. Let's get our raccoon out of there."
Since the two of them are hiding away from Lygus's reach, they have to do this indirectly. They have to aid Caelus to catch the attention of a certain person in Amphoreus, someone else who walks in the Path of Remembrance, in order for them to take notice of his location.
Cyrene begins, casting a spell to enhance Caelus's attunement to the Path of Remembrance. She believes Subaru will be able to cast his own personal light on the trailblazer, so that Caelus's concealed presence will stand out more. Enough to be found by his allies. ]
[ A last ditch effort as the timer ticks down on this planet that he's come to care so much about. Subaru is familiar; a force that stands to lose everything on the cusp of victory will turn to desperation. And in turn, will sow unpredictability. Witnessing the scene unfold, he tempers the brief curl of anxiety he feels at Caelus's isolation with the surge of adrenaline following the voice that manages him to reach him.
There is a way. His will, that same will that puts the stars within reach, that doesn't shy from the cosmic burn of them, the grief inherent, must be able to push through.
Even without a full grasp of what's transpiring, he feels as though he doesn't need it. What's gathering here at the gates of this planet is something that can only be done by someone like Caelus, he's certain. His reach, his influence, his ability to connect others...
Subaru can't hope to ever achieve the same. But if Cyrene chooses him so, if she calms his wings, even if only for a brief, beautiful moment in time, then he will choose too. He's never been content with the absolution of doing nothing. So, he writes it as he's always written it: not onto paper or skin but into the fabric of this dreaming reality. In the blooming ink of his will, the gate of stars he was born to. A spell that might crack the desolation of being confined, that might allow light to pour out.
A spell that says, "I am here."
They're familiar strokes. The same as those he's imparted on paper and sticky notes, onto the palm of his hand.
[ The ripples of fate flow. The moment Cyrene and Subaru reach out together with their hearts, Caelus feels the answer coming to him right away. That's right, he knows how to escape… How to call for help, and who to call…
He looks at his hands. He sees it all, especially this gentle ink that connects to a certain someone. Subaru… A familiar warmth fills him, recalling the gentle faces of the people who matter so much to him. Of the memories he's made here. Of the reasons why he's fighting so hard. This planet, Amphoreus, and a planet that he has to return to after all this, the planet Earth… He has much to accomplish. He can't stay here like this.
So, Caelus takes hold of the warmth enveloping him and calls out, raising his hands.
"I'm here. I'm right here. So, please…" ]
— Answer me!
[ And answer they did. First, it's Evernight, who reaches out to him to shatter the cage. Even she has someone dear to protect, so she will never allow the Destruction to reach that person: her other half, March 7th. Following Evernight's reach, Sunday has made an attempt as well, then eventually it's Dan Heng who has done everything he can to finally locate Caelus entirely. ]
"A pathstrider walking both the Remembrance and the Trailblaze… Come… Leave the cage of logos… The mythos of Amphoreus… waits for you to continue its story…"
"Finally… I've found you, Caelus."
[ At this point, Evernight returns into March 7th's heart, allowing her other half to reemerge. After being reunited with March 7th and Dan Heng, they are finally ready to continue their Path to Trailblaze. For the future of Amphoreus.
Dan Heng steps forward, a hand on Caelus. "You once asked what trailblazing meant to me. It has taken on thousands of wills and thousands of forms. To trailblaze to be with those who save themselves. It is to be with all living things. And to be with you. No matter the eb and flow of fate, even in the face of tempestuous seas, in the name of trailblazing, I will guard your way forward." ]
Let's go! On the Trailblaze, no one gets left behind! We'll not only Trailblaze into the future together and save the world… We'll also return to the Express together and head towards our next destination.
"Mm-hmm. After we complete this Trailblaze, let's hold hands and head home together!"
[ And so, they continue forward, guided by the light of their friends. It's almost time to finish the 33 million cycles of sadness.
The echo of friends reaches out.
"If I can defy fate... Then in the name of "Worldbearing," I promise you: Kephale will never forget this. Farewell, Caelus. This is where I fulfill my final destiny. The prophecy of the "Deliverer" means nothing to me now. It belongs in the hands of someone far more fitting. Someone like you. As the prophecy foretold: "I, Phainon, will bear the blazing sun, until the pale dawn— you, Caelus— breaks." May the name accompany you in my place in the epic you write with your own hands."
"Finally. The end of this journey. All of us. Reuniting. Beneath a vast. Endless sky. All the companions who sacrificed themselves. Their wishes. It's all here." "Tomorrow, the stars will sing of the story of the Flame-Chase Journey." "And it won't just be "you" in it. There will be "countless numbers of you." "Amphoreus will be a glorious and magnificent world of heroes in the universe's "memories." Hence, for this world we so deeply love..." "Let us write its ending." ]
"Are you ready, Caelus?"
Yes. Let's move forward. The Flame-Chase… was never about Destruction! It was about breaking free… And Trailblazing! "I" shall compose four hundred million sagas— We will rewrite the Flame-Chasers' path!
[ And now, THE FINAL BATTLE with Irontomb begins, with Subaru as a witness to the very end. However, through their tether, Subaru will constantly feel Caelus's undying fighting spirit. His courage, hope, love. As if he's reaching back to him, asking for the onmyouji's support through this battle. ]
[ These words touching upon him from some other realm that he gives himself to in its moment of need... they're sacred syllables. Spoken, written, fit together like constellate pieces of something nearly too vast to see by Subaru's eye, but felt all the same. They activate the soul's language and bridge the exile of hope from the millions of tragic cycles to the path that might lead them towards the future they hope for. Not the one dictated by a mythos calculated, but by one whose luck is not randomness, but synchronicity. Amphoreous is reaching past despair. It is breaking through — not saved by force, but by faith.
By comparison, Subaru's world is very small. It was two people. Then one. Then none. All of his soul's callings were microcosmic, devoid of this megalithic grandeur. But if he could help just one person... just one. Then it wouldn't have been in vain.
All of this breathes like an incantation through the final moments of this fight. Even if he can only watch, the scope like a flare of molten stardust, his unwavering tether is still there to remind Caelus of what awaits him. Earth, his loved ones upon it. The mystery of a goddess and her dreamer. There are still things...
[ As Caelus fights through, he feels all of it. The presence of all of his friends, those he met in Amphoreus, and those he met outside of it. Even though Subaru isn't visible to him, Caelus has never stopped feeling him close by. He knows, and he's grateful. Collectively, everyone empowers his spirit further, reminding him that he's never all alone.
It makes his eyes light up brighter, and that arrow of light thrown at Irontomb… the final attack to turn everything around. It shines across the cosmos, beautifully blinding. Now, it has become the 33 million cycles of hope.
However, as Irontomb falls, that means something else as well. It also means… the collapse of Amphoreus. The planet begins disintegrating, as its very life is tied to that entity's own existence. But everyone already knew the truth at this point. And that's why they needed Caelus, who had no ties to Amphoreus, allowing him to spearhead through the planet without restraints, an entity that can withstand the Aeon of Destruction because of the Stellaron in his heart, and why Lygus feared him.
The hero that this world waited for more than a millennium.
But it was time to say goodbye, for now. Because Amphoreus will sleep once more, but this time, they believe that they will awaken to a new Era Nova. A new tomorrow, guided by their beloved Deliverer. Their souls merge within the book of Remembrance, something that Caelus has never parted with since the start of his journey here in Amphoreus.
Every person, creature, and sight, Caelus remembers it all and has penned it along with Cyrene. But this is as far as Cyrene can go, too. The rest… he'll have to write by himself.
With the mission of the Trailblaze concluded here, it's time to depart for the next planet. As Cyrene fades, she sings Caelus one last song (turn on cc) as everyone's spirits bid him farewell. In the sky, the sight of the Astral Express shoots like a rising star. ]
... . . -.-- --- ..- - --- -- --- .-. .-. --- .-- SEE YOU TOMORROW
[ When the song ends, Caelus's soul finally returns to his body in Manhattan, the body held by Subaru. Those golden eyes sparkle with life, but they also start shedding tears uncontrollably. ]
[ So that's where it ends. A goodbye, for now. A promise of a bright future at the expense of the disintegrating present...
...and in the present, he starts awake from the dreaming just like Caelus does, its imprint and the runoff of everything he'd seen thick in his blood, seared hot across the backs of his eyes. It surges through their tether like the heartbeat of the lost planet itself. Not forgotten, but waiting for that tomorrow. He eases upwards, momentarily dazed by the enormity of it, even if it's this small instance on the floor of his home that recalls his focus and tells him where he needs to be.
Subaru's hand still rests over his heart where he'd protectively touched to try and calm his Stellaron. But nothing comes now. Just the soft stutter of his weeping. Quietly, he moves his hand away from his chest and lifts it to his cheek to thumb the start of his tears.
Not all endings are tragic. But neither are all beginnings happy. ]
[ With the smiles of his friends so bright in his mind, Caelus is unable to move at first. The overwhelming journey in Amphoreus sinks so deeply into him, and he's doing his best to remember each and every moment, no matter how little the encounter may be. But he hears Subaru's comforting voice, and he couldn't help himself. He curls against his lap, embracing him tightly as he continues to cry like a lost child.
This entire experience could only be more fuel for Caelus's undying determination. He'll make it through here, too, this planet Earth, and continue the journey of the trailblaze. He has to, for the sake of Amphoreus and many other friends he's yet to meet. A million shades of light, a million planets out in the universe. He'll run through each and every one of them, reaching his hands out as he always does.
But for now, it's okay to stop. To stop, breathe, and curl into someone's arms just like this. Subaru's fingers trail on his cheek, but more tears flow, tracing the outline of that gentle hand. Though he doesn't forget… he doesn't forget to say this now, while the chance is here. It's not the first time he's said it, but it's only appropriate to do so now. ]
[ Upon waking, it's not uncommon for someone to try and commit every detail of a dream to memory, so as to never forget what it did for them, or how it made them feel. Dreams... are an important part of someone's heart. Dreams like the one he witnessed will surely shape them in this world, enmeshed with reality as they are. Here, on this earth, or there, out among the stars. Precognitive or corporeal, dreams light the way to where all emotions well the strongest.
His thumb roves his wet cheek, the heat of his tears catching on his skin. ]
Now, if you ever have trouble remembering, [ he soothes his fingers through his hair with his opposite hand, lulling. ] I can help you.
[ He can cry for what was lost just like he can run for what has yet to begin. For now, he'll be here until he tires himself out, letting him cry as much as he needs. It's a side of him he'll also be sure not to forget. ]
[ Those words mean much more than Caleus could ever hope to express. For someone who values memories so deeply, someone who lost all his memories before, it means just as much as the world for him. After all, after what happened, now his memories don't belong to him alone anymore. It now belongs to Subaru, to all his friends, and an entire planet that's waiting for him.
So Caelus tries to smile despite the heavy tears, or how his heart seems to want to suffocate him right now, but the smile is genuine and pure. The second statement eases him shortly, feeling all the weight finally land on him. And he gives in to that feeling, his consciousness falling into a soft slumber as the tears remain on his face.
His arms remain clutched around Subaru, his body still curled against his lap on that peaceful trailer's floor. Anko finally stirs after watching everything in silence, letting out a tiny "myuu" as it watches its master sleep. That position can't be good for Caelus, considering his recovering injuries, too… ]
[ Subaru doesn't keep track of how long he stays like that on the floor, cradling Caelus until he calms and eventually slips into slumber. The deep, rhythmic cadence of his breathing passes the time until eventually, Anko's soft noise rouses him. Blinking some of the fogginess away, Subaru shifts to glance down at it, smiling briefly. ]
I know. I probably shouldn't let him stay down here for much longer, should I?
[ Taking a careful moment to untuck Caelus's arms from him, Subaru helps guide him up onto his feet. He's slight, but stronger than he looks. He walks him out of the kitchenette and up the few stairs to the bed, peeling back the blankets to coax him to crawl in.
Once tucked in, Subaru leans out to pick up Anko and also set it gently on the bed. ]
[ Anko purrs happily at Subaru, then follows the two further in, once a very sleepy trailblazer is helped up. Caelus's eyes are blurry, and he can't tell where he's walking, but he knows where he is and what happened. He knows who's helping him walk, too. Of course he does… Their tether is filled with silent fondness.
Once the blankets are moved for him, Caelus lies down carefully and falls back asleep instantly right after. Anko is still purring, especially when Subaru picks it up. But it quiets down so as not to disturb Caelus once it's atop the bed. Instead, it heads over to curl up against its master, joining him in slumber.
[ pacing is a bad habit that's getting harder and harder to break.
the fuller the moon gets, the more difficult it becomes. agent choi doesn't consider himself an anxious person by any stretch of the definition, but even in the absence of that, this evening too it's started up again as reliable as clockwork. back and forth. back and forth. back and forth. all in anticipation of what might happen this time.
well, suffice to say that they've found out. or rather, subaru has.
because resting across his lap, in the very same place that agent choi had finally been coaxed from his restlessness into a fitful sleep, there's now a much heavier weight, warm and soft. he can feel it under his hand—fur that's much, much longer, fuller and thicker, and when he opens his eyes, orange, black and white will greet him—a tiger's stripes.
[ Subaru isn't exactly the guy to be espousing the virtues of a good night's sleep to anyone. But he does tend to think that some rest, even intermittent, is better than none; having someone around who might actually be a little worse at it than he is serves as a reminder. Not that he blames him, sensing the deep reservoir of magic storming in him. What shape it'll take... he can't say. What he does know is this: he can only watch Agent Choi wear a rut into his apartment's floor for so long.
It wasn't an easy sell, necessarily. But it did work. And its shape finally emerges when Subaru's sleep-tingled legs and sore back finally stir him from where he'd dozed off too.
His palm drowsily skirts the wide, weighted plane beneath it (a big cat forehead), fingertips catching on thick fur (not hair). Stilling, Subaru tenses, blinks awake fully, a little too cognizant of when he's dreaming and when he isn't. His hands pull away, hovering over the heavy form of a full tiger snoozing away on his lap.
One whose tether has remained the same through the shift, making him realize exactly what's happened here... ]
[ it's the feeling of a slight shift in the tether resting so close to him that causes the agent to stir. like someone getting up from the other side of a bed, the emotions subaru feels upon looking down at the sleeping tiger in his lap ripple across their connection, gently nudging choi from his own dreams as he becomes aware of the shift. at first, it starts with the ears atop his head flicking—normal enough. something he's grown used to them doing in restless moments thanks to the changes that are slowly eating away at him. what isn't so normal is, well...
when he stretches his arms, reaching forward and even flexing fingers... sharp claws probably tear into subaru's poor couch as a result.
...
agent choi opens his eyes. the dull, desaturated living room looks back at him, and at the end of his furry, striped arms—legs now, he guesses? whatever. anyway, there are big fat paws stretching out before relaxing. in his peripheral, he can see subaru looking down at him with big eyes. himself, he turns his head to face him a little better as his still blue gaze blinks owlishly back.
awesome. just what he always wanted. seriously, this is great.
he's not freaking out. he shouldn't even be surprised, after all this. instead, that kind of sarcastic feeling is the number one thing subaru will feel stretch across their tether. ]
[ ...Well, the couch wasn't in all that great of a condition to begin with, so. No love lost.
Instead, Subaru is left staring at the familiar burning starlit hue of his eyes in the face of a tiger. There's really no mistaking it from that, from the flat sensation of his emotions sulking through the tether. Finally, he breathes some of the tension out, relaxing again. It does take a little effort this time. ]
You don't seem surprised... [ His hands still hover like an awkward first date not knowing where to put them all of a sudden. ] — is what I was going to say. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like I shouldn't be, either.
[ The ears, the tail. The restless aggravation of having your own flesh and blood and instinct taken from you...
He's a shifter. And not one from the legends that Subaru grew up with, from the look of it. ]
[ right? it's the kind of thing you really hope doesn't happen, but ends up feeling inevitable anyway.
anyway, subaru may not know quite what to do with his hands, but agent choi? it's not like he's ever been the shy type. if he's going to have to endure this, the least he should be allowed to do is sulk a little. lowering his head back down onto subaru's lap, choi groans, stretching out his paws and rolling onto his side—striped back against subaru. the effect isn't unlike the last tiger, but bigger. much bigger. just really, really big by the way.
but hey, on the bright side? he'll be the first to admit that the past two moons haven't treated him kindly at all. rather, that request for painkillers had been beyond genuine, so isn't it odd that this time, it occurred without even waking him? there's even a tentative sense of relief behind the thought, if not underlined by suspicion.
considering it, his paws rest aloft near his chest, drawn slightly inward in a way that resembles a housecat. ]
Beneath the wonder of the full transformation sprawled out so colorfully on his couch (and his lap, by proxy), Choi's considerable weight isn't really such a problem. Finally, Subaru's hands lower. He places one loosely on his side, just over the rise and fall of his chest. His other soothes the fur between his ears, wondering if the aches of bone being made malleable by magic still persist.
If not, well. Maybe the soft, repetitive motions will still bring some comfort. ]
Shifting under the light of a full moon. [ Subaru mulls aloud, talking shop to imbue the situation with some normalcy. ] It's more like something from European folklore, isn't it?
[ achey, maybe, but only in the way your back aches on a rainy day, or like leftover growing pains lying in bed. isn't it odd?
nevertheless, as subaru's hands find a home in his thick fur, choi has no complaints to speak of. comforting... that might just be the right word for it! maybe not so all-encompassing as a hug, but a feeling that's sort of like that on a small scale? it feels nice, and choi chuffs, a short huff of breath through his nose as he shifts to nuzzle against subaru's fingers.
he continues like that for a moment or two, ears swivelled to show his attentiveness, before offering his input, which starts with something like a yawn. ah, but to be honest, he's not really so used to this, so what follows feels clumsy, licking his lips and chewing the air for a moment as if to get used to the feel of his own feline maw. and then, an answer in the form of a funny kind of sound that only tigers can make.
to subaru, only because of that thread between the two of them, it might feel like: "well, we are in america after all~" maybe sleep just has western preferences? ]
[ oh! fine, fine. the next sound he makes is short, and it lifts towards the end like a question. the tip of his tail thumps against the other end of the couch.
[ first of all, maybe cats were onto something with this whole enjoying being pet thing. or maybe it just isn't the kind of luxury that humans let themselves indulge in. either way, his eyes close for a minute as he exhales the biggest sigh.
second of all, study...?
hmm, well, yeah. it makes sense to want to know where sleep came from—about her origins and what she is and why she is, right? that's basically step one of an exorcism.
so... just what kind of resources would subaru have, in an ideal world? ]
[ There's something to be said for it, he thinks. Just allowing his most ambient of thoughts to caress across the tether, conversational but not all that pointed. It takes some of the clumsiness away from having to explain himself in a world that never seemed to be for him, for all that he wielded within it — here, surviving is practical. Knowing why they're surviving is also practical, just cast in a different light. ]
I suppose... [ Idly, he rakes his fingers behind the curvature of one spotted ear. (It seems the topic may have briefly caused him to forget that ^ this is still a whole guy.) ] Most divine beings have existed since antiquity. Every interpretation carries an opportunity to understand the truth behind them. Humanity has been ascribing meaning to the divine since it learned to pray.
We wouldn't be the first to study Sleep, if Megumi's information is correct. But everything we know is so new.
[ It would be nice to have other references. Knowledge beyond the desperation of their current situation. ]
[ divine being, huh. still giving her so much credit...
it's a tall order, but still, choi closes his eyes to consider the explanation for a long moment. what are the pieces in this puzzle? what are their clues so far? the moon, the fungus, the something else living inside them. there are changes, and connections, and a twisted kind of "love".
...
he probably can't offer so much here and now. this, it'll have to be more of a long-term project, but, hmm... does subaru want to talk about his thoughts so far? ]
You're right, I'm sorry. We never came to a conclusion on her nature.
[ And how could they, really? Contamination is just as viable of a theory as the will of a new god, though there's a slender holding around his heart where doubt curls in alluring shapes. Where hurt has been transmuted into hope, or something like it — this is not a dream and yet a dead man walks, so very alive. (And causing problems...)
Silent a moment, his motions slow. His hand moves from his side to the plane of his neck. Is he still scarred, he wonders? Beneath the fur. ]
Did you give anything in the cathedral, Agent Choi?
subaru will find that the fur does indeed thin where it should be thickest, sparser where it's wrapped around his neck. let his fingers sink in too deep and he'll brush against a line of still tender skin, warranting the tiger to lift and shake its head briefly in an attempt to redirect his attention elsewhere. for good measure, he'll roll his body too, shifting restlessly so that he lays on his side instead of his back.
as for the question, a silence stretches across the tether. in the place of thoughts or words, a tangle of complicated emotions rise up like the tide before they're slowly reigned back in. at the forefront of them: regret.
[ His touch doesn't overstay its welcome when shaken off, slender fingers curling as he lifts them away again. Eventually, his palm settles again, still against the powerful jut of his shoulder blade. As if to anchor some of his restlessness instead, the weight of his soul much more formidable than that of his body. Somewhere in the tether, the complicated feelings intersect with his own, though Subaru doesn't exactly bid for anything deeper than that. ]
You don't have to tell me what it was.
[ Subaru is well-acquainted with regret. ]
I'm certain I offered something. If nothing more than to satisfy my own curiosity. But... [ His words measure, light and simultaneously slow. ] I can't remember what it was.
[ hmm... even without the prying though, there's no need for it, is there? subaru has already caught a glimpse of it, and there's probably not any point in hiding that fact now. he's not someone that choi needs to hide that from.
there is, however, something else that causes the agent's heart to prickle as he says it.
he doesn't remember... and choi feels curiosity, concern and something that stings around the edges—a kind of discontentment. not for subaru, but perhaps for his loss. ]
[ It's instant, the way that the tether saturates with his calm. Emotions run in tandem, pushing and pulling the light like the revolutions of the moon. ]
It's alright. Because I can't recall it, it must have been a memory. But I don't feel any different.
[ There doesn't seem to be anything inherently wrong about him, or something so off that others might notice. Whatever it was, it must've been important enough to sate her, but not enough to fundamentally alter who Subaru is. It stands to reason — he's given up much, in his life. ]
[ even against the current of the calm that washes over him, agent choi can't make himself alright with it. doesn't particularly want to try. he still remembers what subaru said, after all: one group undergoes changes of the body, and the other undergoes changes of the soul. fundamentally, this feels much the same.
they've both lost something about themselves.
the tiger grumbles, dissatisfied, and pins its ears back for just a moment to show its displeasure.
he guesses sleep won't be satisfied with them doing things in halves. ]
[ Distaste wells in his throat, but it's not his own. Bits and pieces of himself should be harder to parcel up and give away. But that's how it's always been — his heart beneath the cherry blossom tree, his soul in the stars. One eye and both lungs cloudy. Carefully, Subaru's next pass over Agent Choi's folded ears is closer to the way he'd carded his fingers through his hair when he was trying to coax him to rest. He knows it's difficult to bear; he doesn't pretend otherwise. He respects him too much.
If it's within his power to press humanity back into this strange outline Sleep has made of him, he will. ]
[ it's not that he doesn't understand. a nameless man should, at least, but still... maybe it's the fact that this time, it was sleep. it tastes bitter.
but the feeling reaches its peak, subsiding shortly after. not dismissed but at least properly felt and conveyed, he can set it aside in favour of what subaru has to say.
as that gentle hand caresses his fur, the tiger's eyes close. rather than flatten, this time its ears swivel, listening attentively. ]
[ Meeting his gaze, it really is remarkable how much his eyes have remained the same. ]
He's not divine. He's godlike, but not a god. Sleep... is beyond my capability right now, unless she can be asked directly.
[ But it's interesting, isn't it? A "god" entwined with a being who is not a god, but bears similarities to one. A beast, a force of nature, and the magic tethered to them...
[ it's food for thought, certainly, but in such a way that it only seems to pave the way to more questions. agent choi's mind turns, the gears spinning as information is memorized and stored carefully away for safekeeping until need of it might arise. but, for now? he'll resist the temptation to interrogate that scrap right down until only bone is left.
instead, he decides to build on what subaru has to offer him, the question carried across their tether by a genuine curiosity: does he think that she will answer honestly, if asked directly?
She may not know. There might be nothing to know at all. The only way to find out is to ask.
[ A hesitation lingers briefly on the tail end of his statement, more felt than heard. It's a rarity for someone so sure like he typically is. Subaru's hands still and he rests them on Choi's side thoughtfully for a moment. ]
There's just something I owe her.
[ It sounds simple, but even if he doesn't elaborate further, the tether saturates with it. It's terribly precious to him, whatever it is. His want for knowledge, for now, doesn't outweigh it. ]
it doesn't sound like a small one by any mean, and thinking about it, choi's mouth feels dry. the tiger in subaru's lap snorts, but he's careful in what he shares with the tether—only a simple understanding comes through. message received.
...
a moment passes, and as if making its decision, the tiger pulls itself up to its feet in an abrupt motion. where its paws might step, it seems careful not to place too much of its weight—tentative, as if testing its footing, before it manages to manoeuvre itself to face subaru properly, body resting in the spot next to him rather than on him.
after a moment of peering at him, blinking, it lowers its head slightly, eyes remaining fixed on subaru's all the while. it seems to be expecting something. ]
[ Allowing him to get up and switch positions, the absence of his weight prominent in the moment that it rises, Subaru can't help but feel — alarm. Soft, brief, echoing upwards from some buried part of him just enough to break free and run through their tether.
Message received?
He wants to ask him what he means by that. But he also thinks he knows, even if only a little. ]
...I don't really have the right to tell you what to do, [ Subaru starts, his thoughts slow to manifest as words. ] But...
[ He reaches out, taking his head in his hands. ]
Don't do anything so reckless that there's no way for you to take it back.
[ for a moment, the animal simply blinks up at subaru, as if listening patiently for more.
...
give it a moment though, and it will close its eyes, nuzzling its face against his hand and up his wrist. it huffs and chuffs as it does so, and if subaru humors it enough, it will try to rub its cheeks up against his too, stepping back into his lap to get closer. surely this is justified if you don't have better means to show friendliness and affection, right?
behind it, its thick tail is raised high, curled at the tip. the tether between them remains wordless, but filling it instead is a great sense of affection—and confidence.
so maybe subaru can forgive him for not accepting his terms as a proper promise. ]
( To be, or not to be, a Murmur's sweeted bluffer: Determined for your twin star's raccoon mind to suffer The slings and arrows of fortune that him skewer As he rears fluff head and whiskers from the sewer Thus facing Sumeragi woes: to smoke, to sleep No more; and by a sleep, to say pretend There is ever bitter end to consternation That Subaru is heir to? 'Tis a summation Of twink wants, twink needs: to die, to smoke, to sleep To sleep, perchance to Dream; aye, Seishirou's the hurt — )
...unrelatedly impatient and seemingly ill mannered. I apologise.
I expect you've seen him. I also expect you'd have been... vocal if you had seen the other. It didn't occur to me that he would allow them to be apart.
It may be that the will of our host is at least equal to his, when it comes to this. [ In power and petulance both... ] But you're talking about Shirou Kamui.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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22 November.
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November?
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( Let it land like a hurricane. )
A good-will gift. To complete your collection of every other tatter of my dignity you've embezzled. I don't invite reciprocation.
1/2.
Not the first of April. ]
2/2.
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( But there is value to this conversation. )
You don't have much. If it's freely given, you'll squander it. If it's wrenched from my hands, you'll guard it jealously. Consider me despoiled.
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You want me to preserve our heritage.
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I want you to be a very jealous man.
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And use it as a first ward.
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I suppose you have ideas.
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I don't even have exclusivity over my birth date.
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Put it under my protection.
[ A question, flourished. ]
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...no, maybe not. I won't make another bet with you.
But I will agree to what you're asking.
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It's Fushiguro Megumi, isn't it?
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You like your tragic boys of blood and duty.
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He knows of the Sumeragi and the Sakurazuka. [ Bleeding honesty at the end of a garrote. ] As a measure of seeing if our practitioners aligned.
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...oh. You think I'll kill him. For what you've said already. No. No, I briefly wondered. But no. Don't demean yourself.
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[ Be that as it may, art to art. ]
What do you want kept away from him? From anyone?
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Your family's.
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But then, you'll say you'd have accepted less.
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Still better than yours, kouhai.
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They haven't claimed me.
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You face a discount Sakurazukamori off the fake racks.
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So, it's effect is still similar to the dream.
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Never say that again.
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It felt uglier than dilution and uncertain origin.
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Your Highness, how will you make do?
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Your yin returned.
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I suspect not.
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I thought it would. But I'm not so sure, now.
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My bet is you'll be back for round two within the year.
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1/2.
2/2.
Is that so?
[ Is it? ]
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...every illusion is a beautiful dream dressed into being.
I've spoken the words. So they must be.
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Are all words spoken capable of being enshrined as truth?
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Fine, I'll take it.
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I want answers.
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...answers. ( And plural. )
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At first arresting, then tantalizing, the shape of it comfortingly close. )
Well, if at first you don't succeed.
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Of course I must accept, to support him.
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Subaru-kun, your family circumstances being what they were, I won't hold this against you. But the truth is, you never learned how to treat a woman.
In fact, romance is entirely dead, and you should always lead with your most practical consideration. Whether it's your wage, your career, your advancement prospects or other personal services you can provide. That's what gets a modern heart going.
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Agreeable. So much so that I'll give you a hand and let you do a small service for me.
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Go ahead.
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[ The Murmur weighs heavy; it almost seems too much. ]
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My boots want licked. How about it?
( And crush, out of habit. )
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[ Respectfully. ]
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3rd week, TNDNBTG event, gift item.
In the morning outside the door of whatever room Subaru is in, he'll find a small decorative box. there is a tag on top with his last name in English and a simple note on the back of 'thank you,' as well, with a little doodle of a small cartoon raccoon holding its paws in the air with heart emojis.
it's signed by Aventurine, also in English. (He is hoping the other can read English because after asking like one or two people who speak Japanese and getting a mini lecture on the potential kanji differences of names, he decided English was so much easier.)
Unfortunately, that's the best Aventurine can express on paper here, but in the box will be carefully placed talisman papers from one of the shrines on the island, each one meticulously placed in the thin transparent wrappers finished ofuda are sold at shrines in usually. there's maybe 50 sheets or so in total, so not a ton as Aventurine went through a lot to pick out the nicest and best preserved he could find for making the little gift. It includes a calligraphy brush, a calligraphy pen, a (very) small vial of sealed black ink, and a...hello kitty pen because not everyone's perfect and it's in case of emergency since he doesn't even know if Subaru needs a writing utensil to make use of the paper. ( In his defense it writes really well!)
he also has placed a small business card that's a little bit beat up, but still very legible, and tucked in there for the shrine that he found the items at, in case Subaru needs other supplies or whatnot that might useful to him. ]
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When one of the residents leaves the hotel for scouting or supplies, it follows on silent wings, using birdsong to signal where passages through the city are safest. When threats are near, it lands in warning to go no further.
It remains active so long as nothing destroys it. (And is content to roost on the hotel's awning when not in use.) ]
Somewhere within week 4, nearing end of TNDNBTG
Considering the Sundowning's continued effects, it's natural for him to worry. That's why he decided to start a side project that he's been working on for the entire week. He finally finished it today, and he's excited to present it. Thus, using the tether, he calls out— ]
Subaru? Are you busy?
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He hasn't much had the heart to call anyplace home in this city, either. But he's dutiful and the tether thrums with the soft stability of his answer: ]
No, I'm not. Is everything alright?
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Regardless, Caelus wants to see if Subaru is willing to try it. When Subaru's soft voice comes forth, Caelus is unable to stop his smile. He doesn't think he'll ever tire of hearing this comforting voice. ]
Oh, I'm okay! I just wanted to show you something. If you're free, can you come to this location?
[ Sending him the coordinates through the tether… ]
Take your time. I'll be here for a while.
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Of course. I can come to you right now.
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After Subaru's confirmation, Caelus patiently waits at the mentioned location, silently appreciating the short conversation in his head. If only he could've seen it right in front of him. ]
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But, as those around him are so colorfully reminding him, even in comfortable silence over the Murmur — it can't always be his focus.
His birds arrive at Caelus's location just before he does. Tiny, enchanted wisps of paper on dry wings, but still stronger and swifter than his last set as he grows accustomed to rune magic. They usually accompany him in the city in case of danger; one flutters low to land on the trailblazer's shoulder. It remains there until Subaru finally rounds the corner, hands in his coat pockets and scented faintly like smoke. ]
I hope you weren't waiting for too long.
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Little one, are you a friend of Subie?
[ Subie, the paper bird digilently guarding the hotel. Caelus gestures to the familiar friend with his other hand, the sight of it resting on a nearby rooftop. Though once Subaru arrives, the trailblazer turns in the direction of the precious one's voice with such radiant life. Here it is again, his recognizable warm energy, unchanged. ]
Hello! [ Lifting his hands, he uses both to wave several times, maintaining his expression as he does. ] Not at all. I have company, after all.
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It's good that you didn't have to wait alone for long. [ As if responding to some silent magical cue, the bird takes flight again, wheeling upwards and over the buildings behind them to keep watch. Subaru tracks its movement briefly before his attention returns to Caelus. ] What was it that you wanted to show me?
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Every lovely color of Subaru's sides. Even if the world has yet to notice it, the trailblazer always will. Caelus closes in their distance and reconnects their hands, a cool wind seemingly encouraging his movement as he steps forward. He smiles once more, then pulls the beautiful onmyoji along with his excited motions. He takes him to a nearby parking lot, where this trailer is waiting.
The paint is recent, as Caelus had to refresh its dilapidated look. The plants are artificial, since he didn't want to place zombie plants around the house. The fairy lights are currently unlit, but there's unique wiring on them connected to a nearby device. He'll likely explain that eventually. There's a nice-sized campfire at the side, also unlit, but there's already some chopped firewood in it. ]
This! What do you think?
[ Considering its renovated state, it's undeniable who did it and who it's meant for. A person who is always on the move, a house just the same. Well, it obviously won't be moving anytime soon without a working car attached to it, but it opens up the option in the future. ]
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It's amazing. [ He doesn't measure his words in saying so. It comes from the heart. ] You did all of this?
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But not all of it! Once most of the heavy blows have flown away, Caelus returns his gaze straight at Subaru and redirects that giddy smile. He raises both their connected hands, pressing the older man's palms against his own face, his own palms over them. Heat of that pink blush transfers easily to their layered hands, increasing the luminosity of this area. A trailer equally bright as its renovator. ]
All for you.
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You are... [ His hands press to his skin of his own accord, intent in the cool lay of his palms, growing ever-warmer. ] very special, Caelus.
[ He hopes he feels it. The reflected light that chases the loneliness in the corners away.
Grip slacking, he finally looks to the home he's made. ]
Will you show me what you've done?
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"I'm not someone whose burdens you should shoulder."
"Everyone needs help now and then. All I want to do is make it a little easier for people."
This aside, Caelus is also doing it because he knows that Subaru deserves more. He doesn't know his background or his past, but it doesn't matter. Simply looking at this beautiful soul, it's not difficult to see why he should be treasured. Subaru, who always silently protects others…. Subaru, so dutiful, so hardworking, so gentle, so selfless… He more than earned at least one person there for him.
But Caelus does not doubt that Subaru has many people who love him. How can anyone not, after getting to know him, even a little? He has an overflowering charm that he doesn't even realize he has. So when he calls the trailblazer as someone special… Caelus can't help but laugh. The warmth intensifies, the lovely sensation of his cheery voice running through the other man's palms. ]
You are the special one.
[ Though these days, Subaru's aura does feel much softer than it already is. Caelus naturally noticed. After all, he's always watching over him. Just the same as Subaru and his paper birds. Lowering their hands, but remaining together, the trailblazer nods and leads the onmyoji into the trailer.
The interior has been renovated, too. The main room with the view of a small bedroom at the back and the connected open kitchen right beside it. The kitchen comes with a small sink (the trailer has a water tank that needs to be refilled time to time). The shelves are mostly empty, but there are a couple of canned goods and small food items like instant noodles as added tiny gifts. At the side, a small dining table by a portable fireplace. ]
Sorry, I'm not skilled enough yet to work on the bathroom, so there's nothing in there. [ pointing at the door next to the hallway leading to the bedroom ] You can use it as a closet or something, for now!
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As Caelus leads him into and around the space, Subaru is left with the abundance of feelings that have long laid dormant and sedimentary at the bottom of his soul. It's almost... a little painful, to have this kind of warmth radiating at all the softened points of his demeanor. He'd steeled himself so long ago that he convinced himself there was no need for it, but the weld is poor. Gentleness still bleeds through the weak points.
Such thoughts drift through him even when he's dutifully taking note of everything Caelus accomplished. At the end of the tour, Subaru shakes his head, steadying his fingertips on the countertop thoughtfully. ]
No, you've done plenty with it. I couldn't ask for anything more than this.
[ It's then that his gaze rises to meet the trailblazer's. ]
It may be a little late for this, but there is something I can do. Jichinsai. Or, a groundbreaking ceremony.
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Despite Caelus's cheeriness, he does have his own buried loneliness as well, so he can still relate to those feelings… He hasn't seen the Astral Express in so long, as even before Manhattan, he was forced to remain in Amphoreus. He worries about so many people back home. Not only the people on the Express, but his friends in Amphoreus. How he wishes he could go and find everyone, but that journey will have to wait. For now, he will continue supporting the friends right beside him…
When Subaru moves his single lovely eye to meet Caelus's pair of golden ones, he meets them back with a bright determination. ]
That's a great idea. What do we need for it?
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Subaru slips his hand more securely into Caelus's, fingers tightening. Recognition he doesn't give voice to, only the comfort of understanding. ]
I have paper. So... branches, rope or twine. Alcohol is also common, but I can use purified water in its place.
[ He steps away from the counter. ]
There's a park nearby we might be able to get the wood from.
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Just as their hands squeeze together now. Caelus doesn't hesitate to tighten the warm touch, parrying away what lingering coldness there is in the possibly autumn air. They don't know the current season yet due to a lack of a way to verify the actual dates, but hopefully, they'll find out if it starts snowing soon enough. And if it does snow, Caelus will continue to provide warmth anytime. Maybe more than ever before. ]
Got it. Let's find our branch, then.
[ Though reluctant to part their hands, Caelus has to because of the tasks they'll be doing soon. So he slowly lets go, but not without another fond squeeze. Once his hands are freed, he reaches into his messenger bag to get something… A Swiss army knife he carries around. He releases the blade from it, ready to cut down their wood once they have it. ]
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A lingering light-flash of a smile precedes his nod. Out of the trailer and back onto the streets crippled by Sleep's influence, Subaru leads the way down the block to the small park. He's only seen it in passing and he doesn't suppose they'll find any wood that's not entirety rotted by the strange fungal blooms that seem to affect all the flora, but he can make do. Even shifted to a power source that's not his, Subaru is confident in his skill.
Quiet for a stretch of time as they walk, he ventures: ]
How do you say it in your language? "Ceremony."
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A passing thought to himself. He can't believe it's been almost a month since they arrived. Time always did move way too fast, sometimes. They all were certainly kept busy, dealing with strange events and adjusting to this unfamiliar city. But it wasn't all bad. After all, he's met so many wonderful people…
When Subaru speaks again, Caelus can't help but melt from hearing the question. He releases a small smile to himself as they walk. Then, he responds, concentrating like last time so he could get his original accent to come out. ]
[ Ceremony ]
Is that term earlier, Ji— chi— [ Sorry, he's struggling to say Japanese again… ] the word for it?
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Ceremony. [ It does take concentration on the syllables to say them aloud without their ambient connection shifting his language, but Subaru manages. ] Thank you, I think I can remember it.
[ As they enter the tiny park situated at the end of the block, Subaru doesn't immediately turn his attention to what trees remain. There's a playground in disrepair, most of it rusted and overgrown. A swingset remains, just across the sandbox. He glances at it, but ultimately ends up slowing to a stop to gesture for Caelus's hand instead. ]
Jichinsai is a specific ceremony. It's to bless the land something is built on. This... [ With one hand supporting Caelus's from the bottom, Subaru traces kanji onto his palm with his index finger. ] Gishiki. A ceremony. Or a sacred ritual.
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It all causes Caelus to pause, doing his best to commit it all to memory. The characters are shown to him, drawn carefully. Maybe he won't be able to remember all the strokes of this kanji right away, but he exerts every effort to recall as much as he can. The terms taught to him as well. Everything, he wants to keep in his heart as treasures. ]
Jichin… sai. Gi… shi… ki.
[ Some leaves being carried by the wind pass them by. This abandoned park may have been forgotten by time, but with Subaru and Caelus here, creating new memories together, this park has now been remembered once more. ]
How do you say "thank you" in your language?
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[ Language transmutes with his touch. It was in his blood as an onmyouji, it remains there as a runecaster, no matter how it's changed. Hands are the tools of prayer, the instruments with which people sow connection. Subaru believes that, even through the violence that's been enacted upon him — and by him, just before here.
Caelus's hands are warm, but now so are his.
This time, he traces the simpler shapes of kana onto his palm, punctuating each one with its syllable: ]
A ∙ ri ∙ ga ∙ tou.
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He says it, with the perfect tone, a high note of appreciation. The kind of pitch that no one can easily reach, not unless they're bursting with emotion like he is now. ]
Arigatou! Subaru!
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Subaru returns his hand to him in a serene slip of his fingers, but there's less finality in the motion than usual. ]
You're welcome.
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He lifts his radiant gaze to him, giving him another smile as if the earlier ones were never enough. Which is true. They're just never enough. He can keep smiling for this person, always. With that, Caelus finally lets go and approaches the most stable-looking tree nearby. He gestures to it, indicating he's ready to proceed. ]
Do you need a thin branch, or does it have to be large?
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Thin is fine. Two of the same length is preferable.
[ Subaru measures out a distance of around sixty centimeters with his hands. ]
Like this, [ He demonstrates. ] if the tree will be kind enough to help us.
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[ After memorizing the length indicated, Caelus looks up at the zombified tree. Like the rest of the flora and fauna, everything looks quite unnatural, and this tree is no exception. Still, this tree lives on, though its leaves have already started to fall. He's not sure if it's because it's possibly autumn or if it's already beginning to wither away.
The branches near the bottom are too thick. The thinner ones are closer to the peak. Caelus reaches to test out the lower branches, trying to bend them. When they remain stable, he begins to climb the tree without hesitation. He doesn't want to overwhelm the branches with his weight despite their stability, so he makes his movements quick. He stands tall on a branch and then leaps constantly, parkouring his way to the top.
Once he's at the peak, he slices off two appropriate branches before hopping off, landing perfectly on his feet. He offers them to Subaru after straightening up. ]
Here you are.
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Thank you. [ Subaru takes the branches, weighing them in his hands. ] These will work fine.
[ Branches in one hand, he extends the other, indicating the pocket knife. ]
May I?
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He wonders what the onmyoji intends to do with the branches, but he supposes he'll see it now. Thinking about it, some of Subaru's arts remind Caelus of some friends of his from Xianzhou, particularly Hanya, who also works with ink and paper on her spells. ]
Were you perhaps an exorcist back home?
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White making a notch with the edge of the knife, Subaru's brows draw upwards in curiosity. ]
My work is similar. I'm an onmyouji. [ He pauses his knifework, steps slow. ] How do you know that?
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He lets out a quiet, amused laugh when he appears to have made an… almost correct guess? So it's not exactly an exorcist, though maybe it has overlapping roles? ]
I have a few friends who are exorcists, I met them through my travels in my universe. Some of the gestures you do sometimes remind me of them. You all have a very certain way of holding paper, for instance…
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[ Finishing the other branch, he clicks the pocket knife shut and offers it back to Caelus. ]
Exorcisms are one area of my work. Onmyoudo itself is a large school of magic that spans back hundreds of years in my home country. I can perform divinations, protection rituals, blessings... things of that nature.
[ Or — he could, before this. Working with runes hasn't been entirely dissimilar though. Comparatively, he's taken to Sleep's magic incredibly fast. ]
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That's amazing. That makes sense why you can perform the ceremony for the trailer.
[ Wait… ]
Hm? I thought we all lost our powers, coming here. Did you retain yours?
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[ Subaru is never the first to espouse his abilities. But with everything that Caelus has given to him, his unerring warmth and his deep-seated secrets pressed into the contours of his hands, he thinks he can explain without regret. ]
In many ways, onmyoudo is a magic of translation. Onmyouji translate energy, elements, the stars. I feel that whatever powers I gained by coming here are similar. There's a language I instinctively know, even if it's not complete. It's how I've been able to teach myself similar techniques.
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Relief soon hits Caelus with that realization, so he's able to listen to everything without feeling guilty about it. In fact, he's honored to hear everything now, because it means Subaru decided to tell him despite whatever weighs him down about it. He takes every word to heart. ]
I understand. That's quite a coincidence, then.
[ Is it a good or bad thing? Caelus doesn't know, but it'll at least allow Subaru to adjust much better. So he can protect himself and others better. ]
What I received confounds me a little. I'm not sure what exactly it is, even now. Though I've begun to notice several things about it at least, unlike the last time I mentioned the topic to you.
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It's been difficult to remain on his guard. ]
You did mention that. How you weren't sure what was going to awaken in you. [ Briefly, he remembers the hue of his eyes. Like direct sunlight glowing off metal. It was so striking. ] Has something changed for you?
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In fact, it may even cause the opposite effects that he wanted… The mere idea of that is heartbreaking. So he'll wait, no matter how long. He smiles a little when he proceeds to explain his findings, wanting to continue the good mood of their gentle conversation. ]
I don't know if anything changed specifically, but some strange things happened. There was a time I was looking through the luggage trolleys for hauling my scavenged items, then they started moving on their own for a minute! I almost thought the hotel was haunted.
Another time was when I was repairing devices. Some of the devices actually powered on for a split second, and I was so shocked. They don't have a power source, so that should've been impossible.
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Now, he's not so sure.
It's easier to focus on what's right in front of him, the shape of his thoughts coalescing around what Caelus shares about his experiences. ]
Do you think it's something to do with electricity? Or metal? [ That molten color shines in his memory. ] The latter would explain the trolleys... it could be related to polarity or magnetism.
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He keeps smiling for both their sakes, further increasing the sensation of warmth and security to keep away any traces of that seemingly lonely confusion within the other's heart. He hopes one day, they can face that more bravely together. ]
I think so. It has to be related. After I found out that I can power devices like that, I tried to experiment with various items, like flashlights, table lamps, clocks, cameras, gas stoves, electric stoves, and even a motorcycle engine. The only thing that didn't work in that list is the gas stove. Though, it wears me out really, really quickly, so I can't do it efficiently right now.
That wasn't the end of it. I didn't notice at first since I already have a love for engineering and… um, random objects. [ Trash-loving raccoon… ] But I think something caused my crafting skills to significantly improve as well. I was "sure, I can fix this" good, but I wasn't "sure, I can fix this, and upgrade this and that while I'm at it!" kind of good!
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I don't doubt that it'll be a valuable skill to have in this landscape. Metal is an important element in onmyoudo too... even though everything I've seen here is more advanced than what I know.
[ Even in ruin, he can tell this time is not the same one he inhabited. Its wreckage gleams too focused, concise, sharp. ]
Your interest in it means you'll probably adapt quickly.
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So, very curiously, and at the same time timidly… ]
Subaru? Will you tell me more about your home?
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I can. [ Subaru stops near the fire pit, his notched branches held carefully in his hands. Whatever he has planned for them he mindfully pauses, giving Caelus his full attention instead. ] Was there anything specific you wanted to know?
[ He does, of course, think firstly of Japan. But then — Caelus has traveled the stars. Would the Earth itself be more suited? ]
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Ehh, let's see… [ What does he know about Japan so far? He'll try to review… ] So, so! Japan is… on planet Earth. Where people speak Japaneise! The continent is called A… A… [ Hold on, he has this. ] Aseeia?
[ … Well, almost got it. Look at him, his pronunciation is getting a little better at least! ]
On Earth, there are many other continents I don't know. But I heard of Korea. And Ameri.. America! Is where we are, Manhattan! America is the one that looks like a big whale on the map! I heard the term New York too, but I don't know what that is.
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Yes, we're in North America. Within that continent, we're in the country of the United States of America. New York is one of those states. Manhattan is one of its districts... ah, boroughs, are what they're called. Even though it's an island.
[ Shifting again in consideration, Subaru moves across the parking lot, kneeling to pick up some of the smaller rocks, bits of concrete, and other sturdy debris. ]
My home country, Japan, is also an island.
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Wow! So America's so really, really big!! [ Well, it did look super big on the map, but Caelus couldn't estimate how big it actually is. ] You have to show me Japan on the map sometime. I want to see your country…
So, I'm assuming Japan is bigger than New York… Is it as big as America?
[ He's tailing Subaru around as he moves and collects the small items… ]
Meggy told me you're both from To— to…? [ Oh, crap. He forgot the name! Uhh. It was something like…! ] Toouupyo?
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Japan is bigger than New York, but much smaller than America.
[ With careful hands, he erects the sticks in place. ]
Meggy...? [ Ah. His expression softens. Of all the people he expected to meet here, one whose experiences so closely mirrored his own wasn't one of them. But he is glad they met, that he can support someone bright like him. ] Megumi. We are both from Tokyo. It's the capital city of Japan.
Based on the year here... Tokyo and New York City have a friendship agreement. They're considered sister cities, though I've never seen it myself before now.
[ Even if it's been twisted beyond former recognition, the heart of the matter stands. ]
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[ He did it. ✨ Now he shifts his attention to the finished arrangement on the ground, observing the details of the small structure. He seems to brighten in interest when hearing about New York and Tokyo's connection. The usual Caelus, forever curious and eager to learn. ]
That's cute! … Ah, I really do hope there are survivors outside Manhattan…
[ That's been his hope ever since he learned this is only one island. One that's purposely blocked off from the rest of the world, too. Surely, there have to be people out there somewhere…? Earth is a huge planet. And while Subaru figured out who Meggy is, Caelus will still clarify anyway. ]
Meggy is so tall for his age, huh? I went to check on him a few days ago and cooked a meal for him. I know he can take care of himself, but I still worry. He's still a kid, after all.
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I also hope there are other survivors we'll meet someday.
[ Surely, there must be more. The odds dictate it so, even if he finds himself unsettled and with more questions the more he thinks about it. Motioning for Caelus to follow him and take a seat by the fire pit, Subaru pulls lengths of paper out of his coat pocket. They're blank, not yet used for talismans. ]
He's in a similar trade to mine. Fushiguro Megumi is... very bright. [ In deft fingertips, Subaru begins to weave shide, paper streamers, into a zigzag shape. He goes slow to show Caelus what he's doing. Though his attention is neatly divided between this task and his words, his feelings don't change. There is a strong pulse of recognition and fondness. ] But there are challenges to growing up with the gifts that he has.
I'm glad he has you to depend on as well.
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When signalled to follow, Caelus responds quickly and sits with Subaru, still observing the procedures for the ceremony. The skill that Subaru possesses for his craft is so impressive, it's as if witnessing a professional artisan create an intricate masterpiece right before his eyes. The trailblazer can't help but cheer him on, clapping with a beam on his face. ]
You're so good with that. You must have other artistic talents.
[ Maybe Subaru's great at painting, too. Caelus can easily see that. ]
Mm… I know. He's so mature and responsible, way too much for someone his age. That's why I plan on making sure he has a good childhood! I'll play with him and take care of him as much as I can. He needs to have important fun memories as a kid, and not be overwhelmed with the worries of an adult.
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No, it's just something my grandmother taught me. Streamers like these are used in ceremonies in Japan.
[ When he was struggling to keep up with high school and his work as the head of his clan, art classes were often the first to go. If he has any talent for it, he's long overlooked it in favor of power. He starts on a second streamer, intending to attach them to the notches he made on the sticks now standing upright in front of the trailer. As he works, fingers deft and sure in their little undertaking, near instinctual, his expression mellows.
He remembers the second conversation he'd had with Megumi. That patchwork memory of Shibuya in ruin, the trapped civilians and fallen allies. Being attacked, the window... so much blood for one boy to shed. ]
If you could do that, please do. [ He says, despite himself. There is no taking the things Megumi has already experienced away. There is no going back from the role he was given by the gift of his power, his birthright. But still... ] I know there are things he wishes to do when he returns home that none of us can change. But while he's here, he should know some of those good experiences too.
[ Is it the right place for it? Maybe not. But it doesn't stop him from thinking so. ]
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Maybe aside from Megumi's missed opportunities for a happy childhood, Subaru might have experienced the same. Two lonely souls. The two are similar in some ways, especially in discovering that they have connected trades. They must've received similar training. And it's not impossible to imagine that these two must've suffered in their own ways through life's tough trials.
After all, Subaru did converse with Caelus about the end of the world. He sounded experienced. He must've seen it at least once before, or came close to seeing it before. ]
I will. I promise.
[ But that's not all. ]
I know this is weird to say since you're older than me, but I want to do the same for you. Maybe it's a little late since you're not a child anymore either, but there's no rule restricting it! After all, what will become of me, who lost everything I know?
[ Caelus had to start from zero entirely… Without anything carrying him, what was he to feel? Where does he go? How does he go on? He had to overcome these feelings to get to where he is now. He created his own path, his own memories. He reached out and found his own happiness. Or more accurately, he's still trying to find that now. Is he truly happy? But he believes he's on the right track.
And he wants both Megumi and Subaru to be happy as well. So Caelus smiles, using a free hand to gently touch Subaru's cheek. ]
Let's all make good memories together, Subaru.
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Subaru doesn't know if he has that ability. But he's never found it to feel so within reach. There's a slight dip to his head, a nod that presses his cheek into the touch as an acknowledgement. If not only for Caelus, then for Megumi too, who deserves more than what his blood and talent dictate. What can he do for them?
He doesn't know if he can, but he can try. Even if only for a little while. ]
It's not such a strange wish to have. [ Even at the end of the world, surely there are people who must have wanted to live. ] Just by doing things like this...
[ He hands the second shide to Caelus. ]
I'm sure it'll come true.
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If a friend needs more time, then he'll also slow down alongside them. That's what it means to connect and understand. When Subaru leans into his palm, Caelus adds more warmth to it by properly cupping that soft cheek. There's no doubt in the trailblazer's mind that despite how close they are now, the onmyouji is still somewhere far behind the road. But he'll wait. One day, he's sure that they'll reach each other even more deeply.
Once the next shide is passed onto him, Caelus lowers his hand in order to collect it, putting together the two. The feeling of Subaru's cheek still lingers on his palm, and hearing those words while thinking about this easily melts his heart. ]
That's right. I'll make sure that it will.
[ Wishing can only get a person so far. Caelus believes in the miracle of wishes, but more than anything, he believes in his own efforts. He'll work for it all and earn it properly— the true smiles of people, most especially Subaru's. He's seen Subaru's lovely smile several times by now, but he can't help but want more. He wants to see its entire true form, unrestained, beautiful, and radiant. ]
Why don't we read a book together sometime? You can teach me more English or Japanese that way, too…
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Of course, I don't mind. I haven't found many books in Japanese... [ Once the streamers are in place, he dusts his knees softly and rises again. ] But I should still be able to translate some basic English for you.
[ It may not be all that impressive, but the time spent will be worth it. Standing back, he seems to be mentally checking things off. ]
All that's left is rope... or twine. And two cups of water.
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[ There's a lot of visible apartment buildings right next to this parking lot, which is convenient for Subaru as he can use them as additional rooms, especially if he ever has several guests over. He can also easily restock the water tank in the trailer using nearby sources of water, such as the plumbing access in the apartments.
So off they go, entering the Chelsea bed and breakfast nearby. It's rather messy as expected, but surprisingly, there are barely any signs of corruption. This area might've been one of the lucky ones. ]
This place is kind of cute. It must've been really nice back then.
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In Japan, red... or vermillion, is said to ward off evil. Many shrines are guarded by red gates.
[ He exhales softly as he brushes the accumulated dust from his hands. Nearby, the desk has a few things left on it — one of which is a spool of packing twine. Subaru reaches for it. That'll do, as far as rope goes. ]
Maybe the door is lucky.
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[ These occasional trivia that Subaru shares mean everything for the eternally curious Caelus. He absolutely adores learning about the cultures of worlds, as evidenced by his behavior when it comes to learning about other planets and other people. And there he is again, getting excited over one little fact about gates and doors.
Oh, but it is getting dark, huh. Is it already nearing sunset hours? It seems they've spent a lot of time together today without realizing how time flew by. These days, it has become so natural for the two of them. ]
I'll go check the kitchen. I'm sure there are cups there… Or at least, I hope so.
[ Temporarily parting from Subaru to look for the kitchen in the building, Caelus lets the onmyouji look around more for the meantime. He does seem fascinated by the book collection here. ]
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He notes it in the margins of his awareness. Perhaps he'll revisit this place to take his own pass over the books, the wares, the traces of a home long fallen but clinging to existence. It's nearby to the lot and a park where his birds fly free in practiced script. Later, he thinks. When there's more light.
Stepping closer to the entryway again, he calls out: ]
How is it? Any luck?
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They were nicely kept in the cupboard! The original owner of this place must've been a very tidy person.
[ Only two of the cups are filled with water, though. As instructed by Subaru. ]
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It seems so. [ Which is a blessing, in these circumstances. ] We can take a better look later.
[ With that, he guides them back out of the apartment and shuts the door safely behind them. Down the steps, onto the sidewalk and back into the lot where the trailer sits against the oncoming backdrop of night. He goes about the last of the preparations: he connects the two sticks with a loose length of twine. Then, he sets the cups of water on either side of the "gate" he's made. Standing back, he pulls a length of paper from his pocket, its surface already imbued with ink and magic. ]
I've never attempted this without onmyoudo before. [ What a strange world still, to not have it, but something that feels as if it was crafted in its shadow. ] But the steps should work the same.
[ Curling his arm and releasing it in a quick snap, he flicks the paper at the gate and it flies as if alive, the rune on it casting a thin wall of magic for it to stick to. ]
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The tiny device can temporarily power the fairy lights, but it won't last the whole evening. Maybe around an hour at most. However, lighting up the area isn't the point. The main purpose is to see its beauty: the soft, glowing lights which set the mood, even if only for a short while. Caelus wants Subaru to witness that soft glow, so he decides to sacrifice some of his energy to charge the generator tonight. It'll make him a little dizzy after, but it's worth it. Besides, this is good practice for him to become stronger.
Just in time. Once Subaru flicks the paper and casts his spell, Caelus's own spell on the generator completes as well. Both of their spells glimmer together, then come fully alive. The fairy lights brighten, shining down on the trailer and within the reflection of their eyes. The full display of Subaru's completed gate. A soft sanctuary in this darkened city. ]
It's finally done.
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In the faint glow of entwined spellwork between the two of them, the spell completes when the water flows upwards from the cups. It curls in soft, quick shapes, then coats the ground. The streamers shudder slightly, and the thread snaps. The gate becomes a conduit through which any remaining malevolence leaves. All at once, the air calms. It's as if some greater energy sighs out beneath the gentle gaze of the lights. All the unease, the maliciousness, the dread — doesn't disappear. But it does soften.
A sanctuary in this darkened city...
Protected by magic. But built by someone's own two hands. ]
It is. Now, the ground is blessed.
[ He bows his head just slightly. ]
Thank you, Caelus.
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The way Caelus can barely remember the date makes his eyes water just slightly. The eternal loop in Amphoreus, what Lygus did to everyone… Ah, but what is he doing, getting lost in his thoughts like this? This is a precious moment, and he wants to remember it that way. So he wipes his eyes, then smiles once more, especially as he turns to face Subaru.
And a nervous, soft laugh, waving his two hands quickly. ]
N… no! Please, lift your head. I'm returning the favor. You saved my life, Subaru. I wouldn't be here now, if it weren't for you… But, I'm really… glad.
[ Very glad that Subaru seems to like it. It was all worth it, especially to feel this kind of comforting environment again. ]
beginning of the month sometime ig
Hey, got a minute?
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[ A wintry return pulse, fluttering like a bird's wing or a shorn flower, a too-natural capitulation to the bond the Murmur brings. But familiarity gives the sensation new dimension as compared to the dream; Subaru has already felt this man's hands, so what cords his mind and heart are also easy to bear. ]
What is it?
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Something to consider, later. For now, he has a different topic to go over. ]
There's a—[ Arthur pauses, searching for the best word to describe this. ]—method I wanted to tell you about, to help discern a dream from reality. I don't doubt your natural ability to keep both feet on the ground, so to speak, but when we're dealing with dreams like the one we met in ...
[ He trails off, letting Subaru fill in the rest. Sleep's dream (or rather, One's, because Kalmiya had corrected that notion) had been ultra-real, even with the fantastical elements. It catered to the senses and had a solidity that was abnormal by usual human standards. ]
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[ A brief hesitation only now manifests. ]
There have been points since I woke up here where I've wondered.
[ Concession. Weakness. ]
ARRIVES 3000 YEARS LATE WITH STARBUCKS
[ Okay, not the point, but hey. It's there. In case Subaru had any doubt of what kind of person he was. ]
You wouldn't be the first. Don't think you'll be the last, either. This place has a way of blurring the lines. [ His hand closes around the cherry red die, the edge digging into his palm like an odd comfort. ] A friend of mine came up with the theory of a totem; a small, unique object you could carry in your pocket. Preferably weighted–not a coin or currency, since too many people would know what that feels like.
[ Mirroring Subaru's earlier hesitation, there's a moment of conversational suspension, a breath before the plunge. ] Hers was a little metal top that would spin forever in a dream, instead of toppling.
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..."Hers" lands with such softness that Subaru understands on instinct alone that the "was" following it must ache in recesses that he rarely allows anyone to see, let alone touch. Silence follows in acknowledgement, though he measures the weight of its knowing against the light of his consideration. He's trying to help, so he puts his focus in the corresponding place. For now. ]
Assuming its total uniqueness to its owner, that simple object would be difficult to translate into the language of the dream without suspect variations. It's a genius idea, really.
post One's regrettable sacrifice
I'm afraid to inconvenience.
rest in pieces
Is something the matter?
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An adjacent complication.
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Of what kind?
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You sought it out.
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What opinion are you looking for?
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Though already, I can tell you that invocation was made by choice.
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[ He doesn't intend to stop. ]
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( For whatever curse sleeps on it to consume two would be — )
After all, our happy little family isn't at the point of sharing assets. But I'm not so crude: bearing in mind I'm but a humble veterinarian incapable of shouldering the Sumeragi fees, what might I owe you?
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His blood wasn't meant for you. I expect the cost will already run steep.
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Do you want to know? If you have the blood of a dead god on your hands?
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( Already hopelessly compromised. )
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Bring the blood to me.
[ In one piece. ]
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Manhattan is a lark like this. Sakurazuka Seishirou, battered, bruised, one arm regaled with the bandage fittings shielding a somnolent stab wound, the flickers of his flitting gaze quarry-like, diffuse. He doesn't knock — sends the tacit invitation of a pulse through their strange trinket of a bond — but waits outside, like every stray on the porch, legs mutinously kicked out over slitted stepping stones. Gravel swims in his stillness.
Cold at midday. Colder still at night. He stirs from exhaustion when the door creaks. )
I should have brought a house-warming gift.
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Even if — it sings truth. He couldn't promise him without lying. ]
If it were any other celebration.
[ Maybe he would have accepted it as tiding. As it is, he pulls the door open wide in its own scrape of ceremony, standing aside for him to enter. Knowing tempers the green-glinting trouble of his study, any urgency that would have flourished beneath it. To help yourself to another's offering is an exercise in withstanding. ]
Come in, anyway.
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Wind at his back, a groaning door, dust travelled in gravel beneath his dragging footsteps. Wallpaper flayed in stiff, thick peels at waterlogged edges where green peers between electric fittings. Dead LED and predatory fern, cottagecore chic.
For once, along stairs and throttled corridors, he does not offer to remove his shoes. )
Should I really be here unchaperoned? The new generation is quite forward. ( After all, how can Sumeragi Subaru resist his debilitated and impoverished charms? The dark circles attached to the dark circles, that's what modern men crave. ) Tell me you have a cigarette.
( Look at him. Lie. )
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Bereft of a kettle proper, a pot boils water in the slender hollow of a kitchen behind him, dutifully stacked with all manner of pilfered tea and non-perishables more suited to Hokuto's stylish eye than his own. Subaru has hosted more blustering, starlit intrusion here than he ever did in his last nine years of existence. ]
I do. [ A lie, halved. ] But not your brand.
[ He remembers the scent of it, the coat it over sugar, blossom, antiseptic. Only nostalgia has given him any trace of it, much like nostalgia crushes the reconstituted shape of his worry beneath its heel. Another half, the chosen half. ]
Do you want to persevere with it, or against it?
[ The disrespect of his worry is swapped for the disrespect of his knowing. ]
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He feels indiscreet in his lassitude, thoughts mothballed, gestures sugared and slow. The hand that holds his temple, pulsing dark, nearly slips off the table. He catches it — himself — with an amused startle, the balm of Subaru's persuasion a difficult exorcism. )
Mmmmmmmm...? But I'm such a devoted man. ( To his cigarettes, if nothing else. Support the government's triumphs, buy local. Mild Seven or bust. His fingers drum a beat lost at sea. ) I'll start one for you. It won't count.
( Cigarettes have their ritual, start to finish. Not every quick anonymous puff in the dark is love affair. )
Charming place. ( Perfectly idyllic — and his gaze rains down over the tragedy of porcelain geometries stacked in a gravity-defying heap in the sink. Cup count: three. ) A nice place to entertain.
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And here they are. Here he is, complicit.
An ashtray joins the table by way of slender fingertips; cheap, plastic, the mainstay of an apocalypse that delights in shattering more refined glassware. Then a pack of cigarettes already picked open, tobacco old, brand long faded off its paper insert. Taken from an international shop in Times Square, one that had long been rendered inaccessible by Charlotte's stage, suddenly reopened by her defeat. Subaru offers him that but keeps the lighter, thumb tracing its sparkwheel in a brief weft of thought. ]
It's more a place of study.
[ — is what he settles on. There was a small library once, its most boring books misshapen by the pages torn from them as a means of kindling or talisman. And in contrast to the emblematic sterility of his Shinjuku apartment, there is dust, ink, scrap, cup rings half-formed. Languages all around him, like Sleep's runes ruptured, Japanese failing, the tabletop stove burning through its meager propane reserves as the water churns toward blessed volatility.
Subaru doesn't sit yet. ]
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( After all, the twelfth head didn't raise her successor on coffee.
Ashtrays, cigarettes, the accoutrements of a bad idea delivered with the sobriety of a crime scene. Sumeragi Subaru only ever belongs in black-and-white cinema, a leading product of romanticized doom and gravitas.
One of them must attempt against the convalescing health of Seishirou's lungs. In the way of his people, the Sumeragi dithers. So, then: Seishirou captures the cigarette pack, turns it each way and over. Logo conveniently stripped, but the forget-me-not blue of the packaging betrays the French staple of Gauloises and Seishirou's venerable age in tandem. One cigarette, on the cusp of crumbing at the tip.
He drags it to his mouth, lets himself enjoy the pallid weight there, the minute discrepancies from the memory of Mild Sevens. Then, he sinuously leans in towards dearest Subaru-kun, tacitly inviting his lighter fire like every high-end courtesan committed to making the month's rent at a jazz bar. )
Don't tease.
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When it visits me, yes.
[ Which is more often than he expects but never refuses, still. ]
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In the hands of an ancestral enemy, every threat is insincere. Deliver death or don't. There is no suspense, no crescendo. Near his face, Subaru's hand is complacent. Near his heart —
He nods his thanks, dips in, holds his cigarette stiffly in the line of fire with one hand, shields the nascent flame with his other palm from invisible gusts. Old habits of stalking and prowling in the great outdoors die hard. Then, he leans back and — breathes in, the staggered, muted squalor of stale tobbacco blossoming pleasure his lungs have gone so many weeks without, their lining is surely by now practically virginal. His eyelids sweep shut.
A second inhalation. Get the cigarette started, he said. He allows himself the indiscretion of a third with a knowing, ingratiating smile at the joke of his person, shared between them; there's hardly enough ash to shed, but he sanitizes the tip on the ashtray, only to prolong the familiar weight of the cigarette in his hand.
The fourth puff is for the road. Someone's road. The fifth, only because four is unlucky. And that's enough.
Cruel fate. Damned stubbornness and pride. He turns the stick so the flame faces him, trapped between his thumb and pointing finger, and offers it to Subaru. )
Fushiguro Megumi likes to walk around. ( But he's one morsel between many mouths, and Seishirou suspects, not so unique in retaining the auspices of Sumeragi Subaru's undivided attention. ) Who else?
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...but neither is he one to sow a lie where there isn't one. The one time is silty now, sedimentary.
Another in a long list of unforgettable transgressions.
Subaru places the lighter on the table and takes the cigarette instead, promise and pride metamorphosed. Fingers touch where flame hadn't and he lifts it away to whet his less discerning taste in liaisons. Perching it between his lips, his inhale curls with him when he turns and paces the few steps back into the kitchen. ]
Agent Choi. His trade is similar to ours. [ An exorcist in theory, a civil servant in name. He's knowledgeable, though Sleep has made his bones malleable instead of his magic. An Offering, not a Token. One cup extracted from the pile and then rinsed, placed beside a new one. What teas he's been given are mostly plain and black — no sugar, no spice, no mint leaf or milk. People certainly had their first pick of preferences at the world's end. ] Caelus.
[ This place is already a hunting ground, but their numbers are few enough that he names them without pretense. ]
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But no. Sumeragi Subaru is incapable of more than auctioning the interminable reserves of his patience and civility to the widest smiling bidder. He has never met a desperate cause or tragic child he would turn away. Whatever her sins, whatever her bedside manner, his grandmother well called the sickness of his overly sympathetic heart.
He smokes well, for all of it. This isn't a nostalgic game entertained to embezzle the first and last dregs of Seishirou's absenteeing pity. Subaru-kun holds his cigarette proud, his mouth pursed, his gaze diffused; he inhales without care or consequence. What a fantastically sophisticated pedigree pet.
At leisure, Seishirou introduces the stretch of cotton from his breast pocket, a handkerchief thinned by obsesive buffing, drenched in every colour and texture of ichor. Dread and despair, mounted on Sumeragi Subaru's kitchen table. Standard fare in a long day's work. )
You're not the only one keeping busy.
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Subaru glimpses back, the mundanity of his task arrested. Alarm rings keen over the adult topography of his expression, peeling back the lines of age, the unkind narcosis of the years. There isn't much that the Sumeragi head hasn't touched by now. There is no mystery in the mire of a pallid corporate exorcism. There is no mystery in the dog's head he pulls up from the shallow earth, the yuurei so mistreated even in death that its contagion becomes onryou. Contractual, obligate. Safe.
This, though...
The need to know flares through him. ]
...what did you think of it, [ Subaru ventures, bringing the teacups to the table. He sets one down at each place; his own will soon be forgotten. His attention dilates and suddenly he's handing the cigarette back to Seishirou to clear his hands, to — look. Not touch. ] the ritual that lead up to this?
[ Not a mantra but a hymn before all the world went dark. ]
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The cigarette's peace hangs in the dubious balance of Sakurazuka Seishirou's unwavering hand. He pretends for a moment diluted to taut pulled-honey string that he will neglect it past its decorative advantage. A mere accessory to the crime of his ethical anomie.
Then, statue livened, he lets his hand drift the cigarette close to his mouth in the inevitable evolution of guttural, snapped puffs. )
It felt — ( And what a word they've been reduced to, the intimate animal comprehension of an intellectual phenomenon. ) Primitive. Unpractised. Throwing whatever's on hand at a wall to see if it sticks.
( One's blood, evidenced in Seishirou's souvenir, certainly did. )
These aren't sophisticated actors. At a first glance, I'd assume the work amateurish. Or tribal.
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One arm braced in front of him, Subaru hovers his opposite palm over the handkerchief, a slight inhalation of energy calling it upwards to unfurl. One incantation tacks its corners taut on the invisible barrier of his magic's interest.
Looking, but not touching, conditions upheld. ]
The people here are fond of him. One.
[ One, whose bloodletting desecrated a whole city block and its church. ]
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Only, it's Sumeragi Subaru, superlative scion, blood of some or other emperor or Fujiwara, jade bead among his grandmother's tightly clutched pearls. Of course he's naturally flawless in execution, the invisible but prickling flow of his magic only drawn imperfectly taut when his gaze snags on Seishirou. Ah. He's flesh and bone, after all.
Seishirou's smile is a gift contingent on every next instance of human fallacy. Choose your miracles wisely. )
Are you surprised? They're saviours infatuated with a martyr. It's a love match for the ages. ( Has anyone ever seen finer? And isn't Seishirou grand, conversational, patient in the long wait for Subaru's decryption of whatever tacit code One's blood enshrined in parting generosity?
A forlorn pang, the tapestry of his — Subaru's cigarette woven a new slate line. He sighs, takes another puff. Then, he looks at the smoking stick with something like incredulous betrayal. Oh no. Now he's done it. )
I'm not giving this back to you, am I? Damn your eyes. ( Mmmm. The thoughtful, laissez-faire hum. ) Eye.
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[ Lightning quick, supple-spined instinct, unspecified between the cigarette's betrayal and the eye's betrayal. Against the sloped architecture of his palm delivering a potent dose of magic inquiry, the cloth hums in protest of his perusal. It quakes against the ward he's pinned it to, transmuting from polite butterfly-winged souvenir to a snapping animal, leg trapped in the jaws of a winter-hidden bear trap.
His fingers bleed first with the inky reservoirs of his new magic. Then they bleed in actuality, skin flaying in soft, papery cuts. He bears it because he knows the price. He's not tracing his runes in Japanese, in Chinese or Sanskrit. He's tracing in the broken, smeary glyphs he'd seen in the church, puzzling out the invocation One pledged to Sleep. ]
...It's not surprise, necessarily. [ Subaru returns to the notion even as the table shakes and his blood flutters, plastic and porcelain rattling. ] But there is a notion many are carrying about why he did this.
[ Bliss, fire, endurance, sacrifice. Harmony, suffering, strength, battle. Each line traces elegant, blunt, parsing. ]
Drawing her eye wasn't for any of our sakes. [ Divinity. Divine will — the blood glares back at him. ] She promised him something.
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Sumeragi Subaru's viscous signature hangs like a noble web of drippings, and the cloth hungers for me, like open maws. It's the trouble of things: grant an object sentience, it grows its own appetites, its own lures. Blood now tasted will forever be craved.
This time, Seishirou palms the handkerchief, first claim clean and fleeting, the second scrunching cotton, violating stuttered gasps of lace. And conversationally, as if a petty rite of spiritual dissection didn't accelerate between them: )
She's a child. All children know how to do is seed ruin or die. ( And she's ill tempered and impatient and strong, too strong by far, big of bones and small of virtues. She's a Sumeragi hurricane in fallen New York's tea cup, absent the discipline of restriction.
There's a wound weeping on this Sumeragi's hand, where the price was paid and truth born. He has no means to mitigate it past the banal. And so, he nods carefully: )
Thank you. ( A professional sacrifice still calls for some recognition. ) Now. Did you see god?
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No. It has power, [ that word weighs on his tongue like it has a taste. ] but not divinity.
[ Because there is a difference between a god ordained by its heavenly birth and a god made so by another's will. One is knowable. One is — knowable. ]
He may be like a god from where we stand. But it also might be that his power was given to him.
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( A god old, a god new, a god borrowed, a god too good to be true. Sleep's emissaries, her martyrs, her chosen. Something doesn't add up — likely because this is an operation of petty funerary subtractions.
There's more here than meets whichever eye. Between Sumeragi Subaru's distracting magical talent and enviable pulse and Seishirou's alert cunning and practical impulses, between the two serviceable pillars of their sight, they make, together, one wholly functional person. Twin star, or simply star-crossed?
The shadow of Seishirou's fingertips splinters in an ichor-refracted kaleidoscope, floating over Subaru's hand, wakey-waking the furnace of his marks. Deeper than new-found sakanagi, is that claim. Deeper than hurt. And it greets its master in tacit convulsions.
He finds himself sinking his palm down over Subaru's, shepherding both away from the handkerchief, flat out on the table. His cigarette sleeps the tremors of its last sleep in the ashtray. )
You can't keep it. ( For sake-keeping or further study or whatever linguistic perversion might excuse Sumeragi Subaru's misplaced enthusiasm for occult eeriness.
In a wasteland so far from home, sweet and forever home, his head droops onto his other hand, cushioned on Subaru's kitchen table — and he spies the pallid, hiccupped start of nascent constellations peering on the midday sky, ready for the night hour of winter drawing her skirts. He can't stay here in the evening hour. For now, his suitors have abandoned him, but appetites are fickle, and men strange.
Still, a moment. Feline, half-wakeful respite, drunkenly jittery. He is tired, feverishly tired, can't afford sleep. )
Tell me... tell me about your latest cases.
( Talk emptily, bonelessly, without meaning or purpose, just as Subaru might have when he was still a fresh-faced novelty morsel at the head of a shambles clan, and Seishirou infiltrated his sister's dinner table. Bad habit. Too nostalgic. He's never —
His eyelids tremble, so close to shut. )
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— his fingers twitch, the jewel-facet inlay of his marks sitting prettily in the gallery and bridge of Seishirou's hand. There is little resistance in his wrist when guided aside and away from the handkerchief. (Look, only look.) So little that he doesn't think to remove it even when the journey ends with both settled on the table.
There are still things he wants to ask. But the last tang of a dying cigarette's nostalgia bids higher.
Don't touch, or he ends up like this: half-asleep in the sworn enemy's unimpressive kitchen. ]
Alright. [ Subaru retrieves his blood-splattered teacup. Its tepid contents wet the height of his heartbeat; it'd escaped his attention, crawled secretively, destructively high in his throat. ] My last formalized contract was this...
[ And he goes on to recount the remaining days as the head of the Sumeragi, among the bellowing of dragons as they cracked Tokyo's ribs raw, teeth trailing the human belly of its innards over the land that would serve as their apocalypse. Beacons of humanity that would make anyone welcome the end, were they to look too long: a resurrected husband to be returned to ash at a desirous mother's behest; a week's worth of exorcisms at a demolished soapland condensed down into a single Sumeragi ceremony; a rash of murder at the hands of a woman believing herself to be the host of kitsune tsuki, an arbiter of slaughter for petty slights...
On and on, never as emptily as he might prefer. His schedule was as busy as a Dragon of Heaven as it was when he was clumsily thundering around his apartment trying to redress after two-hours worth of sleep. A bad habit, too nostalgic — You can, is what he thinks in the case of sleep and affordability. ]
another post one sacrifice --
... how is my coworker?
we barely knew him 🕊️
I'm alright. You felt it, didn't you?
near far wherever you are i believe that one will go on ~
You ... you are all right, aren't you?
[ The question he wants to ask if "how." Is it some trick as a Sumeragi? Or a Dragon of Heaven? Here he thought he knew all their little gimmicks... ]
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It's not uncommon, [ He explains without being asked outright. ] for those in my line of work to witness ritual like this. Maybe not on this scale, necessarily...
In light of it, how are you feeling?
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[ A laugh - or one that he forces. It has the sound of canned laughter from a sitcom. ]
Drained, if I'm honest. Drained from emotions that aren't even mine and horrors that I've not ever experienced.
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[ Anything else is, well. Not normal. ]
Do you want me to take it away from you?
1/3
[ A soft hum then a pause. ]
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A sensation of how nice that would be - how easy it would be to let these feelings flow off him to someone else. He won't have to concern himself further with this matter. Ah, that is a very tempting offer. ]
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No, no... it's best I carry this. It'll keep me from making silly mistakes.
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I was thinking of trying to earn enough brownie points with Sleep to have her tether to me, but now I think I should hold onto these terrifying feelings to remind myself to not do that...
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[ If that's what she really is. ]
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However, I'm having second thoughts.
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...there are other ways. If you really want to know.
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But it's also possible to scry less orthodox things. Like blood.
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I'd love to try.
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[ And, unspoken: it's likely the only reason why he's willing. ]
You can name a time, but I'd prefer to pick the space.
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[ He hums. How long will it take to ease his worries? Not that long. His easy-going nature - the nature that lets all trouble roll of him - is a blessing as much as a curse for those around him. ]
How about in two days time? In the afternoon?
[ A small laugh. ] I live quite far so it'll give me time to get to where you are. Since you're doing me a favor, the last I can do is put in the literal leg work.
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Understood. But I'll choose a location closer to you. After this ritual, your body might not be in any condition to travel long distances.
[ Forward. ]
Unless you'd like to stay with me for a time.
[ ...even more forward. ]
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It'll be like a sleepover.
[ Hm. ]
Have you ever had one of those?
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Not in the traditional sense. Though I suppose...
My apartment has been busier than I'm used to, as of late.
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[ A beat. ]
Subaru, what do you like? Like what would you like as a gift? Even though things are as they are -- [ A dreary situation where it's hard to find supplies. ] -- I think bringing a gift when visiting is still something I should do.
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[ Souvenirs, good tidings for longevity, health, luck. So on. Though he supposes this landscape makes even the smallest offering mean more. So, he exercises his pliancy: ]
Tea and paper go fast here.
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[ Another very soft laugh. ]
They do. So... I'll see if I can find you some?
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I'll accept, in that case.
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Thank you, thank you. I appreciate your help and presence so much.
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I'll be sure to take good notes and attempt to get a good grade in blood rituals.
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I hope to get an A in this... so even if you feel like you're not a good teacher, I promise to be your best student.
the offering / guy who rolled a 1 on the subway trip
clumsy, staggering footsteps drag him through the city. laid over the buildings, his vision flickers to show what they once were—how they became what they now are. the fear rises up in his throat like nausea and in his ears, he can hear it, steady and continuous:the chanting eggs him on, and his head feels like a mess. it hurts, it aches, it stings, but at the very least, it's not so far gone that he finds himself unable to recognize the fact. he's not thinking clearly, and he knows he's not thinking clearly. it's hard to think clearly—but maybe if he's lucky, if he gives it a minute, it will pass.
under the red light of the moon, agent choi leans back on what's left of a dingy bus stop bench, closing his eyes as his lips move intermittently of their own accord. ]
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It only becomes a chase when he tries to reach out through their tether and finds it deadened, as if a wall of static has come down between them. It weighs heavy in his soul. There are breaks in the noise, full of distortion: searing flashes of pasts long gone. Futures wrought by divinity's purging hands. Then, to his ears, the mantras. The hymns, repetitious and discordant. Each notches fear a little higher in Subaru's throat as he tries to locate him in the debris of their connection; he wears the emotion well.
What precedes him aren't the clatter of footsteps, but the flutter of wings. White birds wheel out into the street from an alleyway, bigger, sharper, stronger. Cast with more intent and more formidable magic. They circle, paper and song, some shooting up into the moonlight like signal flares, some coming to land near Agent Choi. As if to say:
Someone is looking for you. ]
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until they aren't.
birds cut through the scene painted by the succumbence, tearing through the remembered fear as easily as if it were the papercraft here. they climb and they swoop, and when he turns his head to look, they look back, expectant. the sight of them brings a name to the tip of his tongue. something familiar. something important. but as he opens his mouth to speak it aloud, what comes out instead is a chest deep cough, as if some kind of mold itself is trying to climb out of his throat instead. ]
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But because he feels it, he knows their connection is still there. His heart steels over that singular thread of importance as he approaches, more impulse than rationale — instead of letting it fall through his fingers, Subaru seizes his hand.
If Choi is forgetting what shape he takes, Subaru decides to trace his outline by placing it against the sheer willpower of his own.
If this is Sleep's spell, he intends to reverse it. ]
There's something speaking to you. [ He intones, steady and low. His other hand comes to rest against his face, blessedly cool, spiting the blood heat of the moon. ] Shut it out and listen to me. What were you going to say?
[ What is familiar? What is important? ]
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what's familiar, again? what is important? the name that had rested on the tip of his tongue is gone, replaced by something else: ]
There's somewhere I have to go.
[ that's right. he was on his way somewhere. there's some place that he needed to reach. a safe place. a smile curves across his lips, strained and stressed, but a glimpse of the person he's supposed to be all the same. the city he perceives, twisted by memories that aren't his own, shudders, but he hangs tight onto what he's certain belongs to him. turns his attention away from the other, towards the chaotic thrum of people in the street. ]
West 22nd street. I shouldn't be sitting around.
[ there's an association that's tugged on in the mycelium web of choi's mind. a picture of a young man with cropped black hair and dark blue eyes. a feeling of being scolded, and the worry he knows to be behind it. but he's fine. he is. he will be. wasn't he? ]
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And now, this rot wants Choi. It calls for him, the thinner his recognition for what's real becomes. Whatever threads have hooked into him are carrying his memories away, supplanting them with others that have long since passed. Subaru's gaze flickers upwards, vision doubling as he struggles against the strange, alien current he's accepting into himself also — he sees flashes of it, Manhattan as it was. Vibrant, an unmatched metropolis teeming with life. Manhattan as it became, shrouded by the moon's fall. And...
Manhattan as it is now. Cracked by the teeth of some incredible force, older than the stars. ]
You... [ West 22nd. Blue eyes, juxtaposed across the memory of safety. ] ... were on your way to me.
[ There's no one else here. The streets loom empty and Subaru tries to remind himself of that the further he strains the tether to reach into whatever it is that's trying to wrest Agent Choi away from him. His fingers twitch away from his face, but his opposite hand still holds tight. ]
That's why I came to find you. Do you remember?
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on the contrary, it welcomes subaru into the interwoven web of memories like a warm embrace, as if inviting him to become a part of it too—little different from agent choi now. maybe that's what makes his voice sound clearer. closer. lighter. it emulates what the conversation might have sounded like under better circumstances. ]
Oh? Lucky me.
[ that smile of his widens slightly, flashing white teeth and sharp canines. someone willing to come all this way just to find little ol' him, it's almost enough to make choi feel bad for worrying him. still, the recognition doesn't settle in, and for all his smiling, it remains guarded. cautious. but there's something, something about this man... for a moment, as they talk, it feels like standing in the eye of the storm—no longer swept away by its winds, but simply watching them rage around himself.
it does feel familiar. ]
... Subaru? Is that your name?
[ he can't recall the face of that person, but he can remember the name, at least. if he really reaches, he can remember why too. a tour underground, trudging through empty subway tunnels with grim curiosity, and a cracked mask that he couldn't imagine letting anybody else pick—had taken for himself. but that feels far away. distant, as if long past. what's happening now is different. is it? there's doubt underlying the thought, but it feels difficult to disprove when it's still happening all around their quiet conversation. the panic, the screaming, and worst of all, the eerie calm that comes with her influence. ]
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This brief interstice between storm and soul may be his only chance. The truth dances through the contours of his awareness; all he can do is navigate the flow of memory as it whispers in and roars back out. It wasn't the moon, its light red, wet. He gazes into the memory to see that it was darker, closer. So it was the subway...
He should have known better than to let him go so easily.
Warily, he keeps watch for the fungal influence, though he doesn't cast any spells to repel it. With how interwoven it's becoming with his psyche, he can't risk it. Not yet. ]
Yes, it is. [ Subaru pauses, then sits down next to him on the bench. ] Can you tell me...
[ Did he reach out because he knew...? ]
...what you called me for?
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I don't like it.
[ tethers. even if he doesn't say the word aloud, subaru might know this—might have guessed through his reluctance, or perhaps read into it with that sharp insight of his. he could even feel it, if he tried. that vulnerability and uncertainty. the association choi holds between it, and risk. the risk of playing into sleep's very desires for them. the risk of losing himself. the risk of becoming contaminated, just like so many hosts before him. ]
But have you noticed?
[ even as he says it, it's still a mess. he can't direct it well, blindly grasping for whatever amongst the stack of scattered memories he can identify as his.
the images flicker through their connected consciousness. first, a striped, blackened arm that ends in what might be better described as a set of claws than fingers. something that subaru can see plainly in the place of the hand opposite of the one he's holding. contrasted against it: children. they stick close to you, an adult, with faces and bodies covered in pus-filled ulcers, infected mermaid 'tails' dragging behind them as they shuffle forward. it's contamination. the recognition is shared between the two of them.
but contamination has never been a solely physical change.
red. red, like the moon that hangs overhead. red, like the blood that stains his teeth and his tongue. red, as it poured from his wrist, and from that person's, and their shoulder, and—and while shame surrounds the memory, it's absent from the scene itself. euphoria. relief. it transitions back to third person—to a smiling, used-to-be-civilian clerk in a supermarket chain that shouldn't exist. they pull a still sane survivor closer, forcing a struggling arm into a blender with blades sharp enough to gut through skin, through muscle, through bone. and they're no different from those children: slowly dying, unable to so much as wish they could leave the sparkling ocean palace they see projected over the ruined remains of a city. in reality, it's little different from their own manhattan.
at least agent choi can still wish to leave. that thought is grasped tightly in his hand. it squeezes around subaru's as if it's his very last lifeline. as if this tether were the only thing that remains between himself and ruin. it might just be.
because maybe... that caution of his was unwarranted, just this once.
he leans back on the bench, his smile fallen and expression thoughtful. disasters, they tend to have a kind of narrative component to them, don't you think? they play on words, on emotions, on memories and experiences and tropes. they're never entirely baseless, or else there would simply be no way to combat them at all. it's the very thing that allowed their destruction king rookie have earned that name in the first place. with excellent logic, you can see what the ending to that story is—you can close that book.
agent choi isn't kim soleum. neither does he want to be. he can't close this book, not yet, but... maybe he can find a meaning in it.
maybe "connection is what makes us human".
he remembers struggling clearly. he remembers the too large moon and the instincts and impulses it's tried to force on him. he remembers the moments the sun sets, not once or even twice, but every night, and the paranoia it brings. he remembers a cautious comfort at sundown, reluctant but trying. holding his hand out to the person beside him. and he remembers, most of all, a sense of clarity and purpose—a weight lifted from his shoulders, a renewed vigor, as he'd stepped back onto charlottes stage.
he remembers feeling human, more so than he has during any of his time here. in that now so far away moment, he rests his head against subaru's shoulder beside him.
...
maybe he did know. would subaru blame him? ]
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He sees it now, how long he's been struggling against nightfall. Subaru wanted to protect him so badly that he forced the connection in a moment of weakness and desperation. He doesn't know that he can trust this magic any more than Choi can trust the way these feral instincts have metastasized to his humanity.
But he decided long ago — doing something is better than the comfortable safety of doing nothing.
Is it selfish? It must be. Did he know? He must have.
He gazes at his hand clasped to his own, the tension banded brightly in his knuckles. Hands are a language. He knew this as an onmyouji, knows it now as a runecaster. They are the conduit through which words may be conveyed, the arbiters of all emotion, understanding, and human resonance. When he envisions it, a tether, he imagines something he can glance his fingertips off of, something he can touch. Energy he can bend into forms that better suit the cosmic bloom of his will. It's a language he's sought all his life. And it's terrifying in its potential. Hands are instruments of prayer, connection, and unthinkable violence. Subaru's scars burn, even if they remain unseen.
To feel human is to feel the breadth of it, even in the blinding syllables of regret. If Choi doesn't trust what his hands are becoming in the blood-melting presence of her, then Subaru will trust them for him.
Softly, so softly, he places his other hand over Choi's, thumb tracing the little bones beneath this skin.
So, he doesn't like tethers... ]
Do you like me, then?
[ To invoke, to speak, is the other conduit of language. It's how stories survive. ]
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Haha! Sure, let's go with that.
[ it doesn't sound wrong.
agent choi does like his kindness—the heart that seems to bleed into his even though he doesn't quite deserve it at a time like this. perhaps he understands that precious, selfless instinct well enough himself, but it's rarely found in others. he likes that sharp thinking of his, but isn't that a necessity for their line of work? he likes his patience, and the way his too-fast world seems to slow down in a shared moment with him. what do they call that, again? theory of relativity, right? he likes sharing cigarettes with him too, and chatting under a moon that hangs far too close for comfort.
so he can say it easily: ]
Yeah. I like you, Subaru.
[ their connection may not have started out as anything special, or even particularly personal. no more than agent choi's instinct to protect him had been. they're both just exactly that kind of person; they can't turn their backs on someone in danger, or in need. is that the kind of situation it was?
in the beginning, maybe. but somehow, it did become important to him—the hand that was held out to him in a lonely place like this. ]
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I'm glad. [ His touch traces something on the back of Choi's hand. ] Is that why you kept it?
[ Their tether. ]
Even though I thought... it'd be fine. If you snapped it the moment the fighting was over.
[ Instead, it's become what allows him to be here. It's what allows him to find him every time, no matter how maligned the moonlight is. By his side on the bench. Sunken down into the tempestuous flutter of his soul, transmuting the sigil he draws on his hand from the physical to the spiritual. ]
I resolved to let you do that, if that's what you wanted.
[ Yet he hadn't. ]
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Hmm, that seems a little cold though?
[ after subaru went through all that trouble for him, enduring the crashing tsunami of agent choi's tumultuous heart. it strikes him as almost a little ungrateful to toss him aside so easily, though his reasons aren't entirely unselfish either.
if there's going to have to be someone at his side to endure through all of this... someone who he places his faith in, just like that blue eyed boy he'd been trying to reach, and someone he trusts well enough to let himself be seen in a moment of weakness like this? it's a tall order, certainly. even now he finds himself hesitant. reluctant.
but if it has to be someone, out of everyone he's met so far... ]
Well, anyway, I was the one who said we should make the most of what we've got.
[ just as he's done tonight, taking advantage of subaru's kind heart. ]
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...but isn't this always the way? His clumsy words, sowing hurt even now, no matter how good his intentions are. ]
Maybe you're right.
[ Where his fingers slacked in wonder, they now regain some of their strength. Enough to layer the sigils in a flat band of light on his skin. It permeates down through his physical body, into the tether, through bone and blood and delicate synapse. Subaru delivers this pathfinding spell to him deep in the recesses of his soul where all these memories coalesce. He doesn't force it this time. He wants Agent Choi to choose it. ]
If that's so... [ If he likes him enough. ] will you follow me out of this place?
[ Away from the grinning jaws of succumbence, poised like a trap. ]
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it's just that going back sounds nice right about now. ]
You're gonna keep holding my hand so I don't get lost?
[ there's a playful, teasing lilt to choi's words, straightening himself up and lifting his head from subaru's shoulder. his eyes rest first on his hand—their hands, really, fingers still intertwined. on the slowly fading glow of the sigil that's sunk into his skin. even dissipated he can feel its presence, warm and familiar. then, he turns his attention to subaru, smiling warmly—tiredly. ]
Alright, let's go then.
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A working exorcist's day is never over, it seems. ]
You can try it. That mark I left to you.
[ Once Choi rights himself, Subaru lets go of him with his topmost hand but keeps hold of him with the other. He pushes to a stand in a flutter of his runecast birds, some of which swoop low and then dart off ahead. Paused there, he finally pulls to beckon him up to his feet. Movement shatters some of succumbence's spell, though he can still feel the circling of its miasma, ready to exploit weakness. And weakness thrives here, in wounds, in scars, in the dream-torn faults of this reality.
Subaru hefts the weight of his hand up. ]
If you're having trouble finding your way, invoke it. It'll show you through.
[ Here, in these streets exsanguinated by the moon, or in the close corners of his heart, where all the things he fears and distrusts might actually dwell. All he needs to do is put his hand against the obstacle and watch the way the light works. ]
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but choi will allow himself to be pulled up to his feet, giving his legs a stretch and suppressing the yawn that gathers in the back of his throat. it wasn't such a bad nap, but now it's time to return to the waking world and all the responsibilities that come with it, right? so once he listens to subaru's explanation, choi will go ahead and reluctantly disentangle their hands himself. his shoulder still brushes against the other's, but he holds his out in front of him to examine it.
so it's that kind of spell, huh. ]
Okie-dokie.
[ as eloquent as ever in these broken, still burning remains of what manhattan had once been, he'll close his eyes. his hand is still held out, fingers splayed, but this isn't such a physical obstacle that he's facing anyway. rather, in the midst of these memories that don't belong to him, their sorrow and their fear and the eerie sense of peace that still licks at his heels, pulling and inviting him closer, there's something specific he's looking for. a lifeline that no longer feels quite so delicate as it once was.
and if choi wraps his hand around it, following it to its source...
it will guide him back to their manhattan, where he opens his eyes to a city no less broken, but now familiar enough to call his own.
the space at their feet and all around them is clear now of the blooms that had been attempting to embrace him in the dream, but his scar itches, and subaru will see it ringed around his neck: the beginnings of a kind of fungal lace. it's still early yet though—nothing that an absent set of fingernails can't dislodge, and choi looks down with an expression of distaste as he examines the remains. ]
Eugh. What the...
[ which is to say: he's probably fine now. ]
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Welcome back.
[ Because Choi is standing here with him now, squarely on the desolate pavement of a red-seethed Manhattan. The one that exists now, the real one — whatever it might count for. His sigil did its job, its ink dark and alive, drawing strength from that of their connection. No longer torn in two, oscillating between the conjured pull of memory and the hymn of the moon, Subaru can also breathe easier.
Though his expression does briefly snag on his scar's latticed intruder. He holds his hand out for it. ]
Does it hurt at all?
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[ this scar, it's probably easy to tell just by looking at it that it hasn't healed so well, but he'll place the latticed fungal growth in subaru's hand anyway if that's what he wants. his fingers linger for just a moment as they brush against his skin. then it's a glance to the ink marking the back of his hand, back to subaru, and choi'll reach that hand around to rest on his opposite shoulder, pulling him a little closer.
his grin starts off bright—proud, even. ]
Anyway, I knew I picked the right guy for the job~
[ before softening a bit. ]
Thanks. Again.
🎀
You can call on me anytime.
[ He nudges into his side. ]
We shouldn't stay here long. It's still not safe.
[ And, in leaving behind the bench, in moving forward, a quiet glyph ignites in his palm, burning the growth to ash in his closed fist. Let it be a warning to the rest of it. ]
Nearing end of Week 4
The usual stop, in the Chelsea neighborhood. The soft sunshine easily replenishes some more energy to Caelus, who undoubtedly appreciates the light after weeks of constant dark crimson. So he's all smiles as he stops by the familiar trailer in the parking lot he's come to know so well. He peeks around the area first, checking if the trailer's handsome owner is around the parking lot or the fire pit. Tip-toe. Tip-toe.
Then, he sees a recognizable silhouette at the window. He quietly comes up to it and tips himself up, but he can only reach with the upper half of his head. His gray hair and golden eyes are visible from the frame. How long until he's noticed, he wonders. He stays there, not saying anything yet! ]
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Then, it's not Subaru who notices him first. At least not technically. ]
Just here to spy? Or would you like to come in?
[ — Subaru's voice from overhead, quiet and slightly echoed. One of his paper birds sits on the roof of the trailer, peering down at Caelus. This one looks more realistic. It's bigger and more refined than its fat, tiny cousins. Subaru's voice was projected from it by the rune that glows faintly on its back. It pauses, then specifies: ]
Not through the window.
[ Inside, his movements have slowed, knowing. Onmyouji are difficult to sneak up on. ]
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Wa— wah, wah—!!
[ Caelus quickly tries to swing his arms to grab hold of the window frame, his two palms landing right on it as he ends up in a funny position out there. Thankfully, he doesn't fall over and hurt himself. He lets out a relieved sigh, then feels a bit embarrassed. ]
Sorry! [ Then, Caelus is about to enter through the window (raccoon…) but gets stopped by Subaru before he even raises his foot. Subaru knows him pretty well now too, it seems! ] Ah. Y— yes!
[ Straightening up, Caelus lets go of the window now, so he can go over to the small staircase and enter through the door properly. He knocks once before opening it to slide inside, then leaves his skateboard by the doorway. Once in, he quickly runs over to his dearest, and is about to embrace him, but—!? ]
Su— [ "Munimuni!" ] … Su—! [ "Myuu!" ]
[ Caelus freezes just before the hug because a certain creature keeps making noise from inside his messenger bag and interrupting his moment. It's not visible yet. Well, except for its fat gray tail sticking out from the bag. … But this won't stop him, so he connects the embrace eventually, even as the squishy little noise keeps going nonstop now. "Muni! Munimuni!" ]
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However, when he finally comes in properly, Subaru finds himself likewise stilled at the half-enacted embrace, brows rising somewhat. In the trailer, he's obviously been busy. It looks like some kind of magical study: it's stacked with books, some for reading and some for harvesting paper, various pens and writing utensils cracked open for their inks and graphite, writings tacked to the wall, candles, drying fungal blooms, a small pile of string and bells. All things in approximation of his craft, now altered by Sleep's magic. Given a place of practice now, thanks to the one trotting through his door. ...With company by the looks — sounds? — of it.
His gaze flicks to the messenger back, then back up to Caelus. ]
It's good to see you out and about again. [ Let him start with that. Behind him, the kitchenette is actually flecked with dirt. His fingertips and palms are also smeared in soil. ] You... brought someone with you?
[ Curiosity tints his tone. ]
Happy 🦃 Day!
[ Finally able to say the greeting. 🌸 Ignoring the tiny noises for several seconds, Caelus takes his time enjoying the fond embrace before letting go. It's been almost two weeks without Subaru's company, so he missed him! Let him have this! Finally, once happily satisfied, the trailblazer takes a step back. He's wearing much less bandages compared to last week, indicating that he's almost entirely healed. Maybe in another week or two, he'll be bandage-free. Then, he nods to answer the question. It's time to introduce his new friend.
So Caelus shifts to open the bag, and almost immediately, the cake-shaped trash cat leaps out and lands on Subaru's shoulder. It lets out another "myuu" before sitting on the shoulder comfortably. The cake cat is very pudgy and soft. ]
It seems both of us have been busy experimenting.
[ That's what this creature is. Caelus eventually managed to figure out how to create his own homunculus after days and days of failed attempts. He was bored at the hotel, stuck in bed, so what's he to do? All he had for company most hours in the day was his amassed collection of trash and other materials. Thus, the experiments commenced.
Now that the trailblazer has the chance to look around, he excitedly turns while letting Subaru bond with the cake cat. His excited pair of eyes observes the impressive progress that the onmyouji has accomplished here. ]
Are you studying something in particular, or are you attempting new things as I did?
🍗🍗🍗
— it's not studying, exactly. Here, take a look.
[ Standing aside with his hand to support his soft, fluffy cargo, Subaru uses his other to indicate a big plastic bucket in his sink. It's filled with potting soil; the open bag of it sits on the floor by the counter. And most importantly, there a few healthy vines planted in it, some with tiny bulbs of growing fruit on them. ]
After the sun finally rose again, these plants were growing from the concrete nearby. They don't look touched by rot. [ Even if — it gives him pause. These are surely her work, but he hasn't looked beyond that yet. He can guess the reason for a blessing to be fulfilled after the last few weeks. ] It took some effort to uproot them, but if they can be kept alive like this...
[ It speaks for itself. They'd have a more reliable food source. ]
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When Subaru calls Caelus's attention to the sink, the trailblazer walks over to peek at what could be over there. His curious eyes increase in size once he realizes what this is. These plants look quite interesting (in fact, they look rather beautiful compared to the cursed plants around here), and the fruit looks… actually quite good! ]
Wha… It looks so fresh! What is this?
[ When Subaru mentions it hasn't been infected by the rot yet, Caelus's excitement skyrockets. He hasn't seen these plants yet, considering this is the first time in a while that he's gone out of the hotel. ]
Could it be, there are more living creatures out there that possibly still survived the rot like this one? I thought they were all gone, at least here in Manhattan… This is amazing!
[ "Myuu! Myuu!" Even their newest friend seems to be celebrating with them. ]
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There's no way for me to prove it, but... [ His free hand lowers into the bucket to very gently twist some of the leaves in his fingers. It tempers some of his hesitation, the reality of the sensation, how cool and alive it feels to his touch. Even now, some weeks later, what happened beneath the red glow of the cathedral's glass is a sore spot for many. ] Given the timing, it may be a blessing for those who offered something in the cathedral.
[ This is closely related to his line of work, after all. Dealings with gods, with the divine, with sacrifice. And, hopefully — what everyone wishes for at the end of the suffering. The reward. ]
That's just my opinion, however. There's no way for me to know unless Sleep contacts us directly about it.
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A baseball bat not of this world. Caelus materializes it by holding his hand out, and it shines blue, then takes a physical shape that he can touch. Once he holds it, it looks natural on him, as if seeing two that reunited after a long time. ]
I think you might be right, because I regained this…
[ It may not be an official confirmation for the plant itself, but this is still solid proof that Sleep is rewarding them for their sacrifices. Though Caelus is glad to have one of his weapons back, he can't fully appreciate it right now because he gained it through horrible means. And he doesn't like the idea of Sleep rewarding them for their pain.
The cake cat senses its master's sadness, and starts trembling against Subaru's hand. ]
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But more than that, he senses the conflict that its presence draws to the surface, the remembrance and the discomfort of knowing his worst actions were rewarded with something that's clearly important to him. ]
Do you regret it, Caelus?
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[ Failing to protect, then landing himself in that situation… Maybe he earned these injuries as punishment. It feels horrible to fail to help, especially someone he cares for. That's why he didn't expect Sleep to reward him for it. The thought makes him feel sick. ]
But it already happened, and I can't do anything about it now. I have to… be stronger for next time. So, I don't want this to become a weakness of mine. With it, I'll change things.
[ Caelus clutches his baseball bat, straightening up as he looks at Subaru once more. The cake cat eases, feeling both the comfort of the onmyouji and the renewed determination from the trailblazer. He smiles just a little. ]
Never give up, even if I lose.
[ Familiar words. The mood is different from the first time he said it, but his spirit is unchanged. He still means every word. ]
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No one is without weaknesses. But they're important hallmarks for what path you've chosen to take.
[ He doesn't specify in what way — each person is different. Those like Caelus, a trailblazer, use them as beacons to denote what must change in order to become strong. For people like Subaru, a fate-chosen Seal, they lie at the crux of his soul, enshrined. Governance for how he interacts with the world.
Pulling his hands away, he motions to a few more vines he'd carefully extracted from the broken concrete, laying next to the sink ]
There's more, if you'd like to help me replant them. I'm not sure all of them will survive, but it's worth trying.
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Meanwhile, the cake cat decides to curl up into the younger boy's hood, turning it into a cat carrier. ]
Yes, of course! Please, let me help. [ Wait. He just remembered. ] … Oh!
[ Now his hand rummages his messenger bag again, shortly taking out a very recognizable long jacket. It has a pleasant baby powder scent (the smoke scent is gone), and it appears to be treated well, indicated by its clean look and well-folded state.
A familiar sticky note is on it, too. Clumsily written on it, in English it reads, "SUARIU, TAANK YUU! IT WAS RIERY WARM. COMFIE. 😊" It's signed with, "
CAARUSCAELUULet me go ahead and put this away for you first. Where shall I put it?
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Opting to keep the note where it is for now, Subaru indicates the small cabinet above the stairs that leads into the bedroom. ]
— thank you, those doors there. You can set it on the top shelf.
[ He's going to prepare another bucket, meanwhile...
The interior of the tiny closet space isn't much to look at either, aside from a half-empty carton of cigarettes, some clothing items, the decorative box Aventurine left him, and an old cup full of various writing utensils. ]
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Hey. [ "Muni?" ] Don't "what?" me. Come out of there.
[ "Munimuni. Muu. Myuyu." ]
No! That's not— [ "Myu, myuu!" ] I said n— no! Don't laugh at me! Anyway, I said to come out.
[ The cake cat ignores him… It's making itself right at home in that cabinet, causing the trailblazer to make a "I can't believe this little punk" face. Caelus has to really reach into the cabinet to reach and pull out the cake cat, which lets out some whining afterward. He sets the cat on the floor after, allowing it to play elsewhere than to curl up on Subaru's clean clothes…
Once the cat starts rolling around Subaru's floor to explore the space, Caelus returns to the older man's side and smiles nervously. A bit embarrassed. ]
Sorry about him. Galactic Baseballer Jr. likes to break the rules. I'm actually surprised by how well-behaved he is when you held him earlier! He never sits still like that for me.
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[ Briefly, Subaru and Galactic Baseballer Jr. meet each other's eyes. He smiles a bit. ]
Isn't that so?
[ He watches it puff its body up proudly before leaving it to its adventuring. ]
You made him? [ Subaru turns his attention back to the task, turning the faucet on to wet the soil. ] He has your magical signature.
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You should have seen him after he was born. He messed up my room and ate some of my precious materials. Punk!
[ He worked hard to collect those! What is he going to do now? He'll have to start all over again to find more. But he can't roam around too much yet, since he's still on the way to full recovery. He's still on the therapy part, trying to move his muscles a little more (through these walks) so they can recover better… He'll have to wait to restock. ]
Ah, but yes! I did. It seems this is part of my new abilities as well.
Galactic Baseballer Jr. isn't my original creation, though; I have a biologist friend from my universe who designed these creatures. But I know their DNA structures because I work as her assistant, I have created more of them to increase their population, and also further developed them from their original forms.
[ Caelus is impressed that Subaru can tell easily from a glance, but it makes sense that he can. Subaru's really talented as a spellcaster! Galactic Baseballer Jr. is also impressed, so it rolls over to the onmyouji's feet and starts fondly rubbing itself against them, purring audibly. ]
You think Galactic Baseballer Jr. is too long a name? I'm trying to think of a nickname for him. Galaxy? Baseballer? … Baller?
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Babies do tend to navigate with their mouths. [ Uncertain of what something is? Into the maw it goes. Subaru regards its purring kindly. ] Aren't all things that are just born going to want to eat and grow? Even if it's unfortunate for your collection...
[ whose side is this guy on?? — anyway...
Subaru picks up one of the vining stalks and hands it to Caelus to plant. ]
You probably shouldn't call it Baller. [ His opinion is purely professional. ] He looks like a dessert, though. What about drawing inspiration from that?
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[ That's true, huh? … Caelus is suddenly making a "Σ(° □ ° ˶)" face, looking quite guilty. Guess who shoved weird stuff in his own mouth after awakening for the first time? There were so many things that fascinated this space raccoon on his activation day!
But then it shortly turns into "(•̀ ⤙ •́ ˶)!!" face when Caelus realizes that Subaru's being biased!? for the cake cat!! Understandable, but still!? Can't stop him from being jealous of the cat. Little punk just got here today! For five minutes!
Galactic Baseballer Jr. keeps purring at Subaru's feet, but takes a short pause to look at Caelus. … "Munimuni. Myuu!" The trailblazer's eyes stare in disbelief after hearing the cat's words, but he attempts not to react. No, he can't look lame in front of Subaru. His heart is a calm leaf on still waters.
Calm. He gently receives the vining stalk to continue working quietly, trying to maintain a zen smile. But his tether is a different story, isn't it? That tether is inconveniently spilling how jealous he is right now. ]
What if I call him Mud Pie?
[ He's not serious. He's just pouting. ]
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(But he isn't kicking the cat off his feet, either.) ]
How about Anko? Or Sesame.
[ So serious, on the other hand. Too serious. ]
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[ The trailblazer has yet to eat food like that, since none of the planets he's been through so far are similar to Japan. But Caelus looks very interested, seems to be really considering "Anko" as a name. Whatever it is, he has a good feeling it's fitting, especially as Subaru picked it out. He trusts his judgment, after all.
Galactic Baseballer Jr. — soon "Anko," starts jumping in excitement and emitting a bright, flowery aura. It seems to like the name, too. ]
I guess he's Anko now, then.
[ "Myu, myuu!" It sounds so happy… ]
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Anko. [ He repeats. ] It's a popular sweet bean paste used to fill different kinds of cakes and breads. It seemed like it would be fitting.
[ If the near-constant purring and sparkling atmosphere didn't give it away... ]
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Hmm.
[ 💢 … Whatever! Caelus is going to concentrate on his task. This is for Subaru's sake, so he has to finish it properly! At the very least, Caelus can listen to Subaru's explanation (therefore, hearing his lovely voice more), and he's content with that for now. ]
I hope that I can get to eat that sometime. It sounds delicious.
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[ As a baseline, nothing scavenged is all that fresh, even packaged, but the possibility isn't zero. There are so few of them that he's certain they haven't uncovered all that there is in a city as big and porous as this. Accepting the cat into his arms, he gives it a brief moment to gloat before lifting it to his shoulder and prompting it to take a seat there. Quietly, with an admonishing boop to its nose: ]
There. Behave, if you can. [ The Okay? is implicit, but seems to do the trick. Casting a glance now to the second bucket of vines, Subaru's expression leans thoughtful. ] If anything, seeing real plant life here has shifted the scale of what's possible...
[ Though he's not certain he'd like to experience something akin to the cathedral's beckoning every time, either. ]
For now, we can place them outside. If they really are Sleep's blessing, then what sunlight we have should be fine.
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Why is it so loyal to Subaru, even though its master is Caelus!?
The real answer is because Caelus's Artificer magic isn't stable yet, but he doesn't know this. In the future, any more homunculi will also be as rebellious, but they'll be more obedient to him once he has become stronger. ]
All right! These are done, so let me help you carry them.
[ Since Caelus's natural strength is impressive, he can carry heavier weights, and thus makes it upon himself to do most of the lifting. He follows Subaru outside, looking around for a nice, safe place to deposit the plants. ]
Maybe I should build a small greenhouse for you here sometime.
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On the way out to the front of the trailer, Subaru shakes his head. It would be a sight to see, but he wonders if the effort will bear enough fruit, both literally and figuratively. ]
If these vines survive, it could be a valuable asset to everyone here. Although I wonder if I'm here enough to tend to them right... I couldn't ask you to put in that much more work, in that case.
[ The trailblazer may not have tapped into his full magical potential, but he's no less an architect for the settlements they've been raising around the city. He is also a light, shaking loose the dust from the disused corners, transmuting what he touches for the better. Around the front door, there's a clear space where he's stacked an upside down milk crate. He spends much of his time outdoors, so if his observations are correct, they should catch the most light there. And as he indicates where Caelus can put them, his expression briefly flickers. ]
...is it really alright? For you to be lifting so much. Your injury still isn't healed fully.
[ It's in the care with which he moves, the intermittent says of bedrest keeping him from his typical travels. ]
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[ It's a tiny, happy reminder that Subaru did agree that time when Caelus said the first statement about being strong, back when they first met. It's been quite a while since then… Realizing that, Caelus makes a nostalgic smile as he laughs gently. ]
Time really passes, doesn't it? It feels like yesterday that I met you, but it's been two months…
[ Heading closer to the crate, Caelus carefully puts down the haul, making sure the plants are centered properly on it. His movements are a little slower than normal, but he looks fine for the most part. As long as he doesn't push himself too much, it'll be all right.
Wanting Subaru to worry less, Caelus decides to lighten the mood. ]
I'll tell you something. Mr. Sakurazuka is heavier than these plants!
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More than he sometimes knows what to do with. And still... days like this are nice, likewise tinged in the soft tones of nostalgia. ]
Yes, it does. And you've been helping me since we met.
[ More than he likely knows. More than Subaru can explain. It's no small feat for someone who's entire lineage fell to him before his age hit the double digits. But his brief reverie stalls, instinctual. Whatever thought he'd almost gotten lost in fades. ]
...Seishirou-san is? [ His head cants as if he thinks he misheard. ] How do you know that?
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[ Whether or not Subaru is conscious of this, Caelus wants to say it directly either way. Perhaps all those past words of gratitude helped the onmyouji realize it, but the trailblazer will never pass up chances to remind him of his appreciative feelings. This warmth is real, and he intends to keep it that way.
As the days pass, Caelus's determination to accomplish all he strives for only grows stronger. Seeing Subaru's lightened expression, looking so adorably curious, the younger one easily renews a radiant smile. ]
Also, I'm not the only one who wants this.
[ Rather than explain, it's easier to show him through their tether. How did Caelus know? And who else wants Caelus to be here?
So once the plants are nicely secured, he straightens up and connects their hands. Two hands holding another pair, he gives them a gentle squeeze before he thinks of that day. The memories flash for Subaru. The moment Caelus yells, "Watch out!", the memories are clear. A desperate, but successful escape. The brief bonding on the rooftop. The promise. ]
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[ It's strange, how common words feel as if they carry the weight of the world when Caelus says them. Having traveled many — maybe they do. When beckoned, Subaru allows his pale hands to rest in Caelus's as a means of invoking their tether's conduit. Part of him is lost on what he should expect to see following that series of statements... but the tether draws clear most things, and this is no exception.
He almost can't believe his eyes.
Or at least the imprint of sight over his own, detailing the memory. Surprise gusts through him in several shades; not least of all thanks to the incessance of the moon creatures' hunt that Seishirou had tried to hide from him, but the ensuing row, the pipe, the bat, the viscera and the howling, the unceremonious toss that lands the man of his dreams and of his nightmares across the roof of a building like a bug on a windshield. Subaru is somewhat glad he doesn't have to imagine it, because he doesn't think he could on his own. But oh, he knows. Exactly what thoughts prowled the narcotic edges of the Sakurazukamori's sterling propriety in that moment. Instinctively, he tightens his fingers.
Only the following conversation staunches the flow of his emotions. Please look after him. It lances through him with the alacrity of lightning, an anxious static blooming across the back of his neck. The connection shivers with it, shies, knotting the fibers of his heart into a daisy chain of unanswered inquiry. ...Is he always the last to know? What measures Sakurazuka Seishirou will take to close his fist around the hollow of his heart and claim it only when it's too late?
Irony. A brilliance calculated by one of the most skilled onmyouji of their time. Sumeragi Subaru has always been one step behind the Sakurazukamori.
Memories seethe through the gentle cracks, but none quite manifest. Not the Kamui wearing the face of Monou Fuuma. Not the last wish now made second-to-last. Not here, in the wake of sunlight and blessings. Something seems to burn alive on the backs of his hands, but Subaru's skin remains smooth, unbroken. ]
...I see. [ Slowly, as if his tongue is suddenly ill-fit to his mouth. But he finds the strength this time, grip fortifying. ] Thank you, Caelus. For protecting him.
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But Caelus doesn't need to. He can tell enough that these two are so, so lonely. And they care so much for each other, but they somehow can't extend that properly at all. There's nothing that Caelus can really do but be there. To be right here. That's what he'll continue to do without faltering. To protect these two souls, to give them the chance he promised… Perhaps one day, this uncertain torrent of emotions will transform into something else. So he steps closer to end the remaining distance between them.
Mindful of Anko, Caelus wraps his arms around Subaru's shoulders as he embraces him tightly, squeezing with all his spirit. Perhaps finally, he did manage to repay one part of this delicate onmyouji's neverending kindness. ]
Subaru, you are incredibly loved. I hope you don't diminish that from your heart.
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It's obscured not by choice, but by the gentle, undiscriminating opaqueness of his own heart.
He is... loved. Doubt scrawls itself in ink-hues over the sound of his blood as it pulses, hot with fear, in his ears. He is loved, he thinks. He thinks it, over and over. He thinks its meaning, its misunderstanding, what it signifies to be here in the aftermath of it. He no longer hopes, having what he most sought pushed into his hands in a wasting moment of utter destruction. Also a brilliance calculated by the ephemeral heart of a jealous, jealous man. Subaru is loved in ways he doesn't understand for himself; what he does understand is that Sakurazuka Seishirou means to wield Caelus against him in his vast, unerring capacity for hope. Hope enough for the stars.
Arms coming around his shoulders makes him jolt slightly, out from the thoughts he coils like a serpent's scales at the bottom of his soul. Exhaling softly, he gives himself to the strength of Caelus's embrace for a moment, his much softer grip steadied on his sides. If he can just leave it at that... it's better, he thinks.
Anko shuffles on his shoulders, prompting him to pull away slightly. Hands soft on him for a moment, Subaru pushes, the ghost of a movement. ]
We should get you back inside. I'll make you some tea.
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Of course, he's aware it wouldn't be easy. He was prepared for it. But this much? Was everything Caelus built from the start all just… an illusion? He thought he was going somewhere. Maybe this is his own fault. What could he have done better? He should've been more patient… Should he persist? But what if doing so will make it worse? For now, maybe he should… should follow Subaru's instructions quietly.
Even if his heart is screaming something else. He tries to smile, coming out a little awkwardly, but still sincerely. ]
… Ah, yes. All right.
[ Anko trembles again, but makes no move to leave. Seemingly knows what Caelus really wants to do, so it stays right where it is. Close, right on Subaru. Caelus follows the two inside, his hands closing into tight grips. ]
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There is something else in there with him, always. Prowling, strong, fated. His equilibrium shifts with invisible memory, with the falling reminders, and only when his actions seem to settle back in his body, the pot of water, the cup, the tea, does Subaru's tether thump uneasily back to the surface.
Sensations float over it like the colors of an oil spill, refusing to mix in the brief interlude of connection; those colors are Caelus's hurt, the spark of loneliness that might ignite it.
It's not precisely guilt and not precisely sorrow that he feels. It is... acknowledgement, tender in the recesses of his overused heart. ]
It's not your fault.
Spoiler warning for Amphoreus going onward (canon updating)
Caelus loses consciousness with half-open eyes, the light within them gone. The slam to the floor is not kind, and the Stellaron within his chest bursts with a golden glow, pulsing over and over. Anko lets out a distressed mewl, repeating the same cry as its trembling worsens.
"… Do you think you can try, Subaru? I wonder if you can calm it as well, if needed."
"If it comes to that, I'll try."
For you.
Physically, it doesn't seem like Caelus is breathing, but he's alive. His tether is alive, just… somewhere else. Somewhere so far away, beyond anyone's reach at this moment. Should Subaru attempt to communicate with that tether, he'll be taken along into those distant dreams. A dream of a fallen planet far beyond Earth.
Amphoreus.
The sound of book pages being turned can be heard somewhere on the horizon. A girl's voice will echo, saying, "My Darling… My Deliverer… Over here." With one turn towards the voice, her silhouette will be there, waiting. She reaches her hand out, beckoning. Subaru stands in this strange space, alone at first, but Caelus's figure soon appears. He runs past the onmyouji, seemingly unable to see him. Subaru is now a dreamwalker once more, here to witness it all as the book pages turn. ]
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Something flares in the comfortable confines of this place that isn't home but sometimes feels it. It nearly happens against a plane of time that isn't the one they occupy — it draws long and echoing. It reaches through and it slows the painful thump that sears through their tether, the dim flutter of gold that rolls back until it takes him. Caelus's fall rattles the walls of his home and his heart. Instantly, his emotions disappear back into the inscrutable well of his heart so that all else guiding him can resurface into the strong, fluid tether they share. Moonlight shearing bright because of the will of the sun. ]
Caelus?
[ Action, because the price of inaction comes at a cost too steep to bear. Subaru barely has time to breathe his name before one swift movement takes him to his knees at the trailblazer's side. One hand steadies on his cheek to hold his head up, the other presses down on the golden light of his Stellaron leaking from his chest. He steels, magic burning on his palm, invoked with such power that ink winds up his arms in bold, runic strokes. ]
Caelus! Can you hear me?
[ But nothing comes. Not even breathing. Only the presence of their tether gives Subaru any indication that he is alive, but in his effort to grip it and follow it through to wherever he's gone, gentleness seared by dread, it plunges him into —
Not his soul. But a dream.
He inhales quietly as Caelus, alive, goes running past him. Relief floods him, colliding with his curiosity as he wheels around to look in the direction that he takes.
Pages... paper. A tool of creation. ]
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The voice that asked is distorted, so it's impossible to tell what the person is like. The voice seems everywhere at once, but always seems to be whispering right into Subaru's ears. A short laugh follows.
"The answer is… Destruction. The fear of Destruction keeps life moving forward."
The girl in the horizon makes a sad expression. But once Caelus reaches her, the girl's smile is renewed. The silhouettes of the two disappear shortly, and then a series of flashes begin.
"33,550,337 cycles. At the end of the 33,550,337th cycle, the death of a God will finally occur!"
The memories of this tragic planet are nothing but a series of recurring deaths. This is all to perfect the equation of Destruction: "Eternal Recurrence." To earn the gaze of the Aeon of Destruction. Following that, it's to birth the Lord Ravager, Irontomb, into the waking universe. In order to kill that particular God.
And so, over and over again, Subaru is subjected to witnessing the cycle of destruction. The early cycles start small— petty crimes, unfortunate murders. But as the numbers grow, the destruction worsens. Famines, pandemics… And more. Wars, genocides. The people have never stopped suffering— their tears never dry. Their voices never stop echoing. Despite everything, they've never given up. They keep standing up, moving on to continue living. They get stronger at every new cycle.
Stronger, and stronger. Destruction is the prime mover of life, just like that voice said. That voice returns again, sounding amused, clapping in the distance as if they're merely an audience. And this is all just a show.
"Oh, it appears there's an unfamiliar face here. But you're just a lost soul, aren't you? You can't do anything but watch." The voice reveals itself finally, underneath a spotlight. A strange entity stands there, staring at Subaru with a sharp, cold curiosity. It's the complete opposite of Caelus's innocent curiosity. Not the gaze of someone who wishes to connect with someone wholeheartedly, but instead, the gaze of someone who looks at the subject like a common lab rat.
To be studied, then discarded. Just like this planet, Amphoreus.
"No matter. You can't interfere, so might as well make yourself comfortable… And witness the end to this story!" ]
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In his one lifetime, he sees this similar path in its infancy.
To witness it millions upon millions of times... he can't look away, nor can he seem to bear it. Knowing a forest burned to the ground will rise anew from the fertile soil doesn't ease the pain of the loss, of all that died in it. It doesn't protect it from that same fate.
His heart aches with a sensation too vast for him to contain it in, cut through only by the voice that singles him out in this dream. Subaru's expression steels and he doesn't look away; he isn't afraid of whatever entity it is that greets him, taunting and sure. He knows he doesn't belong. He's no Dreamseer, no traveler of the stars. Only his thunderous, unyielding connection to Caelus keeps him here. And whatever this dream and the tether that guides him through it mean to show him, he will watch for him and not simply out of an inability to do nothing.
Even if he can only look on. Even if there's nothing his two hands can do to save the planet as its revolutions wheel on and on, towards ruin every time.
And so, he waits for the end. ]
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But it's not enough. Being able to destroy a planet isn't enough to kill a God. And so, it continues on.
The strange entity appears beside Subaru again, seated comfortably on a couch. He crosses his legs and lets out a dramatic sigh. "Lost soul, what is your name? Hmm, perhaps I'll call you…" Seconds later, multiple lights scan Subaru's body. Quick, efficient. "Aha. You will be PleiD219. You may call me Lygus."
176,200. Irontomb has learned inheritance. Rather than start from ground zero at every cycle reset, it shall inherit and execute all the necessary processes to evolve further. These petty little deaths do not matter anymore. They need to ascend further, closer and closer into divinity themselves.
7,091,231. Humans have truly ascended. They're now capable of killing demigods. Heroes are born.
11,749,992. The Black Tide. The planet has reached a critical threshold and can no longer withstand the increasing strain. Erosion, decay, corruption… All that's touched by this blight is beyond recovery. Plants, animals, oceans, earths, cities, humans… No one is safe.
Heroes rise and defend the people. No matter if they're killing their former loved ones, corrupted into mindless monsters. But they remain powerless against the Black Tide, eventually dying to it themselves.
But this is no good, either. If they die so easily, then they are weak. More. Ascend more.
19,110,218. The Era Nova. The heroes survived and made their last bastion, but at what cost? Can they still go on? No, of course they should. There's only one path forward. No matter how many die to the Black Tide, they will never entirely fall. They will reach the end of Era Nova, into the new world where they can be reborn, to be free from all of this ruination!
28,371,274. …
"They say that the heroes of this world should be as countless as the stars… Yet now, we're the only ones left standing. So, in the end, the black tide still swallowed everything…"
"… Why? Why must Amphoreus's wishes be so… cruel? We made the best choices we could, whenever we could! But in the end… the prophecy that led us… this black tide swallowing everything… Why does it look like this?"
"I… I don't know. But we haven't had any other choice… except to move forward. Not for a long time now. Even if we only see the long, long night ahead, I still believe… that through it, we'll find the dawn on the other side. Beyond these flames, a new sun will someday rise."
"That person we're waiting for… One day, they will come."
Suddenly, everything turns black. Lygus stands up, and an indescribable aura rises from him. "PleiD219, you must be here because of that Intrusion Variable. I hope you've already said your farewells, because I'm not letting that little error disrupt my progress. I'm at 99.81% to eradicate that Aeon, Nous! We are so close to witnessing true history!" ]
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He is likely a threat, but Subaru's attention remains transfixed on the planet. On Amphoreus. Caelus mentioned it to him in that first waking encounter. How he'd been trapped there for years, cut off from communication....
— each revolution of this planet rises to brilliance like diamond pressurized by fire only to be shattered by this force dictating its fate. It is crushed, hewn to nothingness, tamped back down to dust and glass, muted in darkness. But it lives on, each and every time. A heart that is alive will fight to remain so, even if it struggles against plague and injury and hopelessness manufactured under the guise of destiny. The voice echoes in his mind as it turns its lament into a guiding force, hoping for a sunrise that may never come. It's painful to behold, no matter the entity at his side who seems to have a hand in its orchestration —
Is the trailblazer somewhere in here? In all these years that comprise the 0.19% left?
This is not a memory, and not just a dream. Subaru feels the weight of it slowly seizing against the back of his neck. This is happening.
And, as the entity stands to face him, Subaru tenses but doesn't make the first move, attention's equilibrium shifting to him rather than the planet. He can't predict what trying to fight against someone like this will be like; even if this is a dream, the reality of it stands to harm Caelus if he's too rash. It's not a risk he's willing to take.
No matter what it costs him. ]
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Cyrene, the one with the authority of Time in this world, and Phainon, the one with the Worldbearing authority. They are the key figures to renew each cycle.
"This is a moment the universe will remember. After millions of extrapolations, the experimental environment known as "Amphoreus" has finally achieved results," Lygus explains with amusement, yet his tone is cold and detached.
"So, the "results" you speak of... are this wreckage of a world?" Phainon answers with burning eyes, his voice cracking, "We all gave everything we had, returning twelve Coreflames to recreate the world... and in return... We become nothing more than sacrificial offerings at the end of everything?"
"So in your eyes, all the sacrifices are just a string of insignificant numbers?" Cyrene adds, her own tone matching Phainon's.
"Don't sell yourselves short. I'd say, rather than numbers, you're more like "fuel for the fire." And without fire, there can be no sunrise tomorrow."
"Even if that sunrise is born from annihilation?"
"Heh, curious question. Have you ever considered that, after millions of extrapolations, Amphoreus is already following a different Path from the Erudition? It has long since granted divine blessings equally to each child... The golden blood flowing in your veins... It comes from The Blemished One, whose name is "Destruction" itself. And Amphoreus's Chrysos Heirs were, from the very beginning, fuel for the Aeon to burn the universe. Amphoreus has waited for this moment for too long. At the end of the empty, cold, and lonely extrapolations — the Destruction has reached its final destination.
NeiKos496. PhiLia093. No need to feel regret. This generation of Chrysos Heirs is the most outstanding model, and you two are the final factors. For you, the Era Nova is no lie. Just step forward, embrace the black tide, and accept the Aeon's gaze. You will come to life from a string of cold numbers. Along with all those who have passed, you will run toward the real universe, fulfilling Amphoreus's long-held wish— In the name of the Lord Ravager Irontomb, unleash its fury and destroy the source of all this tragedy!
"… Or, we could always choose another option," Cyrene smiles unexpectedly, an idea coming to her thanks to Lygus's explanation. Lygus thinks he's won this. He's trying to deceive them with the idea that they have no other options but to embrace this fate. Is this why he's trying to corner them like this now?
"You're pretending, revealing the so-called truth just to deceive us, covering up another possibility…" Phainon connects, realizing it too. "Destruction is not the only outcome for the fate of Amphoreus."
"Do you two really think, as petty little "demigods," you can change the outcome written by the stars? What makes you think you're capable of doing that?"
"Hmm... A little courage and determination? Just kidding, the answer is pretty simple— But, we're not gonna tell ya ♪"
Before this scene ends, Cyrene looks over to Subaru and gives him an encouraging wink. Almost as if saying to trust her.
A flash. In a different place, Cyrene and Phainon are speaking to each other about what to do, in order to halt further progress of this madness. They've come up with the idea of creating an eternal loop, one that deceives Lygus's system into thinking they're still progressing. But the truth is, they're stalling. Stalling for a miracle. The arrival of their Hero.
And so, they begin their plan to intervene. No matter how long it takes, they'll keep praying for the arrival of that person.
"I will wait for that day. For as long as it takes. The day will come. When someone turns over this nearly eternal page… And follows in our footprints… To write an ending unlike any that ever was."
CYCLE 33,550,336. The memory of the sky alighting. It parts as a train from the heavens pierces through the clouds. The memory of a past Lygus being immediately alerted, and he knocks over something in fury.
"The Astral Express. How did they pierce the firewall? Not even the Path of Trailblaze should've been able to go through it…"
Lygus runs a scan of the descending train, seeing him. The one with a Stellaron heart. Caelus.
"What? Who… is this? No matter. I need to remove this Intrusion Variable."
And so, the start of Lygus's attempts to get rid of Caelus. First, he directly shot the train down as an assassination attempt, causing it to crash land. It was almost successful, if certain figures hadn't intervened. Too bad. Now Caelus is able to influence this world, befriending those he meets, changing their fates by simply doing this.
Stop that. Another attempt. This time Lygus directly uses Dan Heng, trying to convince him to leave Amphoreus under the guise of protection. He lies by saying he can only do this now before the threat of this world grows worse, as he won't be able to do this later on. He's manipulating Dan Heng's protective feelings for Caelus. However, it doesn't work because Dan Heng understands what Caelus would've wanted. And it's what he would've wanted as well.
Because of Lygus's failure to stop the Astral Express, both Caelus and Dan Heng finally discover the truth of this world as well. And it's time… To trail a blaze into the future!
— No. No. Error. ERROR. This time, a more direct approach. He can't allow this. He's so close. This god damned little trailblazing Receptacle needs to die. But he's unable to kill him… Too many obstacles are guarding this Intrusion Variable. Confinement… That's right, he can simply lock him up.
Surely… surely, this time!
Cyrene reappears beside Subaru, taking both of his hands into a gentle squeeze.
"Beautiful wandering dove… Let's pray for our star together." ]
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To wrest it from the jaws of its endless destruction, to turn calculation into courage, to secure its sunrise...
What does it take, he wonders, watching everything unfold between a dream and reality... what does it take to rewrite fate? In defiance, in the burning constellations of hope? He doesn't know. The possibility is so vast that it arcs long into the cradle of the universe, into the fabric of time. But he's not just a spectator. He understands that much when Cyrene singles his presence out, offering him the same unerring belief that carries these cycles through to each end. That man, that entity Lygus — identified he and Caelus as the same thing. Intrusion Variable.
But as he watches the Astral Express descend through the clouds like a falling star, like a dragon, like deliverance, he thinks he understands what the moment that heralds a true miracle is like. Even without it, Caelus is still all of those things, sowing the light of his compassion no matter where he goes.
There is nothing to him that doesn't matter.
And as Cyrene approaches him again on the cusp of Lygus's desperation to contain the trailblazer, the sensation of his hands in hers so real, the soft caress of wandering dove impressing on what he supposes is his soul, he returns the gesture. His fingers tighten in hers.
He may not have the same hope that carries this planet and its heirs and the trailblazer towards that horizon they chase.
But he does have hope pressed somewhere into his faulted heart. Touched by the authority of Time —
...and by the will of the one with the Stellaron heart.
What does he need to do? ]
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The sun's flickering flames will scorch you, draining the color from your skin.
Only when the starlit night shields you from sunlight,
or when the Sun rises to melt away the morning frost, will you find relief.
These present hardships will torture you forever, and no one can save you.
But you have left behind the fire… the fire that will liberate them.
And the fire meant to free you was illuminated long ago."
—Exomyth
[ After Lygus forces Caelus into confinement, the lone trailblazer finds himself in a strange room. The Exomyth, with hundreds of numbers, unsettling red lights, monitors everywhere he looks… ]
This is… the place outside the legend? This doesn't feel the same as before. How should I get back…?
[ An unknown voice pierces the silence, repeating the words on the screens.
Strange Display Monitor: [Locked onto outlier: Caelus]
Strange Display Monitor: [Executing command: Isolation]
… ]
Command… isolation?
[ Then, the next voice. A voice that causes Caelus's skin to crawl. He almost jumps where he stands.
"Since we parted ways last time, I have modified the Exomyth into an "audience area" exclusive to you. Now, you'll be able to silently wait here for the final act of Amphoreus to begin."
Caelus's eyes widen slowly, staring at the void of this place before throwing his arms in determination. His brows furrow. ]
Let me out!
[ But Lygus, of course, doesn't comply. He only lets out a smile, wherever he is. Caelus may not see him, but he can feel that expression. It makes him furious.
"I understand your anger, but I cannot allow you to continuously influence the extrapolation's progress."
Though before Caelus can yell out, another voice comes. A voice of a person he trusts this time, instantly relieving him. Miss Herta.
"Can you hear me… little one?"
Strange Display Monitor: [Warning. Abnormal data transmission detected…]
Strange Display Monitor: [Abnormal data, locked on. Unauthorized communication, confirmed. Initiating response…]
"We detected… another… Path's… influence…"
Strange Display Monitor: [Communication channel analysis completed. Terminating unauthorized communication…]
Its power… is strong… may be able… to help… Use the Path's power… Make it detect you…
Strange Display Monitor: Unauthorized communication, terminated. ]
Is Herta saying… a certain Path's faction has arrived in Amphoreus, and I can ask them for help?
[ This is their cue. Cyrene looks at Subaru and then nods at him, signaling that it's their turn.
"Come, beautiful wandering dove. Let's get our raccoon out of there."
Since the two of them are hiding away from Lygus's reach, they have to do this indirectly. They have to aid Caelus to catch the attention of a certain person in Amphoreus, someone else who walks in the Path of Remembrance, in order for them to take notice of his location.
Cyrene begins, casting a spell to enhance Caelus's attunement to the Path of Remembrance. She believes Subaru will be able to cast his own personal light on the trailblazer, so that Caelus's concealed presence will stand out more. Enough to be found by his allies. ]
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There is a way. His will, that same will that puts the stars within reach, that doesn't shy from the cosmic burn of them, the grief inherent, must be able to push through.
Even without a full grasp of what's transpiring, he feels as though he doesn't need it. What's gathering here at the gates of this planet is something that can only be done by someone like Caelus, he's certain. His reach, his influence, his ability to connect others...
Subaru can't hope to ever achieve the same. But if Cyrene chooses him so, if she calms his wings, even if only for a brief, beautiful moment in time, then he will choose too. He's never been content with the absolution of doing nothing. So, he writes it as he's always written it: not onto paper or skin but into the fabric of this dreaming reality. In the blooming ink of his will, the gate of stars he was born to. A spell that might crack the desolation of being confined, that might allow light to pour out.
A spell that says, "I am here."
They're familiar strokes. The same as those he's imparted on paper and sticky notes, onto the palm of his hand.
Ignite it. Light the way, Caelus. ]
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He looks at his hands. He sees it all, especially this gentle ink that connects to a certain someone. Subaru… A familiar warmth fills him, recalling the gentle faces of the people who matter so much to him. Of the memories he's made here. Of the reasons why he's fighting so hard. This planet, Amphoreus, and a planet that he has to return to after all this, the planet Earth… He has much to accomplish. He can't stay here like this.
So, Caelus takes hold of the warmth enveloping him and calls out, raising his hands.
"I'm here. I'm right here. So, please…" ]
— Answer me!
[ And answer they did. First, it's Evernight, who reaches out to him to shatter the cage. Even she has someone dear to protect, so she will never allow the Destruction to reach that person: her other half, March 7th. Following Evernight's reach, Sunday has made an attempt as well, then eventually it's Dan Heng who has done everything he can to finally locate Caelus entirely. ]
Come… Leave the cage of logos… The mythos of Amphoreus… waits for you to continue its story…"
[ At this point, Evernight returns into March 7th's heart, allowing her other half to reemerge. After being reunited with March 7th and Dan Heng, they are finally ready to continue their Path to Trailblaze. For the future of Amphoreus.
Dan Heng steps forward, a hand on Caelus. "You once asked what trailblazing meant to me. It has taken on thousands of wills and thousands of forms. To trailblaze to be with those who save themselves. It is to be with all living things. And to be with you. No matter the eb and flow of fate, even in the face of tempestuous seas, in the name of trailblazing, I will guard your way forward." ]
Let's go! On the Trailblaze, no one gets left behind! We'll not only Trailblaze into the future together and save the world… We'll also return to the Express together and head towards our next destination.
[ And so, they continue forward, guided by the light of their friends. It's almost time to finish the 33 million cycles of sadness.
The echo of friends reaches out.
"If I can defy fate... Then in the name of "Worldbearing," I promise you: Kephale will never forget this. Farewell, Caelus. This is where I fulfill my final destiny. The prophecy of the "Deliverer" means nothing to me now. It belongs in the hands of someone far more fitting. Someone like you. As the prophecy foretold: "I, Phainon, will bear the blazing sun, until the pale dawn— you, Caelus— breaks." May the name accompany you in my place in the epic you write with your own hands."
"Finally. The end of this journey. All of us. Reuniting. Beneath a vast. Endless sky. All the companions who sacrificed themselves. Their wishes. It's all here."
"Tomorrow, the stars will sing of the story of the Flame-Chase Journey."
"And it won't just be "you" in it. There will be "countless numbers of you."
"Amphoreus will be a glorious and magnificent world of heroes in the universe's "memories." Hence, for this world we so deeply love..."
"Let us write its ending." ]
Yes. Let's move forward. The Flame-Chase… was never about Destruction! It was about breaking free… And Trailblazing! "I" shall compose four hundred million sagas— We will rewrite the Flame-Chasers' path!
[ And now, THE FINAL BATTLE with Irontomb begins, with Subaru as a witness to the very end. However, through their tether, Subaru will constantly feel Caelus's undying fighting spirit. His courage, hope, love. As if he's reaching back to him, asking for the onmyouji's support through this battle. ]
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By comparison, Subaru's world is very small. It was two people. Then one. Then none. All of his soul's callings were microcosmic, devoid of this megalithic grandeur. But if he could help just one person... just one. Then it wouldn't have been in vain.
All of this breathes like an incantation through the final moments of this fight. Even if he can only watch, the scope like a flare of molten stardust, his unwavering tether is still there to remind Caelus of what awaits him. Earth, his loved ones upon it. The mystery of a goddess and her dreamer. There are still things...
...that he needs to do. ]
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It makes his eyes light up brighter, and that arrow of light thrown at Irontomb… the final attack to turn everything around. It shines across the cosmos, beautifully blinding. Now, it has become the 33 million cycles of hope.
However, as Irontomb falls, that means something else as well. It also means… the collapse of Amphoreus. The planet begins disintegrating, as its very life is tied to that entity's own existence. But everyone already knew the truth at this point. And that's why they needed Caelus, who had no ties to Amphoreus, allowing him to spearhead through the planet without restraints, an entity that can withstand the Aeon of Destruction because of the Stellaron in his heart, and why Lygus feared him.
The hero that this world waited for more than a millennium.
But it was time to say goodbye, for now. Because Amphoreus will sleep once more, but this time, they believe that they will awaken to a new Era Nova. A new tomorrow, guided by their beloved Deliverer. Their souls merge within the book of Remembrance, something that Caelus has never parted with since the start of his journey here in Amphoreus.
Every person, creature, and sight, Caelus remembers it all and has penned it along with Cyrene. But this is as far as Cyrene can go, too. The rest… he'll have to write by himself.
With the mission of the Trailblaze concluded here, it's time to depart for the next planet. As Cyrene fades, she sings Caelus one last song (turn on cc) as everyone's spirits bid him farewell. In the sky, the sight of the Astral Express shoots like a rising star. ]
... . . -.-- --- ..- - --- -- --- .-. .-. --- .--
SEE YOU TOMORROW
[ When the song ends, Caelus's soul finally returns to his body in Manhattan, the body held by Subaru. Those golden eyes sparkle with life, but they also start shedding tears uncontrollably. ]
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...and in the present, he starts awake from the dreaming just like Caelus does, its imprint and the runoff of everything he'd seen thick in his blood, seared hot across the backs of his eyes. It surges through their tether like the heartbeat of the lost planet itself. Not forgotten, but waiting for that tomorrow. He eases upwards, momentarily dazed by the enormity of it, even if it's this small instance on the floor of his home that recalls his focus and tells him where he needs to be.
Subaru's hand still rests over his heart where he'd protectively touched to try and calm his Stellaron. But nothing comes now. Just the soft stutter of his weeping. Quietly, he moves his hand away from his chest and lifts it to his cheek to thumb the start of his tears.
Not all endings are tragic. But neither are all beginnings happy. ]
It's alright, Caelus.
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This entire experience could only be more fuel for Caelus's undying determination. He'll make it through here, too, this planet Earth, and continue the journey of the trailblaze. He has to, for the sake of Amphoreus and many other friends he's yet to meet. A million shades of light, a million planets out in the universe. He'll run through each and every one of them, reaching his hands out as he always does.
But for now, it's okay to stop. To stop, breathe, and curl into someone's arms just like this. Subaru's fingers trail on his cheek, but more tears flow, tracing the outline of that gentle hand. Though he doesn't forget… he doesn't forget to say this now, while the chance is here. It's not the first time he's said it, but it's only appropriate to do so now. ]
… Thank you… Thank you for being here… with me.
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His thumb roves his wet cheek, the heat of his tears catching on his skin. ]
Now, if you ever have trouble remembering, [ he soothes his fingers through his hair with his opposite hand, lulling. ] I can help you.
[ He can cry for what was lost just like he can run for what has yet to begin. For now, he'll be here until he tires himself out, letting him cry as much as he needs. It's a side of him he'll also be sure not to forget. ]
You did well, Caelus.
[ Really well. ]
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So Caelus tries to smile despite the heavy tears, or how his heart seems to want to suffocate him right now, but the smile is genuine and pure. The second statement eases him shortly, feeling all the weight finally land on him. And he gives in to that feeling, his consciousness falling into a soft slumber as the tears remain on his face.
His arms remain clutched around Subaru, his body still curled against his lap on that peaceful trailer's floor. Anko finally stirs after watching everything in silence, letting out a tiny "myuu" as it watches its master sleep. That position can't be good for Caelus, considering his recovering injuries, too… ]
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I know. I probably shouldn't let him stay down here for much longer, should I?
[ Taking a careful moment to untuck Caelus's arms from him, Subaru helps guide him up onto his feet. He's slight, but stronger than he looks. He walks him out of the kitchenette and up the few stairs to the bed, peeling back the blankets to coax him to crawl in.
Once tucked in, Subaru leans out to pick up Anko and also set it gently on the bed. ]
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Once the blankets are moved for him, Caelus lies down carefully and falls back asleep instantly right after. Anko is still purring, especially when Subaru picks it up. But it quiets down so as not to disturb Caelus once it's atop the bed. Instead, it heads over to curl up against its master, joining him in slumber.
This little trailer truly feels so warm now. ]
full moon, december 4
the fuller the moon gets, the more difficult it becomes. agent choi doesn't consider himself an anxious person by any stretch of the definition, but even in the absence of that, this evening too it's started up again as reliable as clockwork. back and forth. back and forth. back and forth. all in anticipation of what might happen this time.
well, suffice to say that they've found out. or rather, subaru has.
because resting across his lap, in the very same place that agent choi had finally been coaxed from his restlessness into a fitful sleep, there's now a much heavier weight, warm and soft. he can feel it under his hand—fur that's much, much longer, fuller and thicker, and when he opens his eyes, orange, black and white will greet him—a tiger's stripes.
snzzz... ]
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It wasn't an easy sell, necessarily. But it did work. And its shape finally emerges when Subaru's sleep-tingled legs and sore back finally stir him from where he'd dozed off too.
His palm drowsily skirts the wide, weighted plane beneath it (a big cat forehead), fingertips catching on thick fur (not hair). Stilling, Subaru tenses, blinks awake fully, a little too cognizant of when he's dreaming and when he isn't. His hands pull away, hovering over the heavy form of a full tiger snoozing away on his lap.
One whose tether has remained the same through the shift, making him realize exactly what's happened here... ]
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when he stretches his arms, reaching forward and even flexing fingers... sharp claws probably tear into subaru's poor couch as a result.
...
agent choi opens his eyes. the dull, desaturated living room looks back at him, and at the end of his furry, striped arms—legs now, he guesses? whatever. anyway, there are big fat paws stretching out before relaxing. in his peripheral, he can see subaru looking down at him with big eyes. himself, he turns his head to face him a little better as his still blue gaze blinks owlishly back.
awesome. just what he always wanted. seriously, this is great.
he's not freaking out. he shouldn't even be surprised, after all this. instead, that kind of sarcastic feeling is the number one thing subaru will feel stretch across their tether. ]
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Instead, Subaru is left staring at the familiar burning starlit hue of his eyes in the face of a tiger. There's really no mistaking it from that, from the flat sensation of his emotions sulking through the tether. Finally, he breathes some of the tension out, relaxing again. It does take a little effort this time. ]
You don't seem surprised... [ His hands still hover like an awkward first date not knowing where to put them all of a sudden. ] — is what I was going to say. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like I shouldn't be, either.
[ The ears, the tail. The restless aggravation of having your own flesh and blood and instinct taken from you...
He's a shifter. And not one from the legends that Subaru grew up with, from the look of it. ]
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anyway, subaru may not know quite what to do with his hands, but agent choi? it's not like he's ever been the shy type. if he's going to have to endure this, the least he should be allowed to do is sulk a little. lowering his head back down onto subaru's lap, choi groans, stretching out his paws and rolling onto his side—striped back against subaru. the effect isn't unlike the last tiger, but bigger. much bigger. just really, really big by the way.
but hey, on the bright side? he'll be the first to admit that the past two moons haven't treated him kindly at all. rather, that request for painkillers had been beyond genuine, so isn't it odd that this time, it occurred without even waking him? there's even a tentative sense of relief behind the thought, if not underlined by suspicion.
considering it, his paws rest aloft near his chest, drawn slightly inward in a way that resembles a housecat. ]
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Beneath the wonder of the full transformation sprawled out so colorfully on his couch (and his lap, by proxy), Choi's considerable weight isn't really such a problem. Finally, Subaru's hands lower. He places one loosely on his side, just over the rise and fall of his chest. His other soothes the fur between his ears, wondering if the aches of bone being made malleable by magic still persist.
If not, well. Maybe the soft, repetitive motions will still bring some comfort. ]
Shifting under the light of a full moon. [ Subaru mulls aloud, talking shop to imbue the situation with some normalcy. ] It's more like something from European folklore, isn't it?
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nevertheless, as subaru's hands find a home in his thick fur, choi has no complaints to speak of. comforting... that might just be the right word for it! maybe not so all-encompassing as a hug, but a feeling that's sort of like that on a small scale? it feels nice, and choi chuffs, a short huff of breath through his nose as he shifts to nuzzle against subaru's fingers.
he continues like that for a moment or two, ears swivelled to show his attentiveness, before offering his input, which starts with something like a yawn. ah, but to be honest, he's not really so used to this, so what follows feels clumsy, licking his lips and chewing the air for a moment as if to get used to the feel of his own feline maw. and then, an answer in the form of a funny kind of sound that only tigers can make.
to subaru, only because of that thread between the two of them, it might feel like: "well, we are in america after all~" maybe sleep just has western preferences? ]
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But the sentiment does carry, yes. ]
I can't say that factored into whatever I was considering as an explanation.
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what was his explanation then? ]
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It's not that I had any better ideas, really. I'd like to study the possibility more...
[ But as it happens. Resources are scarce at the end of the world. ]
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second of all, study...?
hmm, well, yeah. it makes sense to want to know where sleep came from—about her origins and what she is and why she is, right? that's basically step one of an exorcism.
so... just what kind of resources would subaru have, in an ideal world? ]
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I suppose... [ Idly, he rakes his fingers behind the curvature of one spotted ear. (It seems the topic may have briefly caused him to forget that ^ this is still a whole guy.) ] Most divine beings have existed since antiquity. Every interpretation carries an opportunity to understand the truth behind them. Humanity has been ascribing meaning to the divine since it learned to pray.
We wouldn't be the first to study Sleep, if Megumi's information is correct. But everything we know is so new.
[ It would be nice to have other references. Knowledge beyond the desperation of their current situation. ]
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it's a tall order, but still, choi closes his eyes to consider the explanation for a long moment. what are the pieces in this puzzle? what are their clues so far? the moon, the fungus, the something else living inside them. there are changes, and connections, and a twisted kind of "love".
...
he probably can't offer so much here and now. this, it'll have to be more of a long-term project, but, hmm... does subaru want to talk about his thoughts so far? ]
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You're right, I'm sorry. We never came to a conclusion on her nature.
[ And how could they, really? Contamination is just as viable of a theory as the will of a new god, though there's a slender holding around his heart where doubt curls in alluring shapes. Where hurt has been transmuted into hope, or something like it — this is not a dream and yet a dead man walks, so very alive. (And causing problems...)
Silent a moment, his motions slow. His hand moves from his side to the plane of his neck. Is he still scarred, he wonders? Beneath the fur. ]
Did you give anything in the cathedral, Agent Choi?
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subaru will find that the fur does indeed thin where it should be thickest, sparser where it's wrapped around his neck. let his fingers sink in too deep and he'll brush against a line of still tender skin, warranting the tiger to lift and shake its head briefly in an attempt to redirect his attention elsewhere. for good measure, he'll roll his body too, shifting restlessly so that he lays on his side instead of his back.
as for the question, a silence stretches across the tether. in the place of thoughts or words, a tangle of complicated emotions rise up like the tide before they're slowly reigned back in. at the forefront of them: regret.
he did give something, but not willingly. ]
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You don't have to tell me what it was.
[ Subaru is well-acquainted with regret. ]
I'm certain I offered something. If nothing more than to satisfy my own curiosity. But... [ His words measure, light and simultaneously slow. ] I can't remember what it was.
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there is, however, something else that causes the agent's heart to prickle as he says it.
he doesn't remember... and choi feels curiosity, concern and something that stings around the edges—a kind of discontentment. not for subaru, but perhaps for his loss. ]
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It's alright. Because I can't recall it, it must have been a memory. But I don't feel any different.
[ There doesn't seem to be anything inherently wrong about him, or something so off that others might notice. Whatever it was, it must've been important enough to sate her, but not enough to fundamentally alter who Subaru is. It stands to reason — he's given up much, in his life. ]
Gaining insight that way hit a dead end for me.
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they've both lost something about themselves.
the tiger grumbles, dissatisfied, and pins its ears back for just a moment to show its displeasure.
he guesses sleep won't be satisfied with them doing things in halves. ]
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If it's within his power to press humanity back into this strange outline Sleep has made of him, he will. ]
There was one more thing.
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but the feeling reaches its peak, subsiding shortly after. not dismissed but at least properly felt and conveyed, he can set it aside in favour of what subaru has to say.
as that gentle hand caresses his fur, the tiger's eyes close. rather than flatten, this time its ears swivel, listening attentively. ]
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I scried One's blood.
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choi lifts his head sharply, peering up at subaru with large, expectant blue eyes. ]
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He's not divine. He's godlike, but not a god. Sleep... is beyond my capability right now, unless she can be asked directly.
[ But it's interesting, isn't it? A "god" entwined with a being who is not a god, but bears similarities to one. A beast, a force of nature, and the magic tethered to them...
It's been on his mind. That's all. ]
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instead, he decides to build on what subaru has to offer him, the question carried across their tether by a genuine curiosity: does he think that she will answer honestly, if asked directly?
... does he think she knows the answer herself? ]
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She may not know. There might be nothing to know at all. The only way to find out is to ask.
[ A hesitation lingers briefly on the tail end of his statement, more felt than heard. It's a rarity for someone so sure like he typically is. Subaru's hands still and he rests them on Choi's side thoughtfully for a moment. ]
There's just something I owe her.
[ It sounds simple, but even if he doesn't elaborate further, the tether saturates with it. It's terribly precious to him, whatever it is. His want for knowledge, for now, doesn't outweigh it. ]
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it doesn't sound like a small one by any mean, and thinking about it, choi's mouth feels dry. the tiger in subaru's lap snorts, but he's careful in what he shares with the tether—only a simple understanding comes through. message received.
...
a moment passes, and as if making its decision, the tiger pulls itself up to its feet in an abrupt motion. where its paws might step, it seems careful not to place too much of its weight—tentative, as if testing its footing, before it manages to manoeuvre itself to face subaru properly, body resting in the spot next to him rather than on him.
after a moment of peering at him, blinking, it lowers its head slightly, eyes remaining fixed on subaru's all the while. it seems to be expecting something. ]
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Message received?
He wants to ask him what he means by that. But he also thinks he knows, even if only a little. ]
...I don't really have the right to tell you what to do, [ Subaru starts, his thoughts slow to manifest as words. ] But...
[ He reaches out, taking his head in his hands. ]
Don't do anything so reckless that there's no way for you to take it back.
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...
give it a moment though, and it will close its eyes, nuzzling its face against his hand and up his wrist. it huffs and chuffs as it does so, and if subaru humors it enough, it will try to rub its cheeks up against his too, stepping back into his lap to get closer. surely this is justified if you don't have better means to show friendliness and affection, right?
behind it, its thick tail is raised high, curled at the tip. the tether between them remains wordless, but filling it instead is a great sense of affection—and confidence.
so maybe subaru can forgive him for not accepting his terms as a proper promise. ]
AHEM-hem | knock-knock, who is it
Determined for your twin star's raccoon mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of fortune that him skewer
As he rears fluff head and whiskers from the sewer
Thus facing Sumeragi woes: to smoke, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say pretend
There is ever bitter end to consternation
That Subaru is heir to? 'Tis a summation
Of twink wants, twink needs: to die, to smoke, to sleep
To sleep, perchance to Dream; aye, Seishirou's the hurt — )
Angry?
a blind minstrel...
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I'm alright. Awake, because I slept too long and spilt too much into the sea.
And yourself?
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I expect you've seen him. I also expect you'd have been... vocal if you had seen the other. It didn't occur to me that he would allow them to be apart.
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I met him, yes. Not for very long.
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Truly, Lady Sumeragi's grandson.
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If you also met him, I imagine he had even less to say.
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I expect Subaru-kun's corporate loyalties are more complicated.